Hey Everyone,
I've been on hormones for exactly three months now (there was a place where I said it was three last month on the forum but i miscounted my months). I can't believe the changes that my body has undergone in such a short amount of time and I feel so grateful that I am gendered correctly pretty much wherever I go by how I now look which is awesome. Problem is, my brain does not seem to be recognizing the change. I have to look in the mirror over and over again, stare at my reflection in windows as I walk by, or check my camera phone to look at my face to make sure I still look like I do.
When I am not looking in a mirror, my brain sees this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi102.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm115%2FAthena_Lynn_Harting%2F20140425_093936_zpslhf7jj1b.jpg&hash=6491b8f3098f5b05691c7a4b9ecc36470910d9a7)
But when i look into a mirror, i see this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi102.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fm115%2FAthena_Lynn_Harting%2F20140703_102421_zpsfzt26t76.jpg&hash=0956b36b6a3fe8b23a24118a0f7c3c829162af72)
Is there a good way for me to actualize these changes in my head? Also, when i look at these pictures, even though there is a clear difference, i cant put my finger on the changes, could someone help me understand what differences are in my face now as I cannot honestly figure it out....My brain wont let me.
Hugs,
Athena
Softer looking skin with that glow they talk about, genuine smile, and reduced muscle on the jaw line. The hair is longer and better frames your face. Your looking good!
I have the same problem it's a terrible curse
Quote from: LordKAT on July 03, 2014, 01:00:11 PM
Softer looking skin with that glow they talk about, genuine smile, and reduced muscle on the jaw line. The hair is longer and better frames your face. Your looking good!
I think you neck looks more slender too. Isn't amazing how sometimes even small changes can make such a huge difference in your overall appearance?
I can relate, it doesn't help that I don't really trust anyone else's opinion either. I will solicit the advice of others, and dismiss anything critical out of hand, and then dismiss anything positive as them just trying to spare my feelings. Not really sure what to do about that.
It takes a while for your brain to stop seeing your old self. I also see some old shapes that are no longer present. For the most part though I see the face of my older sister.
The same is for the people who knew me before. Whatever the end result will be there's still the old image in the brain that will keep popping up as an association. And the same stands for voice. That's the advantage of people who didn't know us before. They'll never get these associations.
Try giving yourself some time and try to think about something positive when looking into a mirror and not about your past :-) .
Personally I'd say my bigger problem are phantom facial hair. When I look closely into the mirror and think about them I immediately see a gray MO that's not actually there. So I'm evading that just by thinking "I look great" when looking into the mirror :-) .
You look a lot like my friend Catherine in the later picture.
One of my favorite quotes, from Nietzsche: "You don't want your chain to let you go? Then by all means, bite it!"
In other words, don't worry about it, don't push it. Let it come in it's own time. And it will come.
You can't overturn a long-held self-image overnight. Give it time. It will come.