Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I've been feeling more depressed about myself lately. I really hate my voice, I'd like to change it up a bit but I've no idea where to start and I get anxious thinking about practising it around people I know. I've been waiting to start HRT for over a year now but the process is long and admittedly due to my own faults it's taken much longer. My next appointment isn't until the end of this year and it hurts me so much to have to wake up and not see a female in the mirror all the time.
Yesterday I attended my first music audition/interview ever to get into a Cert 3 and whilst it didn't go as planned (had some technical problems) I passed it quite well (was losing lots of sleep over it). I can start on the Monday coming up but I plan to enrol next year. I just didn't like that when I was discussing with a few of the teachers about enrolling they kept referring to me as a guy and all. I'm guessing it was my voice and not having any breast but it really got to me. I hate my Adam's apple and just wish I had a vagina. :( I also identify as lesbian and it upsets me because I feel as though I'll never find one who will accept me for who I am. I have no clue where to even meet other lesbians (I'm not legally an adult yet so I can't go to bars etc, I probably wouldn't anyway; it's not my type of thing) and plus I have social anxiety disorder so it's hard for me to go anywhere yet alone talk to new people.
edit: deleted picture
~Valleyrie
I'm so sorry for what you are going thought, and I totally understand you because I feel the same, I wish I had a higher pitched voice, a vagina, and that I could start HRT already but I have to wait for all of this, and I'm attracted to ladies as well, and when I was on a lesbian forum I found out many transphobic comments on how Mtf are considered men, and shouldn't call themselves lesbians and stuff, and about how our future neo vaginas are fake and never feel like a real woman, which made me so sad. Plus my family doesn't know and doesn't support at all.
You look very feminine in that picture! I wish my hair were so long lol but I'm trying to grow them out, very feminine, if you can you should get earings :3 I think you won't have problems passing when you start HRT.
Hey Emily, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Unfortunately, ignorance is found in most communities which really sucks to hear things like that. Sort of makes me a bit hopeless but I'm sure not all lesbians are like that. I'm really sorry that your family aren't supportive of you, it's so hard being different. And thank you ^_^ I've been growing my hair out for about a year and a half now and I'm loving it. I actually used to have earrings but that was ages ago, haha. :)
Hun, you have so much potential! ♥
You're pretty already, and I realize it may be hard to believe it, but I honestly think so.
You already have gorgeous hair, just style it a little more feminine, wear some more makeup, add a cute wardrobe and there's no doubt in my mind you wouldn't be passing.
So I know you'll be able to find a partner as well, don't stress about it, the time will come ~
Hi kitty, thanks for the reply I really appreciate it. :) I'm not too sure what I'm doing with my hair atm all I know is that I'm gonna let it grow some more and see what happens. xD
I see you're new here, welcome! I'm sure you'll like it here, it's great. ^.^