Perhaps an unusual question, but what happens to transwomen as they age significantly? It obviously takes an extraordinary amount of work to maintain reasonable good looks throughout life, especially for us, but towards the higher end of the age spectrum - seventies, eighties, etc. - what happens? Do we essentially just turn in to sweet little old ladies, just like every other little old lady out there, or do we still have to work our asses off to maintain the outward appearance of femininity? Or perhaps by that age, most people have figured out how to stop worrying about what other people think?
You will find that as cis women age, most become more masculine. We on the other hand, due to HRT, surgeries and such stand a chance of remaining more feminine looking than cis women. If you look at an older couple, the man has shrunk and gone grey and is quite close to the height and build of the woman in some cases due to the reduction of T and the woman has become more masculine due to the reduction of E. They are the invisible people. Sometimes it is only the mannerisms, voice, and the over use of floral and pink clothing that tells you that you are interacting with an older female.
This is just the way I see it, so I am probably wrong.
Oh, and in answer to the subject question -"Do we grow old gracefully?".
Hopefully not :P
Nikki
I'm not sure whether there is a difference between the way transwomen and ciswomen appear as they age. Whether we grow old gracefully or not, I would think is not a matter of appearance, but of attitude. And that, trans or cis, is probably subject to the individual. (For the record, growing old? Kicking and screaming! Kicking and screaming, I tell you! ;))
I don't know about "gracefully" but I intend on ageing Fully Grace... ;D
Quote from: Ms Grace on July 11, 2014, 05:46:05 AM
I don't know about "gracefully" but I intend on ageing Fully Grace... ;D
And being addressed to as "Your Grace"? ;)
Without giving my age away, I won't see 50 again. Like you I used to look at sweet little old ladies and wondered if that would be me when I reached a certain age. Well my son is in his late 30s and I have no intention of allowing myself to become that sweet little old lady. In part it's probably the HRT, but most of us on here have gone through the period after transition where you started to look much more feminine and younger.
When it starts to go the other way, I think it's in our nature to do something positive about it, like exercise, choosing feminine clothes which make us look younger without looking ridiculous. . . and, for some, surgery.
I'm certainly not like most cis women of a certain age who just let nature take its course and use that as an excuse to let themselves go.
Recently I was talking to a cis gendered female friend who is quite a bit younger than me. These two young guys, probably in their mid 20s, came over and started chatting to us and I expected the attention to be on her as she is quite pretty. But the one with all the chat looked at me and said: "I bet you looked very fit when you were younger." I told him to not be so cheeky adding: "I'll have you know I still look fit."
I must admit that made my day, and I wasn't exactly wearing anything that could be regarded as sexy.
I have every intention to look as good as I can for as long as I can.
Caroline
x ;)
Never sure what was meant by aging gracefully. When I age I expect to look older. When I do a lot of aging, I expect to look really old. When I get into my 80s and 90s (if I'm blessed to live that long) I expect to look really, really old.
Doesn't have anything to do with being trans. People look old as they get older.
My conversations with older women who I know has convinced me that it's possible to be comfortable with your looks no matter how old you are.
As far as passability (which IS NOT THE SAME as good looks), the trans women I know of advanced age seem to pass well.
pictures on the internet show transgender women the same cis women of similar age. I saw an interview once of one of Andy Warhol's trans models when she was older , she was beautiful . that interview always has stayed in my mind because she was so elegant
They gradually start morphing back into their birth sex, grow beards, lose hair.. Why would there be any difference?
I don't know about transgender women, but I saw a picture once on the internet of a sasquatch. :P
Quote from: Nicolette on July 11, 2014, 08:37:58 AM
They gradually start morphing back into their birth sex, grow beards, lose hair.. Why would there be any difference?
I don't know about transgender women, but I saw a picture once on the internet of a sasquatch. :P
Was that a cis or trans-sasquatch?
It's very difficult to tell the sexes apart. But judging from its furtive side glances I have to conclude that it was trans. It's only conjecture, mind you.
Quote from: Nicolette on July 11, 2014, 08:51:26 AM
It's very difficult to tell the sexes apart. But judging from its furtive side glances I have to conclude that it was trans. It's only conjecture, mind you.
Must have been very passable then... sigh.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 11, 2014, 08:53:06 AM
Must have been very passable then... sigh.
Kind of like cousin It.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on July 11, 2014, 08:53:06 AM
Must have been very passable then... sigh.
Passable to us, but probably less passable to their own. :laugh:
There's a chance that we are inclined to take womanhood for granted less than cis do. And whatever follows from that. But the "little", you can strike out immediately.
There's really no telling how you'll in 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or who knows how many years. Age is merciful to some but it tends to take it's toll based on your genes, life style, regime, diet, habits...
Personally I'd say the best guess would be looking at your mother and grandmother. DNA can't be denied especially given that it's interpreted the same way through sex hormones.
Or you can start saving a LOT of money for currently highly experimental projects in regenerative medicine and hope you'll get some years back. Perhaps in 2030 you'll be able to literally buy 10 years off your age :-) .
I've wondered about the OP's question a lot and was going to open a similar topic. On the image blogging sites, it's all about the "TRAPS!" but you never see hottish traps over 20 y.o. or so to compare yourself to. :D
What gives? ???
(for research purposes only)
I am and shall grow old dis grace fully
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 11, 2014, 02:04:43 PM
I've wondered about the OP's question a lot and was going to open a similar topic. On the image blogging sites, it's all about the "TRAPS!" but you never see hottish traps over 20 y.o. or so to compare yourself to. :D
"Traps"? When did this mega offensive term suddenly enter common parlance?
Quote from: Nicolette on July 11, 2014, 02:31:39 PM
"Traps"? When did this mega offensive term suddenly enter common parlance?
In the hetero circles it's been common for awhile.
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 11, 2014, 02:33:30 PM
In the hetero circles it's been common for awhile.
Well, thanks for making me aware of it, but I can't think of a more derogatory term for a pre-op/non-op. I suggest you don't create a thread entitled such. :o
Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 11, 2014, 05:43:07 AM
I'm not sure whether there is a difference between the way transwomen and ciswomen appear as they age. Whether we grow old gracefully or not, I would think is not a matter of appearance, but of attitude. And that, trans or cis, is probably subject to the individual. (For the record, growing old? Kicking and screaming! Kicking and screaming, I tell you! ;))
I will be kicking and screaming as well, lol :)
I actually do know a few trans women who started earlier on-in their twenties, mostly-and they all look amazing. This might be a fluke, or because we tend to worry more about our skin, etc...but it gives me hope.
I don't care how I grow old. I just hope I get to do so now.
I've thought about this a bit and we do have a couple of things going for us that might help us look younger than our cis sisters.
Our breast development starts later in life, gravity hasn't had as much time to take it's toll
We tend to have stronger bone structures, less chance of skeletal issues and osteoporoses
We do not have to deal with complications associated with childbirth
We start wearing make-up later, less clogging of pours, etc
We generally do hair removal and keep it up as we age
We are more aware of staying fit and exercising
More experience and acceptance of wearing wigs rather than showing thinning hair
Our hormone levels don't drop, we can keep taking Estrogen
I think we might actually be fairly well off as far as growing older goes....
Well, I'm going to try and grow old gracefully, but if my youth thus far has been any indication I'm unlikely to succeed XD
Quote from: missymay on July 11, 2014, 08:33:33 PM
I will be kicking and screaming as well, lol :)
Er, Yea, this is me, kicking and screaming. I'll do my best to look as good as I can for as long as I can. However I do still feel genes do play a part in anyone's lifespan cis or trans.
I'm approaching 50 this year, and I hope for another 50.
Best wishes.
Ally :icon_flower:
-- Antonia, I agree with your observation. I have 8 sisters. Three of which are older than me. I am now in my mid-50s. Everyone who meets us always think that I am among the younger of the sisters -- even younger than the next to youngest... I feel that our ability to continue estrogen intake is what 'preserves' us to a degree or at least enhances the ability not to age physically. If you add exercise, good diet, and good skincare, you are far ahead of the aging game. Case in point -- My friend, who is post-op, does not care about skin care, diet, no exercise at all and rarely takes her estrogen. I've been asked if she is my older sister and a couple of times if she was an older relative. She is one year younger than me. So I hypothesized that estrogen plays a big role in our youthful looks.
When I'm out and about socializing the topic of age comes up quite frequently. People never guess my age, and usually tell me that I'm lying. I'll be 44 in September. I can tell you that the hormones have helped my skin, as well as the laser I've had done.
Quote from: Cindy on July 11, 2014, 02:21:32 PM
I am and shall grow old dis grace fully
I'm with you Cindy... I have to catch up on a lot of naughty... (Grin) Oh, I forgot to mention I got my WPATH letter for HRT... Look out ladies... (Snicker)
Quote from: Veronica M on July 12, 2014, 12:29:26 PM
I'm with you Cindy... I have to catch up on a lot of naughty... (Grin) Oh, I forgot to mention I got my WPATH letter for HRT... Look out ladies... (Snicker)
I'm very happy for you that you got your letter! I wish you the very best as you begin your journey.
Ally :icon_flower:
Since starting HRT my skin looks healthier and my face and body look youthful.
People who do not know me guess my age 15-20 years younger...
Quote from: peky on July 12, 2014, 01:32:53 PM
Since starting HRT my skin looks healthier and my face and body look youthful.
People who do not know me guess my age 15-20 years younger...
When people tell me I look 25 or 30, I buy them a drink.
I know this was asked about trans women, but there is a VERY good film called "Growing Old Gracefully". I saw this at Philly trans health. Very good film (though not everyone interviewed was even over 50-- but some were). It would be good for LGBT centers and so on to have this one.
As for me I'm not really old but I'm way over 40. :)
--Jay
Cis or trans jt is a bit of a crap shoot. Of course the 'E' helps but genetics, do you drink, sun exposure how much effort you put into looking after your skin it all helps. So only time will tell
Now how will I age gratefully? well growing old is mandatory, growing up. By Cthulu no way ever!
Quote from: Allyda on July 12, 2014, 01:18:39 PM
I'm very happy for you that you got your letter! I wish you the very best as you begin your journey.
Ally :icon_flower:
Thank you Ally,
Actually the Journey has been ongoing since last February, but I wanted to lose some weight before starting HRT. But yes I am quite excited indeed. I have since come out to most everyone, and even at this point am out so to speak, but all said I am looking forward to the changes. I have kept this in a box for forty plus years so I am a late bloomer, but that's okay too...
Quote from: Veronica M on July 12, 2014, 02:07:30 PM
Thank you Ally,
Actually the Journey has been ongoing since last February, but I wanted to lose some weight before starting HRT. But yes I am quite excited indeed. I have since come out to most everyone, and even at this point am out so to speak, but all said I am looking forward to the changes. I have kept this in a box for forty plus years so I am a late bloomer, but that's okay too...
Well, you wouldn't know it by looking at me but I'm 49 and changing quite well. After only a little over 6 months I fill an A cup nicely (yes, they look bigger on me because I'm tiny), my facial features have softened. I'm very thankful as these changes are ongoing.
Just wait, 6 months from now you'll be making a post similar to this one, lol!
Again, best wishes with your hrt as you continue your journey.
Ally :icon_flower: