alright, i can only imagine a thread such as this has been made aplenty before, but give me a chance here.
so, since i came out as trans to my school friends at the age of 14, they both were very accepting and even agreed to do "name trials" with me, meaning i'd tell them which name to call me and if it didn't feel right after a while, we'd try to find something more suitable.
but in the end we never really found a name that felt "right". having gone through so many names and by now having some people know me by a mixture of names, both on and offline, i've become kind of detached to the idea. like, what's my name? i don't know, you tell me! it probably doesn't make any sense, but basically i just can't seem to identify with a name, they all feel "meh" to me.
so, how did you guys choose your names? was it an alternation to your given name? something after family or someone important? randomly?! please offer me your insight!
I chose mine after someone close to me who died. To honour her memory, to live up to all the things I admired about her, and to never forget.
Try to chose a name that has a meaning for you, or if your parents are supportive ask your mom ;)
Well, for me has been an easy task. I simply use the name I chose when I was 4 years old and I presented myself as boy to other kids. It's the same since then and I feel it truly mine :)
(The only thing I don't like of my name is that's a female name everywhere but Italy, so outside Italy I have to translate it in german or I would be misgendered.)
Heh, my biomom told me I would've been named Alexander had I been assigned male at birth, so it was already in my head. I decided on it over a few other names that I found on baby naming websites and such when I was watching a movie where the main character was named "Alex", and decided I liked the way it sounded. The only other names I really considered after that (when I thought I might like to change it) were names of various characters on TV shows, for the same reason- I really liked the way that they sounded, and I wouldn't mind having them for myself. Also, "Alexander" kinda had sentimental meaning to me otherwise, because it was the name of a musician I liked a lot who started going by that name more often after he got off of drugs and kinda reinvented himself as a person and turned his life around- I felt a little like I was doing the same, so it felt right.
I, too, have gone through a plethora of names, trying to find the "right" one. That may be partially because I am still young (in my senior year of high school now), so I'm still indecisive about what I like. :p
Eventually, I chose the name Phoenix because it is a unisex name (so it won't be a huge leap for the people who know me already) but it is also symbolic, meaning that I'm gonna get over this and be better than before :p to make it more masculine, I just cupped it with a masculine middle name, and there ya go. It really fits now.
I ended up choosing a masculine variant of my name, since I really liked my old name. I honestly would've kept it if it was gender neutral.
thank you so far, everyone.
Quote from: Kiwi on July 24, 2014, 03:16:07 PM
Try to chose a name that has a meaning for you, or if your parents are supportive ask your mom ;)
Well, for me has been an easy task. I simply use the name I chose when I was 4 years old and I presented myself as boy to other kids. It's the same since then and I feel it truly mine :)
(The only thing I don't like of my name is that's a female name everywhere but Italy, so outside Italy I have to translate it in german or I would be misgendered.)
ah-ha, i wish! i seem to gravitate to quite a few names as far as meanings go, but if i try to attach them to myself, they feel, idk, forced.
and that's really cool! guess you didn't really have to choose then, you already had an idea! :D
I only settled on my chosen name rather recently after using Isabelle for about a decade. I picked Isabelle for a rather boring reason; I simply liked it far more than any other name on the lists I browsed. After coming out to my mother, I asked for her input and she suggested Anya. Sadly, I didn't think that would ever suit or feel appropriate for me.
After starting the relationship with my partner, I discovered she has totally understandable reasons for strongly disliking Isabelle and would likely be harmed by it. As a result, I had to find a new name because the old one wasn't acceptable when it caused pain.
I quickly narrowed the list down to Morgan, due to the relative neutrality if I end up looking rather androgynous, and Eve, primarily due to developing a liking for names that started with 'E' after people frequently used Elle as a nickname. I felt better about the latter because it's short, simple, relatively unremarkable, and those I trust like it. My appreciation of it has only increased as people started using Evey for affection and since I realised the rather appropriate origin of biblical Eve (despite being an atheist).
In the end, it was a combination of personal preference, feedback from those cherished most, something personally significant to latch on to, and practical considerations that led to my choice.
Anyhoo, good luck to you, Chaotic, if you decide you want to pick a single name and I hope you manage to settle on something that truly feels comfortable for you. If you never feel like using a single name then I hope that brings happiness too.
I chose my first name because I like it, it's simple, and it works well with the name friends and family have called me for years (which is a male Russian diminutive that people who don't know better read as female). I wanted (duh) a name that would be unambiguously male, but I'm OK with keeping the old one as a nickname used by loved ones.
I chose middle and last names that are family names from 2-3 generations back. I discovered, while researching some family history, that there were people in those generations I actually would have liked if I'd known them -- so that feels like a very nice connection.
My legal name was unisex so I didn't feel so dysphoric about it as I would have been if I had a name that was unmistakeably feminine. I had a hard time picking a good name that sounded good so what I did is take some names I liked and started writing them out. At some point, I stumbled upon the name Francesco and thought it sounded nice and so I picked it after writing it out and saying it a few times. However, it doesn't fit with my last name so I picked out a nice Spanish surname that still tied me to my home country.
I've posted this before, but thought it would be an interesting read for some more people that may have not read it. The moral of the story is that the name chooses you. What you think sounds great may not actually be the name meant for you. Let it come naturally and don't rush into anything.
Copyright © 2014 by me.
All rights reserved. This portion of my book may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of me except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.
"It was a warm breezy Halloween many years ago that started off like every other one that came before it. I decided to dress up as a girl like I had previously done so many times before, but this time it was different. For many transsexual women Halloween is the one night of the year we can dress up as ourselves and nobody gives it a second thought. No discrimination, hate, intolerance or prejudice. No, this is our night and it's a time we wait eagerly for so we can go out into the world free from the invective reactions that leaches everything good from us. The weeks prior to Halloween I went everywhere that carried Halloween costumes trying to figure out what I would wear, how I'd do my makeup and where I would spend this splendid night. Would I go to a club? How about trick or treating with my friends and their kids? I knew that sadly as quickly as it came it would be gone again and the harrowing reality that is life would creep forcefully back into my life. What a joke, my life, and a meaningless existence...like a prison sentence, but the harsh realities that surrounded my existence were forced out on this night and thrown passed the Halloween force field erected that protects us if only but for a night.
This Halloween though, I got up extra early that morning so that I could make the most of the day...so I could get out of my prison cell and get some yard time. "Bzzzzzzzz" the alarm clock screeched through the house and I jumped out of bed fully awake, standing on the mattress while starring into the mirror. "Finally!" I thought to myself, "The day is here again!" I had been waiting eagerly for this day to arrive. It was still dark outside and everyone in the house was sleeping, but not me, no, this was my day and I was going to have a great time being me. I then darted out of the bedroom scooping up the bag of Halloween items I had previous purchased and headed straight for the bathroom. It was time to try out my rusty makeup skills, to master the art of enhancing the woman I was.
In the bathroom I stood there for a moment deciding on how I was going to do my makeup. The hard tile flooring was still chilly on my feet and I could feel a slight bitterly cold breeze sneaking it's way through the small opening of the bathroom window. It felt good! I love the cold weather Fall being my favorite time of year because I can bask in the ice filled days littered sporadically with beautifully colored hills and leaves scattered about the roadways. Many see the leaves as a nuisance, but I love them even as they decay into the yard. I wish - almost, that it would last forever with me as it's happy prisoner. Today though, the mirror was my friend and no longer would I avoid it as I starred at the stranger in its reflection. That person would fall away from my reality as if he went into some blackened void sucking his life force to some unknown dimension. I watched happily as he faded away while putting on my concealer; I smirked with pleasure.
Next I carefully applied my foundation, loose powder; then proceeded to do my eyes but hesitated for a moment as I starred deeply into abyss of my hazel retina...loosing myself in it's emptiness. "Who am I?" I thought to myself. "What is my real name?" I said out loud as if it would magically come to me in an epiphany of some kind. I had never gave it any thought over the years until that moment, but after that brief hesitation I went back to finishing my makeup. Five, ten, fifteen minutes later I was finally done. I looked at myself memorizing every millimeter of my face and body. I felt wonderful in a way I couldn't describe. All those other Halloweens were filled with joy as well, but this time it was a different feeling quite aberrant to all the others that came before it. Little did I know that this was the true defining moment in my life. No more would I put my true personality back into those shackles stuffed away for nobody to hear my screams. This was the night I would make myself known and never go back to that prison cell.
My friend and I decided to go to a popular local club that night for some drinks and dancing. Interestingly nobody that knew me actually recognized me and for a moment in all that anonymousness my real self broke through and took a firm hold. I wasn't going away and that other persona knew it. I walked into the crowded club and made my way to an open stool at the bar and ordered a vodka cranberry; my drink of choice. Then suddenly as the bartender put my drink down in front of me someone walked up next to me, and said, "Natalie, what are you doing here?" I turned around and looked at the person with a curious look on my face. "Excuse me?" I said wondering how he could mistake me for someone else. He replied and said, "I am sorry, you look so much like my ex-girlfriend. Do you want to dance with me?"
My name has been Natalie ever since."
I loved the names Cynthia and Rachel.
Cynthia is the name of a childhood friends sister. Both were beautiful but Cynthia had a presence, elegant and confident.
Rachel McLeash was the name of a female body builder I use to follow. I use to lift and wanted to look like her.
thank you, all.
i "heard" mine in a dream, which sounds really dumb but after i started going by it for a bit it felt extremely right.
i think it takes like a month or more of going by a name for it to really feel like it's your name, so don't be too harsh if it doesn't seem to click right away
As far as identifying with a name, you could probably feel that any name is "you" after signing it enough times and having to answer to it everywhere you go. I had probably six months or a year where Felix felt like a street name or something, like it wasn't my "real" name. When I had my documents changed it seemed to make my name click into my head a little better, but I think most of my owning it just happened naturally in the day-to-day doing.
I don't know how to explain how I chose my name. I transitioned at 29, so I had had names bouncing around in my head for years, and each of the runnerups had their own reasons or significance. I actually ruled out some of my favorites for being androgynous. I prefer unisex names, but I'm tired and I wanted something unambiguously male so there would be fewer social grey areas to navigate. Input from loved ones is useful. I let my daughter help narrow down my name options, but the final choice was mine. My middle name is after a person who helped me with my transition process.
I also took my transition as an opportunity to finally take my daughter's last name, which I had postponed for years with various excuses. It's not an ordinary name. The overall effect is more striking than I expected with the relatively pedestrian choices I made for my chosen names, and it attracts more attention than I intended. You do have to keep in mind the rarities of your name components and decide how you feel about how they sound together.
I understand you, I can't find a nice name either... Right now I'm stuck between Sofia or Serena, and I don't really know u_u but I like Marina and Emily too, but Emily is way to common and too anglophone of a name for me.
Just try names a lot and maybe one day you'll find one that fits just right XD
Quote from: Sephirah on July 24, 2014, 03:13:51 PM
I chose mine after someone close to me who died. To honour her memory, to live up to all the things I admired about her, and to never forget.
That is really sweet.
My name is an anagram of my mothers name. I wanted some link back to my family, but not one that was obvious, plus 4 letter names are pretty easy to remember. I picked the name long before my mother died, I do find it unfortunate that I never told her about me, or my name.
I picked mine based off what my mom was going to call me had I been born female. And I really wanted to keep my middle initial, so Justin Michael has become Jennifer Michelle. Jenni or Jen to my friends.
And as for the names picking you, it's actually stuck. Most of my friends call me Jenni now. One friend who was still getting used to the idea and uncomfortable with it, I was staying at her place with her and her husband. Her and her mom were watching a show I wasn't interested in and asked if they'd let me know when it was over, then went to playing on my phone. According to her mom (who has been calling me Jenni since I told her), my friend kept saying Justin over and over and it wasn't until she said Jenni that I responded. I didn't know I myself had gotten used to the name so quickly.
yeah, i went through a lot of different names as well. one came from an inside joke with friends, and one came with someone mistaking me for a guy with that name
I got my name from 2 places, both sillyish
1. I used to love the Dragon Tails TV show as a kid, and my favorite character was a two headed dragon named Zack and Wheezy....So I used the Male one.
2. My best friend when I was very little never treated me like a girl, at least not until we got a little older and his friends started teasing him for hanging out with me. His name was Zachary, so I kinda did a tribute to him as well.
Names are really hard, I will admit that I have gone through tons, but it just has to feel right. One of the things I do is call myself by my new name over and over again in my head, like a kid trying to get your attention, to see if I'll enjoy it after 50 times or more. It helps XD.
My name absolutely had to have meaning to me. My given name was the name of my mom's best friend when she was 16, and while it's a fine name it never resonated with me, and my full birth name is just a phonetic disaster. So, I decided I wanted a name that was androgynous with a meaning that best fit who I am. "Arin" is an alternative spelling to "Aaron" or "Erin", and means two different things depending on the geography. One meaning is simply "Ireland", and the other is "light-bringer". The surname just had to flow with it and also be unisex. So I think Arin Laurie flows off the tongue nicely, it sounds feminine, and yet defies gender. Perfect.
For me at first I liked Sofidia. As time went on I felt like it didn't connect with me or I didn't connect with it. Also I wanted to keep my same initials and Sofidia doesn't fit.
I also wanted to honor what my parents have named me and pick something that does speak to me. So I ended up with Marcia as a first name. For my middle name I did kinda liked
Sofidia but didn't think it fit with Marcia so I shortened it to Sofia. So now I will be Marcia Sofia.
Also the meaning of the names works with each other as Marcia means of mars ( which is what my given name meant) and the letters Sofia stand for "Stratospheric Observatory for Infrared Astronomy".
So that is how I came up with my name.