Hi,
I was sitting on a park bench this morning, just resting because I was out bicycling, and I started thinking again about how I'm always alone. This is not the first time this has crossed my mind, believe me.
I can not, seriously, can not deal with males. Not on a friendship basis anyways. I work with them, talk and interact, but it never works out having one for a friend. Therefore, reduce about one alf of the population from being possible people to 'hang' with.
Any friends I have had in my life have been female. This just doesn't always work out either, at least for me. They generally have had a boyfriend, husband, etc. that can't get over us spending time together. Though these days more guys seem to be OK with it if they think you may be gay. I have never really told any of these people about myself and over time things just dwindle away for one reason or another.
I have found ways to be alone and not always feel sorry for myself. Usually works but not always. I guess it's incorrect to place all the blame on being trans. I think I'm not that bad of a person though. It's just that over the years, I have become a person that doesn't really invite people into my life. I have learned that it will not last, at least for me it won't. I don't have people over because they would no doubt realize some things that about me just by how I arrange things etc.
I think this is one of the saddest parts of being a person that doesn't quite fit. I apologize if this issue has been brought up lots before. I am really new here so ... I guess I was just in need of expressing myself about it.
Vent away sweetie! That is what we are here for the good AND bad days we all have. I do hope you know you have friends here who will listen and at least give a hug. You may be alone, but with us here you will never be lonely! :) :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
I can relate, I have been meaning to reach out and broaden my circle of friends. In my case getting married seemed to really hurt the number of friendships I really had, especially among women. Now that the marriage is over though getting more friends would be nice.
It is work though, like a friendship needs effort put into maintaining and growing it. It was easy in school because you always seen the same people but, outside of school and work it does seem to require finding things to do together which isn't so easy. One of my cisfemale friends goes shopping and jogging with me, one of my cismale friends builds computers with me, obviously there are only so many activities you can attach a friend to though.
I get that. Ive given my number out so many times trying to get new friends but not too many call backs. Ive made a few and try to keep them by not constantly talking about myself and my trials and tribulations and if I look ok and or bla bla bla bla. Id lost a bunch by always talking about me. I ask about them and what's going on in their lives. Everyone has their drama and sometimes for me at least mine becomes paramount. Make friends with yourself, do things for you as it seems you must. Be a friend and care about people and it will happen.
Best wishes
One thing I've found is that everyone is soooooo busy anymore whether working and/or kids. I have a hard time being able to maintain friendships. Maybe I just need too much time alone.
Welcome to Susan's
Is there a bike club near by?
I understand loneliness when growing up and in my 20's.