According to the poll at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,16159.0.html, tied for 2nd most popular fear as an androgyne is "Romantic and intimate relationship fears ". Already I covered the first most popular post under the post about Fear of Rejection at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,16546.0.html.
What are some of the fears or specifics related to your partnering with another?
Do you or have you feared being with someone else, and has being androgyne affected this fear?
If so, how and in what ways?
If you have overcome the fears or had a successful romantic or intimate relationship, what did you do to overcome this fear, and have success?
If you have had failures, what do you think you did wrong, or what did you learn?
What hurts or worries you the most?
I'm afraid that I won't be accepted or supported. That I will no longer be loved because I'm not feminine enough. This actually happened recently. My boyfriend broke up with me in part because he "doesn't want to date a boy." I feel that I will never find someone who will love both of us.
Sorry to hear that Kerry/Kenneth (shawnael). That hurts.
There are others that understand such as other androgynes, transgender, and accepting none TGs out there.
Ken/Kendra
Due to recent circumstances I believe throwing in a reply is in place.
Those who have viewed my blog most likely read that I lost my SO because of my Androgyny. The most important cause is that they were unable to understand my Androgyny, and 'brushed it off' as fairly unimporant. However, I was the one who made the decission that I could not live with someone who viewed gender as irrelevant (after all: my gender is relevant to me as it is to a TS), and merely viewed my gender identity as another subculture on par with goth/punk and even religion.
What I have learnt from this is that you always have to keep in mind that your partner may not understand your gender identity, and therefore dismiss it. There is only a certain extend to which you can attempt to explain, and you are the one that has to make the choice whether or not you can live with misunderstanding which nearly equals being closeted. Love may conquer all, but misery puts a dark cloud above life.
Quote from: no_id on August 03, 2007, 09:32:41 AM
What I have learnt from this is that you always have to keep in mind that your partner may not understand your gender identity, and therefore dismiss it. There is only a certain extend to which you can attempt to explain, and you are the one that has to make the choice whether or not you can live with misunderstanding which nearly equals being closeted. Love may conquer all, but misery puts a dark cloud above life.
Sorry for your misfortune also. And good warning, and is something many TGs have experienced. I was dumped myself for my gender identity. Just because they have loved you once or shown love, didnt mean she accepted me for my identity and how I felt. And she had felt that I was making her be a lesbian or something like that. Sorta like Kerry/Kenneth [shawnael]
This was a prior relationship not my current one.
Quote from: shawnael on July 31, 2007, 01:27:15 AM
I'm afraid that I won't be accepted or supported. That I will no longer be loved because I'm not feminine enough. This actually happened recently. My boyfriend broke up with me in part because he "doesn't want to date a boy." I feel that I will never find someone who will love both of us.
Quote from: Ken/Kendra on August 04, 2007, 09:33:28 AM
Sorry for your misfortune also. And good warning, and is something many TGs have experienced. I was dumped myself for my gender identity. Just because they have loved you once or shown love, didnt mean she accepted me for my identity and how I felt. And she had felt that I was making her be a lesbian or something like that. Sorta like Kerry/Kenneth [shawnael]
This was a prior relationship not my current one.
Thanks KK :)
It nearly seems that the hardest part for partners when it comes to accepting your GID is realising that you are (in fact) still the exact same person[...] Now that's one for the mystery-bus!
QuoteThose who have viewed my blog most likely read that I lost my SO because of my Androgyny. The most important cause is that they were unable to understand my Androgyny, and 'brushed it off' as fairly unimporant.
Sorry to hear of this No-id. I've also lost previous partners due their not being able to deal w/ my gender variance. Happily, that's all in the past, current partner appreciates my gender or lack thereof.
Zythyra