For as long as I can remember I have had feelings of not being comfortable with my gender and that I want to be a girl instead of a boy. That being said I keep going through phases where I either really want to be a girl or where I try to ignore these feelings, however even during the phases where I try and ignore it I still get these feelings and I don't feel comfortable with who I am.
I don't know what to do and i'm scared. I'm currently living in the UK does anyone have some good advice?
Hi Lyra! What you describe is what most of us have felt at one time or another. It is not uncommon. The phases you mention are do in part to the struggles you will face by transitioning and by leaving the comfortable known life behind you. The first stop for most of us was with a Therapist who has gender experience with this issue. I wish I could say it will be easy, but with all I read here on the NHS it will be very difficult and time consuming. I hope one of our UK family will be along shortly to detail the process for you. Just know you are not alone in your struggle and we will be here to help however we can. Just admitting to strangers on a forum like this is a good start. I was at the lowest part of my life when I joined here and now I have come out, been to a Therapist, currently on HRT and have been full time since Jan 1st. There are very good people here whose own experiences will be valuable for you so never hesitate to ask questions.
Here is a big warm welcome to the family. It will not take you too long to see this is truly a family.
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We're here for you! We've all been there, the roller coaster ride that is our adventure. Just know that there are people here that care for you and want to help. Welcome to the site!
You seem normal to me. I went through the same thing. When you decide you can let go of the need to ignore the possibility of transition the world becomes a shiny, exciting place. :D
Jessica's right, therapy is a great first step.
Welcome to the family, sister. ;D
Thanks everyone for the kind words. So I should have therapy? I'm just wondering where you go for therapy or who you talk to. Is there such thing as talking to a therapist online? I live with parents after all and I would rather not tell them until i'm 100 percent sure.
Yes, you really should talk with a gender therapist. I don't know how the NHS works, so can't help you with details. But the therapist can help you to work through your feelings and should be able to connect you with other specialists should the time come when they are needed.
There are online gender therapists but I am not familiar with them. They are out there.
When I first started seeing a therapist I told my wife it was for depression and only later told her the full truth, I don't know if you can do something like that?
Well I would need my parents to take me if I had to go anywhere so it wouldn't really be possible to lie.
I guess I've got to somehow find an online Gender Therapist that I can talk to.
Thumbs up to therapy as being the first port of call. Not a UK specialist, but if I understand it correctly you'd access this initially through your GP. (Don't quote me on that.)
In the meantime, I'd also strongly encourage three other things. First, stick around here; read the posts, make some acquaintances, start to figure out where you fit when it comes to your gender. This site is without a doubt a vitally important tool for bouncing ideas around, getting encouragement, support and taking those first difficult few steps in figuring out who you really are. There's no need to wait until you can see a therapist - you can start now.
Second, you could look for a local trans group and get in contact with them too; attend a meeting, speak to some of the people there. This too will help you figure out where you belong, what you're looking for, and where you want to end up.
Third, are there counselors at your school who you could talk to?
Just don't isolate yourself or hide this away. The NHS can be sloooooow, but there's places you can get immediate support in the meantime.
Quote from: Brenda E on July 16, 2014, 07:36:35 AM
Thumbs up to therapy as being the first port of call. Not a UK specialist, but if I understand it correctly you'd access this initially through your GP. (Don't quote me on that.)
In the meantime, I'd also strongly encourage three other things. First, stick around here; read the posts, make some acquaintances, start to figure out where you fit when it comes to your gender. This site is without a doubt a vitally important tool for bouncing ideas around, getting encouragement, support and taking those first difficult few steps in figuring out who you really are. There's no need to wait until you can see a therapist - you can start now.
Second, you could look for a local trans group and get in contact with them too; attend a meeting, speak to some of the people there. This too will help you figure out where you belong, what you're looking for, and where you want to end up.
Third, are there counselors at your school who you could talk to?
Just don't isolate yourself or hide this away. The NHS can be sloooooow, but there's places you can get immediate support in the meantime.
Thanks I'll follow your advice. And unfortunately we don't have counselors at my school
Well LyraScarlet, you have for to the right place. You have already received lots of good advice so I won't add anything further. I'm glad you are here. Susans will help you accept who you are and love who you are. We have all had the same feelings you have had so don't worry.
Quote from: LyraScarlet on July 16, 2014, 07:30:50 AM
Well I would need my parents to take me if I had to go anywhere so it wouldn't really be possible to lie.
I guess I've got to somehow find an online Gender Therapist that I can talk to.
The place to start is your GP. If you are aged 16 or above you can see the GP privately but you will undoubtedly have to inform your parents at some point. Whilst a GP could refer you to a specialist directly they prefer you to have been cleared by the local mental health specialists. The idea is to ensure that you have no other conditions that could complicate treatment.
You would then have to be referred to a specialist and since you are under 18 none of the main gender clinics will do. If you are in England then it is likely to be the Tavistock clinic. See http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/local-gender-identity-clinics.aspx for details
I cannot advise you much further as I went through the adult process, but one or two points might help.
- You may be able to get put on "puberty blockers" as they are affectionately known. They stop puberty whilst you are under initial assessment. If you decide not to transition then they stop giving you them and puberty continues.
- Do not expect hormones straightaway