Hello my name is Gethin X-tasis. I am a pagan minister if any need council or guidance and I am new to this web site. I am seeking like minded people to align myself with and learn from. I new all my life I was different, in those days I was simply called "Tomboy" there was no information on people like me. I have lived my life in an overly southern Baptists part of the U.S. In so, was lost mentally and emotionally entirely as to who or what I was. Then one day I found some articles on my plight. Feeling male but being trapped in this horrid form which I hate so much. I had to leave my ex husband because he could not accept the "death" of his wife (as he put it.) I moved to another state and was living with my best friend and trans girlfriend. Then moved again to be with the man I am with now who accepts and even loves me as the Gay Male I am. Yet, sees me as the best of both words both male and female. It's very frustrating. I call myself a "Tromosexual." or Transgender homosexual. Feel free to use my term if you yourself are a male who is with another male. I had started living as a male in 2008 and it was blissful and so very confusing. It was nice that people took me seriously and not saw me as a pair of tits or just a vagina. I had confidence and self love for once. Then I moved here to Las Vegas, and was met with much disrespect over my crises by my husbands family. Me and my Girlfriend at the time were told we were not allowed to practice being FTM or MTF while living under my hubby's parents roof because of their daycare. I get that. They did not want us confusing or (mostly) influencing tg behavior in the kids. I did my best to put myself back in the tg closet, unlike my GF at the time who bravely refused to be anything but her self. Sadly was thrown out for it. Me and hubby now got married in a normal cis gender wedding (boring and disappointing) to appease his family and mine. Sadly, I asked my gay sister in law, if it would be alright to be a male in the house now. I was told this. "I don't think it is a good idea, my father has already had two heart attacks do you really want to cause him to have another one?" I thought on this. So, being gay in the house with the day care there is alright. My sister in laws half daughter is dating a FTM and that is okay. He is allowed over as a male and can grope on his GF in front of the day care kids and no one cares. Yet, me (The favorite sister in law) being a male myself will kill her father because his son would therefore be gay. O_O WTF? So, for four years now I have been hiding myself, losing my will to live and even try, and my confidence level is so low that even trying to pass as male seems laughable at this point. I am now livnig in a place where I am accepted as the male I am but at a total loss as to what to do next. I want to move forward but now I am so afraid to I am so afraid I will do this and hate myself. I feel that they have some how poisoned my mind to the idea of who I was. Transitioning means losing my families. I am okay with that, being an introverted loner. Just, I can' take much more isolation and having no friends what so ever, it is very lonely. I am sick of the LGB (lets face it we are pretty much left out) community telling me I am confused, I am just a lesbian and the Cis people telling me I am an abomination or a waste of good a woman and that I needs to have a couple of kids to make myself more valuable as a woman. I am so sick of it. I guess I am here for answers and support. I am all alone and afraid. I know who I am but others can't see it. Even now they still call me she. It's like a dagger to the heart. I HAVE clearly stated I am not a she. So, if you care to be my friend or have any advice or a friendly words. My ears, mind and heart are opened for you. I have even been know to give the the occasional hug. Just don't tell anyone. I don't want to soil my elitist reputation. (LOL) Be well my TG brethren and sisterhood. I stand in the shadow waiting. Blessed be.
Welcome Gethinx,
There is always room for another Tromosexual. Hmm have to remember that.
I am married to ftm so i understand also that side of our coin.
Wish families just would love there children for being human.
Check out the site terms here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html
Feel free to ask anyone here questions.
Hi Gethinx :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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Hugs
V M
Well thank you everyone, I will read the rules when I have a bit more time ^_^ *huggles*
Welcome dear *hug*, hope youre having a good time with the new bf ;)
About the biblical references about female-to-male...sounds more like the belief men had( some still have) that women are inferior creatures who lacked what a man has. Just the twisted self-centered outlook men had for a very long time
The bible is a "By Straight Men, for Straight Men" book in my opinion
I had tried to move the religious part after reading the rules. Sorry if it did not take. Thank you for reading. ^_^