Any MtFs or FtMs out there also have the experience of telling people that you're trans and they assume you're transitioning in the other direction? It's happened to me a few times and I always find it mildly amusing. Like, last night, I was talking to this guy and said "full disclosure here- I'm transgender" as part of a conversation, and he said "man" a few seconds later and then said "oh, sorry! I really don't mean to offend anyone, I have a hard time keeping track of how I speak" like.. you can call me man, I am, in fact, a man. Anyone else have this happen?
Yup, a few times
Yes, actually-I was with a new hairdresser, and I was wearing this very dapper suit jacket-I looked gloriously andorgyous-and he asked me for my name. I told him, and then he asked me how long I had known that I wanted to be male, and what I was changing my name too. It was one of the happiest moments of my transition so far.
The same thing came up with someone I had been chatting with on OkCupid...apparently I was passing in my profile picture and I mentioned being dysphoric, and he asked if I identified as trans. I'm fairly sure he thought I meant I was transitioning to male, although I cleared things up and he didn't really let on that he had assumed the opposite. This is all very odd because I very rarely pass.
This certainly has happened to me. I'm MTF, but when I first attended the local trans group, the FTM's thought I was one of them.
I live in a college town and once when I met a group of college girls, one of them shouted "He's a lesbian".
I don't dress feminine and look pretty much like a guy-dyke.
Yes. I've been told that "chopping [my] dick off" doesn't make me a woman, and I've been complimented on my soft skin by people who thought that's what I wanted. :laugh:
I went to a coming out group just so I could be around other LGBT people, although I was the only trans person there. I mentioned I was transitioning, and some (gorgeous) lesbians thought I was FTM. ;D
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on July 27, 2014, 11:34:42 PM
He asked me for my name. I told him, and then he asked me how long I had known that I wanted to be male, and what I was changing my name too. It was one of the happiest moments of my transition so far.
Honestly, the first time I saw your profile pic (I think it was your previous one), I assumed you were assigned female. You just have a really beautiful/naturally androgynous face.
QuoteHonestly, the first time I saw your profile pic (I think it was your previous one), I assumed you were assigned female. You just have a really beautiful/naturally androgynous face.
Oh my god, thank you so much, you just made my evening!
Yes. This happens a lot. I think because a lot of people are much more aware of MTFs and not as aware of FTMs.
The most recent one I can think of is I had some bladder infection or something (haha) I had to go to a walk in clinic, and he was like "oh ok I just have to check the penis.." I was like "uh.. That's not necessary... :P I'm transgender, and don't exactly have one." Then he was like, "Oh, that's completely fine. So you have a vagina then?" I was like, "yes." Then he says "oh, so you had it surgically constructed?" :P
It took a while for him to get it that it was the other way around, but I think he still didn't believe me at the end cause he still explained to me why he would've had to check my "dick". HAHAHAHAHAHA Needless to say, I left there laughing.
Quote from: pianoforte on July 30, 2014, 11:03:38 PM
Honestly, the first time I saw your profile pic (I think it was your previous one), I assumed you were assigned female. You just have a really beautiful/naturally androgynous face.
Lol I thought the same thing! Well, that and I was jelly for some hair like that :p
Yeah, I had one guy, who lived on my block in N. Philly, and I eventually became friends with, who swore up and down that I was FAAB and transitioning to be a guy, but still looked too feminine to pass as one and that everyone knew I was a girl. He was pretty respectful and called me dude and bro and everything considering he thought I was FTM. It took a bit off convincing to prove to him otherwise. I'm not sure he ever believed I wasn't FAAB according to my BF. And another time while presenting male, pretty much everytime, people whisper that's really a girl.
Ironically, I don't think I pass well if I wear too much makeup. I just need to do something about my hair...ugh...ugh...ugh...why do I keep cutting it.
I think the bit about makeup applies to all of us-there are certain things that people look for when they're "trans-spotting", and the stereotypical "drag queen" look is one of them. Warm-toned lipsticks, overly large lashes, and smokey eye looks give us a way in an instant. Cool toned (pink, burgandy, and purple) lipsticks, matte foundation with only basic highlighting, and natural eye looks generally give you a huge edge when it comes to passing. Here's the key: People are not expecting to see an transgender person, so if passing is your main goal, you need to defy those expectations. Which is why I wear purple lipstick every day.
Hair sucks. Mine especially! I will never be able to have long, feminine hair-it's a vastly overrated thing, long hair, but still...I'm not doing my bone structure any favors with this style.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on July 31, 2014, 03:35:32 PM
Hair sucks. Mine especially! I will never be able to have long, feminine hair-it's a vastly overrated thing, long hair, but still...I'm not doing my bone structure any favors with this style.
But, your hair has so much body, so much curl, it looks great! Perhaps it is a simple scenario of the grass being greener, IDK. Mine isn't straight enough to do straight styles and isn't curly enough to do curly styles. Granted I love my hair, but at times I think it would be really nice to have curly hair with tons of body or maybe even straight hair.
Hikari hon,
You really have amazing hair! All you need is the right product-some curling cream will solve all of your problems. See, my hair is great short, but as it gets longer it turns into a TOXIC CURLY MASS OF DOOM. I just wish I could get away with something a little bit more "fem", you know? Right now, it's just not an option-not to mention how stupid I look when my back and sides get too long!
Yes, when I came out to my new family doctor (our first time meeting), I had the intention of getting on hormones. He was like..."so you want to transition from male to female right"? I was all "nonononono female to male," getting more estrogen in my system would have really been a problem. xD
It really made my day though.
Yep. A young trans woman and her mother started coming to the local support group recently. Her mom thought I was another young MTF. Funny thing, I thought her daughter was FTM at first, so it was mistaken identities all around.
I have once, when I was in a trans space (it was more an innuendo/assumption than blatant), but it's because mainly trans women occupy it and they're in various stages of their transition. I really think it was nice of him to be very aware of not only that you could be transitioning the other way (which says a lot on how well you pass), but also that he doesn't necessarily think before he speaks. Many people aren't that self-reflective, especially aloud.
Many people aren't aware of FTMs because of the lack of visibility and the fetishization of MTFs because of porn, Jerry Spring (here in the US), etc. So I'm not too surprised that he assumed you were male transitioning the other way. I wonder if he'd have thought a post-transition female was going the other way or that she was trans as she was? Hmmm. But yeah, it's been alluded to. I've stopped being obsessed with pronouns because I know that who I am and how others see me aren't necessarily synonymous. But yes, things like this (when not in danger) are amusing. Lol.
I've been told that I look like I'm transitioning to female when I am actually going the other way.