I have a son who I gave birth to. Does anyone have advice on how to make this transition with him? He's more than okay with me transitioning, but I worry about him losing his "Mommy". Any thoughts? Or similar experiences?
Yeh, I have two bio kids. One just turnend 5, and the other is 3 and a half.
The way I see it, they're not loosing Mommy, Mommy is still here, but Mommy's name is changed. It's still me, still you, just a change of name, because you're still there and love them and such ^.^
Thanks Rawb. =)
I also have a son who I gave birth to. He's not losing his mom because the fact that I am his parent has not changed. The only thing that's changed is I am happier and am therefore better equipped to be a better parent.
It's not the title that's important. They need someone to care for them and provide for their needs, that person doesn't need to be a "mommy" (or daddy) per se. Consider all the gay couples with happy and well-adjusted children, same for single parents.
This article is extremely relevant, it's by a single parent trans man.
http://shma.com/2014/06/mom-dad-and-dad-mom-transgender-parents-and-our-children/
Kids figure things out really quickly and you'll be surprised at how much they understand even without our help. My son is turning sixteen this year and when I told him that I am trans he snickered and told me 'well duh' and that he's always seen me as the male figure in our home. That though I was his mom I was really like his dad at the same time too. I think what really matters is that being happy with oneself makes it so much easier to communicate and care for the family and the children benefit from having that energy around them.
That was an awesome article thanks.
I have two kids, 5&7. I realized a few weeks ago that it would not be helpful to them and could potentially be dangerous to all of us to have only them using female pronouns and the title Mommy. They totally understand the transition, and the 5yo picked it up better than the 7 yo. They are getting better at it, and it is going to take a little time, as it will for everyone. It's a shift. But it is an okay one to ask for, from anybody.
I have a few, but they are much older. Most took it well enough. I just wish I could have gone through it with them when they were so much younger. In some ways, I'm glad I didn't.
Im sorry if my answer is unwanted as Im on the other end of the spectrum but I am a parent of six. I had three out before I changed and they dont want much to do with me but the three here love me and I am still dad to them. I think that the reaction from the first three show poor parenting by us as before this happened to me I /we were judgemental and condescending to people different frim us. These three are just great little people. My son 13 says, I like your hair dad, my daughter15 will roll her eyes in disapproval if Im wearing something not quite right and laugh with me ad my little girl 9 just melts into my arms.