I'm not sure if it's a right place and this information relates to everybody.
It's been a while since I posted. Some of you may know me, however due to personal reasons I deleted my posts. I come to this board to read up on topics that interest me and find some answers to my own problems. Orgasm is one of those. I did some research regarding this issue to gain better understanding of what is going on with human body during the process. Information is scattered all over the net and there is not much of scientific data. There is a lot of misconception and incorrect statements made by ordinary people and professionals. Sex and orgasm is a taboo and for many people is just TMI, however I believe is an integral part of who we are as human beings. I tried to gather as much of information as possible and give overview. This post may change the way you think about you own body and its possibilities.
Orgasm is not magic. It's not something that appears from nowhere and makes us feel wonderful. We have genitals and our brain. And if you think about it genitals are probably the only human organs that are directly connected to our brains. There is a link between our mind and penis or vagina. No joke. Single thought can make you feel aroused and vice versa physical stimulation can make you feel awesome. But when you think about orgasm, you have to treat it as destination. And there is more then one way to get to that point.
There are four stages of sexual response cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Here is more about each one of them
http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_response_cycle_phases_of_sexual_response/article.htm
As you can see orgasm is only a part of greater picture. The whole experience is called Sexual Response Cycle (SRC). Obviously in common language and believes SRC is synonymous with orgasm and as we all know SRC for males and females is somewhat different. Interesting enough orgasm by itself is similar for both sexes.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201004/male-and-female-orgasm-not-so-different
The most typical way of achieving orgasm is through physical stimulation. Our sex organs have incredible amount of nerve connections. They concentrate in specific area. For males is in the tip of their penis. For females are their clitoris and some areas of vagina mostly in the opening. And number of nerves connections is close to 8 thousands. For males this number is below 1000. For typical healthy males reaching orgasm is not a problem. It's almost always synchronized with ejaculation. Females are not so lucky. Only 25 % of woman experience orgasm during intercourse!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/200903/the-most-important-sexual-statistic
Think about it. They have fully functional sex organs. All the nerve endings are intact and yet they cannot achieve full sexual satisfaction. Well, something is missing.
I mentioned before orgasm as being the destination. There are different ways to get there. However for males who are straight there is pretty much only one option, which is penile orgasm. The other one is through prostate stimulation. So limited possibilities but sure results. For females things get more interesting. There are at least 4 different types of orgasm. Some websites will include even greater number. It's important to remember that even though stimulation is different, the end result is the same.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-pleasure/201212/different-types-female-orgasm-the-debate-continues
What's causing such a disparity? It seems that for woman engaging in sexual act may not provide desired outcome, unless there is one more element ...imagination.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/29/sunday-review/ill-have-what-shes-thinking.html?pagewanted=all&_r=2&
Females
"In 1980 she mentioned her research while giving a talk at a conference on women's issues and was astonished when half the audience came up afterward to volunteer. "There was a stampede," Dr. Ogden recalled. Of the 50 women she interviewed, 32 — or 64 percent — reported that they could reach orgasm by imagination alone.
In some other article I found information that this ability increases with age and occurs in certain situation like being alone for a very long time and away from a partner. In most cases it's completely spontaneous.
Males
"Surveys revealed that the phenomenon, while rare, nonetheless seemed to occur with some regularity. In 1948, Alfred C. Kinsey of Indiana University and his colleagues published "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male." That groundbreaking study looked at thousands of cases but noted only two in which men "could reach climax by deliberate concentration of thought on erotic situations.""
So we have two extreme situations. On one side we have physical stimulation only, on the other side mental stimulation. Both of them provide the same results. Clearly finding balance between mind and body will be optimal situation. What we care about is achieving satisfaction, not how we get there.
Let's talk about differences of SRC in both sexes. Primary difference is that for males, unless there is some medical condition, achieving orgasm is not a problem. Orgasm and ejaculation is predictable and pretty much constant. There is not much variation in intensity between each orgasm. Most man would not even notice any difference. Probably the main reason is that whole experience is just too short.
For females SRC is a learning process. It's different for each woman. Furthermore each orgasm can differ. Success depends on many variables: relaxation, mental stimulation, situation, intimate connection, expectations. Since this is such an individual experience, many young girls do not know what they can expect. They ask questions and get response "you know when you get it". Many woman set benchmark of orgasmic experience, dismissing what in their opinion does not count as orgasm. They compare it to previous ones. Sometimes they have orgasm and another one shows up couple years later. From male perspective it's hard to even imagine. My guess is the most women do not even think about these issues, they know very little about their bodies and possibilities. They simply engage in sexual act, hoping for the best.
As expected scientist do their best to generalize SRC. It means they look at this whole experience and say, this is what should happen for man or woman. Since woman SRC is much longer they are able to collect more data and concentrate on each stage of SRC. What they know for sure is that males during orgasm should have ejaculation caused by contraction of penile muscles. Females on the other hand should have whole set of signs:
- increased body temperature (feeling warmth)
- increased heart beat
- hardening of nipples
- changing color of skin due to increased blood circulation
- pelvic muscles contractions (lower section of vagina) more than 3 times
All of theses signs do not happen at once. It starts with increased heat and shortening of breath. At some point vagina expands and it's followed by rapid contractions and heart beating extremely fast like somebody who would have a heart attack. Here is interesting fact, not all women would experience the final stage of SRC. Sometimes they have only "fuzzy" feeling all over their bodies, sometimes they get to plateau and they are unable to go any further. Sometimes it's only increased heart beat and no contractions.
As I said before, only 1-2 women out of 10 would experience orgasm from intercourse alone. Much more often they are able to orgasm through masturbation in much more quiet settings when they have to engage their minds and imagination.
On average it takes about 3-5 minutes for a man to reach orgasm. For woman that time is much longer and it's between 20-45 minutes. However you have to remember that there is always a variance in the way people respond to sexual stimulation.
What really happens in human brain during orgasm? Orgasm is bio-chemical reaction. Literally your brain is on drugs and they are very powerful. How strong? Imagine having a brain seizure, when you loose control of your body. This is how many women describe it, loosing control of their bodies, unable to move. There is sudden increase in dopamine causing increased arousal. Another hormone that is being released is oxytocin responsible for contractions. There is surge of prolactin and finally serotonin that causes men to feel sleepy. For males there are only spikes in prolactin and they do not cause any harm. Females usually do not get serotonin right away after them orgasm. However there are woman that have this male pattern "dopamine seratonin" and it's treated with some hormones. There are differences in the way male and female brain functions during that time. Some parts of female brain gets shutdown and other one are being activated. For example part of the brain responsible for feelings is being deactivated and another one called prefrontal cortex (PFC) becomes active.
It's a common believe that our bodies release testosterone and estrogen during orgasm. Not true. You will not go blind when you masturbate and no hair will grow on palm of your hand.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21028124.600-sex-on-the-brain-orgasms-unlock-altered-consciousness.html#.U3PR9yhRd8F
http://www.medicaldaily.com/brain-sex-how-brain-functions-during-orgasm-274052
Here are to interesting clips that shows what happen with human brain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMMRAwBXE8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpc2NjUAtOY
Some other interesting facts about female orgasm. Women have ability to orgasm all the time. Unlocking that ability is the most difficult part. This is process that needs to be learned. It's like finding out what works and triggers arousal. In fact arousal is a key component of success. Common believe is that males are visual creatures and they respond to what they see. Females should respond to different type of stimulation like verbal, smell, touch. You can test this yourself. Would reading some passage from a book would make you feel aroused? It does not have to be explicit. Similarly, does watching some movie (not porn) would make you feel warm or excited? It's not that intercourse act itself causes orgasm, but rather synchronization of reality with imagination and desires gives the most powerful experiences.
Here is an interesting documentary. There is a short interview with lady who has sex with some guy in a hotel and this is the only time when she has orgasm. This is when her desires and reality connected
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOgyg_rouZY
There are two strong triggers: submission and dominance. Letting go of control of you own body, feeling being controlled. Sometimes woman experience orgasm in situations that are just plain horrible like rape. This is subconscious response and in most cases we are not aware of our own desires. Simply some situations make us more aroused than other. However there is direct link between arousal and SRC. Stronger arousal equals more intense experience. Since there is variation in arousal as a result each orgasm feels different.
There is one more component in female SRC, hormones. Woman's ability to orgasm changes during menstrual cycle. Typical cycle lasts 28 days, 14th day marks ovulation. Starting from day 7th estrogen slowly rises up to its highest level and suddenly drops during ovulation. There is also slight increase in testosterone levels. Second week around ovulation time is when woman are most likely to experience orgasm.
Some personal thoughts. Scientist would like to make us believe that both males and females experience orgasm similarly. However, similar does not mean equal. It's sort of like comparing apples and oranges. They both are fruits, but taste different. In addition what holds true for one individual is completely different for the other. To tell the truth you will need one individual who would experience both to make comparison. I read both FTM's and MTF's descriptions of orgasm and one thing cannot be denied. HTR changes SRC. FTM's report more localized and highly intense response and MTF's describe it as spread feeling of different intensity.
In my opinion any involuntary response of you body due to various stimulations of sexual nature whether physical or non-physical accounts for SRC. Sometimes these responses are very mild, or surprising. Sometimes you cannot connect a dots and after while you tell yourself, "wow, that was different". Sometimes you will have some "fuzzy" feeling in your arms, legs or belly. Maybe you will have fast paced heart bit. It's all valid. There is one important component that people are not aware of. Our state of mind during SRC, our gender identity. You should approach this experience "as a woman" or "as a man" and I'm not talking about imagining sexual organs. I'm talking about who you are and after while you will forget about it completely, letting yourself be part of something spectacular.
Well done!
Thank you for sharing the information. I found it very interesting. I definitely learned a few things :)
never had one either way. Dont feel emotionally engaged until after sex and no stimulation during...