Ugh, ok so here it goes.
My dysphoria is... strange (to me) at best. It seems to pick and chose what it flares up over and has no rhyme or reason. For instance, I have no desire to have children, even if I was born cis I still don't think I'd wanna get pregnant. The other day though, I saw a pregnant lady and I thought to myself: 'wow, I'll never be able to do that'. I don't think it was so much the actual pregnancy aspect of it, so much as it was realizing my body will always be different. I also abhor my body hair and it drives me absolutely nuts. I guess my dysphoria is strongest in a social sense. It gets a little more complicated though. When I think about how other people are thinking about me, I always hear he and I swear I wanna scream every time it happens.
I don't even know what kind of discussion could be held on this, but feel free to ask any questions or what not. I just felt the urge to write it on here because it's really the only true safe space I have.
we all know that feel dear...
I dunno what else to say...
Mmm yes...it seems since starting my transition the sirs and mans are flying like there's no tomorrow. I had one cashier say, "Hi sir, can I help you find anything sir? If you need any help sir, just let me know sir." Intentional? I think so.
I know exctly how you feel.. and certainly it bugs me more than others. I never planned on having kids either, but have thought "Ill never be able to do that" its just the point really.. And as for the sir/he thing, i think that happens to all of us at some point, Just stay strong and know things will get better! Keep your head up girl and remember not all days are like this!
Jocelyn Rose