I'm absolutely terrible with introductions and talking about myself, but here goes!
I'm Nicky, although twistyprince is currently my main username online. I basically live on the internet.
I stumbled upon this forum looking up bits and pieces in order to help myself with asking my doctors for a referral to the gender clinic near to me (I'm absolutely terrible with doctors, I have to have all the help i can get when I need an appointment for ANYTHING).
When I was younger, I never really felt....girly? I guess, being made to wear a dress for school literally made me burst into tears at one point because I felt so distressed by being in it. I've only really over the past few years truly realized that I am transgender. I did at one point wonder if i was genderqueer, but I eventually realized that I just totally feel comfortable as male more than anything.
Something that pretty much helped me to come to terms with myself is cosplay; a hobby where I create costumes to do with japanese anime, manga, popular media, basically anything with a character in it that I like. As I only really cosplay males, it seriously helped me come to terms with how I felt about my gender more than anything, as I can basically become male through costume, until I transition. Not only that, but a lot of the community in cosplaying/anime/etc has a lot of people who are trans etc etc, which has also brought me friends, and people who are going through the same thing as me.
Currently, I'm pretty early in actually transitioning. as I mentioned, i'm currently going to be asking for a referral to a gender clinic that I was told about, thankfully living in the UK, unless I go private, I won't have any costs....as I am living at home, with no job right now.
I haven't told my family as of yet....there being a main reason which is my dad. He has a very...unpredictable temprament, he can be fine one moment and then angry the next, so I have no idea if telling him will basically cause him to erupt at me or not. (Although I am looking at trying to move out when I have the money...so if I can move out, I won't be so afraid to tell him,. all in all.) My mum isn't so bad, I'm just bad at....expressing things or telling her stuff like this. I've had one therapy session last year to do with depression that I was referred to, and I couldn't tell her about it even thought she drove me to and from it.
I also have a huge problem with correcting people if they call me the wrong gender...as it is, I currently look hugely female no matter what I do, and although I'm slowly overcoming that, it's still a pretty hard thing. (I get very paranoid that if I correct people they'll try to argue with me, and i'm just very, very bad with confrontation on the whole.)
My friends fully know :), and they are very supportive of me, as well as my current girlfriend who i've been with for a year the 28th of july just gone~ She said she'd pretty much love me no matter what, and I'm pretty much hoping to marry her once I've transitioned and gotten my name/gender changed etc. (I've already proposed and she said yes ^^ )
Hi Nicky :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
A big warm welcome Nicky!! :)
Hi Nicky, welcome to Susan's! Telling the family can certainly be a tricky and touchy experience. Sounds like you have your dad's measure and having a safe living environment before telling him sounds like a smart move. All the best, look forward to seeing you around the forum!