Would this be considered Female Etiquette 101?
If I met my brother (who I haven't seen in a year) and presenting as the new me, how would you greet them if you're on good terms? Should there be a kiss involved?
What about friend gals? Is it the "ahhhhHHH!!! so-happy-to-see-you!!!!" shaking your hands with wobbly knees like *:D* followed by a hug? I think I've seen it on TV. ???
Other men, eh, a hand shake would suffice thank you very much.
I think part of being fem is to be more touchy feely. So how do you meet, greet and depart friends, acquaintances and loved ones?
Personally, Ive always loved hugs. I'm originally from an area where people just don't touch at all, so that's being extremely touchy feely for me.
I have trouble with this tricky gendered etiquette too and, like Eevee, I tend to hug, which is more North American than the double cheek touch air kiss or the actual kiss. Hand shakes tend to be for first time meetings in a more professional way. New social friends usually get the sweet wave and smile. But I have to say that among family and friends I don't know if there's enough uniformity to make someone seem out of place if she chooses any of these.
On a related note, when it comes to greeting my gf's, I hate that the custom is basically the very high pitched and sliding "Heeeeyyyyyy." Despite having a passing and serviceable voice, I don't have access to that really high register. As I look older, it won't matter so much, but I still have good friends who in the their 30's still practice this greeting.
So far, I have let the person I am out to pick it- careful to offer my hand shake quickly if males pause a touch too long.
I caught up with a straight male friend friday who went directly for the accepted female friend hug. It was so respectful and pleasing.
If it's your brother, ask via email which would be comfortable for him.
I'm more for hugs and handshakes.
When presenting as female and hanging out with other cross dressers and transfolk, we just shake hands.
I think this is cultural or perhaps even subcultural. In my group of friends women are hugged and only give hugs unless there is some weirdness like an ex. Men hug girls and shake the hands of other men. No one in my circle kisses on the cheek or anything like that.
When men are really close in my circle there may be the handshake into one Armed hug thing occasionally, and if someone is sitting down or otherwise encumbered and the other person is in a hurry a fist bump can happen. Also fist bumps happen when someone does or says something really cool occasionally.
Actually, I feel kind of subversive about all that.
I've gotten in the habit of going in for a hug (and a kiss if I dare) when greeting men who used to know me as male.
It's kind of fun to see whether they recoil (most do) or reciprocate wholeheartedly.
I imagine I might be helping the confront their gender preconceptions, but I'm probably just being annoying.
As an Italian, I always hug, kiss my friends and family and shake hand if it is someone I might not know.
Shake men's hands, hug women that I know, hug cheek kiss women friends.
I'm a hugger
Quote from: suzifrommd on July 26, 2014, 08:12:05 AM
Actually, I feel kind of subversive about all that.
I've gotten in the habit of going in for a hug (and a kiss if I dare) when greeting men who used to know me as male.
It's kind of fun to see whether they recoil (most do) or reciprocate wholeheartedly.
I imagine I might be helping the confront their gender preconceptions, but I'm probably just being annoying.
Have I told you lately that you are awesome :) I am not that sorta brave myself, but I find this great.
Quote from: stephaniec on July 26, 2014, 10:04:51 AM
I'm a hugger
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi58.tinypic.com%2Fxpyno2.jpg&hash=eca8f5459dc6fb595a13a0d671ee050e5390fe75) me too
Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 26, 2014, 06:20:46 AM
I have trouble with this tricky gendered etiquette too and, like Eevee, I tend to hug, which is more North American than the double cheek touch air kiss or the actual kiss. Hand shakes tend to be for first time meetings in a more professional way. New social friends usually get the sweet wave and smile. But I have to say that among family and friends I don't know if there's enough uniformity to make someone seem out of place if she chooses any of these.
On a related note, when it comes to greeting my gf's, I hate that the custom is basically the very high pitched and sliding "Heeeeyyyyyy." Despite having a passing and serviceable voice, I don't have access to that really high register. As I look older, it won't matter so much, but I still have good friends who in the their 30's still practice this greeting.
Isn't the double cheek then air kiss a British thing?
I'm thinking with my brother I would just greet "hai! long time no see, you look great. Yeah I lost a little weight, grew my hair out. So w0ts the Mrs. cookin?"
No hugs.
Just hope he doesn't make me feel awkard by staring or asking who I was. ^-^
Quote from: StevieAK on July 26, 2014, 09:21:05 AM
Shake men's hands, hug women that I know, hug cheek kiss women friends.
That's seems so foreign to me, hugging women that you know, or the hug cheek kiss with women friends.
I've never had close women friends. Things where a bit more black and white as a male. Boyfriend | Girlfriend
The women where just acquaintances, you know what they say about men, can't realistically be friends with women. So I have a lot old habits to relearn.
Definately a hug. Women hug women and guys or give guys a weak handshake definatley not as strong as theirs though.
Yeah or the fist bump or the five "Yo wassup homie cha, too slow don't think so..."
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 04:45:35 PM
Yeah or the fist bump or the five "Yo wassup homie cha, too slow don't think so..."
Yeah, I think I wouldn't really do that as a woman. If I don't know the guy I will give a handshake but not near as stong as his. If I know him I will hug him. If it is another woman I wll hug her. "Yo wassup homie cha, too slow don't think so..." that might definatley get you clocked.
Oh I meant what men may say when informally greeting each other. ;D
Quote from: Evelyn K on July 26, 2014, 05:00:24 PM
Oh I meant what men may say when informally greeting each other. ;D
OK Evelyn, you had me confuzzed there. But even most men just shake hands unless they are OCD, but male family member can hug without the tabooness of male huggening. So I would say your brother give a hug to and if he knows your trans status a quick peck on the cheek. :)
Hugs and cheek kisses for female friends and female family. Depending on the situation, hugs for female colleagues (like at farewells, Xmas, etc). Hugs and cheek kisses for very close male friends. Hugs for some male friends. Handshakes for all the rest.