I feel that recently ive realised that ive reached a point in which I cant go back to living as a male!
I feel ive made a life for myself as a girl, and im now so content that the thought of going back is unthinkable!! This is the first time ive ever felt this way!! I just feel now that I have to push on with my transition and the next step is now to get a job and then I can be zoe 24/7!!!
Have any of you reached a point in which you felt that going back wasnt an option? At which point in your transition did that occur?
For me i feel that now ive achieved some social acceptence and I have freinds who know me as zoe and see me as a woman, ive just realised how much more comfortable I am as a woman! There is now no going back for me, and thats such a good feeling :)
Xx
Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on August 09, 2014, 03:54:48 PM
Have any of you reached a point in which you felt that going back wasnt an option!! At which point in your transition did that occur?
Oh most definitely!! 6 months after I went full time I would actually have moments I forgot I was trans. There is now no way in heck I would go back to who I was before. I am serious. I would turn down money, vacation homes or anything else thrown at me to stay this way. I can't even conceive how I would live as before. Too horrible to even contemplate. :)
It was pretty much all over for me as soon as I was more comfortable going out in women's attire than I was in men's, so I stopped wearing those things altogether.
There's no going back for me now. I'm closing in on five months being full time and I expect at the six month mark, like Jessica, it will be a cemented in reality for me. I do have a job so that helps with the daily routine and interaction and, once you've secured work for yourself, it really helps immerse yourself in your gender identity.
Quote from: Ms Grace on August 09, 2014, 04:22:26 PM
There's no going back for me now. I'm closing in on five months being full time and I expect at the six month mark, like Jessica, it will be a cemented in reality for me. I do have a job so that helps with the daily routine and interaction and, once you've secured work for yourself, it really helps immerse yourself in your gender identity.
yea getting a job in which I can be zoe is the next big step for me I think :) after living part time for 9 months, it will be so amazing to be in a position where I can be zoe 24/7 :) x
Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on August 09, 2014, 03:54:48 PM
Have any of you reached a point in which you felt that going back wasnt an option? At which point in your transition did that occur?
I joined an all-women feminist reading group shortly after I started going out as Suzi (don't worry, they were trans-inclusive and welcomed me with perfect decorum). Every time I left the sisterhood of that all-female space and was forced to return to my male existence, I realized I could never be happy remaining male.
In the big picture sense, my point of no return was the moment I finally accepted myself after a decade of running from it. I decided that I had nothing left to lose and it was time to see where it would take me.
In the more practical sense, I often have a laugh imagining what it would take to pass as male.
I would have to hide my hair under a big cowboy hat.
I would have to buy a big cowboy hat.
I would have to bind my chest and wear big baggy shirts.
I would have to trade my Prius for a big penis truck.
After all that, my voice would still give me away. Every time I try to lower my voice into the male range, I collapse into giggles after 2 seconds and always feel like Austin Powers saying "how does that feel baby"
Quote from: Juliett on August 09, 2014, 05:43:13 PM
In the big picture sense, my point of no return was the moment I finally accepted myself after a decade of running from it. I decided that I had nothing left to lose and it was time to see where it would take me.
In the more practical sense, I often have a laugh imagining what it would take to pass as male.
I would have to hide my hair under a big cowboy hat.
I would have to buy a big cowboy hat.
I would have to bind my chest and wear big baggy shirts.
I would have to trade my Prius for a big penis truck.
After all that, my voice would still give me away. Every time I try to lower my voice into the male range, I collapse into giggles after 2 seconds and always feel like Austin Powers saying "how does that feel baby"
OK, I just spewed sparkling water all over my monitor.
From my wife's observation, the bigger the truck, the smaller the junk. I always thought a perfect vanity plate for a jacked-up monster truck would read "CMPNS8R".
Oh goodness! I started living part time enfemme at age 14 and was still part time until SRS at 24. The "point of no return" would have been when I found out surgery was POSSIBLE, about age 14 when I heard of Christine Jorgensen.
I started on hormone replacement therapy in March 2013. My "point of no return" started in November of 2013 after I became incapable of passing as male. I started getting called "ma'am" at the grocery store so that's when I started living full time :)
It really is such a good feeling - so glad for you that you got there!
For me it was about 4 months on HRT (and 11 months since I started transition), and it was in fact the moment I considered my transition effectively finished. :) That was when I came out at work.
The point of no return for me probably came when I started getting consistently gendered correctly, only about 2 months ago.
In hindsight though, I think from the moment I began therapy in earnest I was already too far gone to consider turning back, even if I balked at moving forward sometimes.
I can't go back to living as a man now. I would rather undergo some kind of barbaric execution, like being devoured by lions or burned at the stake, than to try to be male again.
Quote from: Rose City Rose on August 09, 2014, 07:42:35 PM
I can't go back to living as a man now. I would rather undergo some kind of barbaric execution, like being devoured by lions or burned at the stake, than to try to be male again.
You got that one right, sis! We'll just say being a guy wasn't for me in the slightest. It's such a relief to know that I couldn't ever go back now no matter what.
well, about 6 months in I got sick from the flu and told my therapist I was quitting because I was at the stage I need surgery to get rid of my breasts, My therapist had me think about it and realized it be a bigger mistake to quit.
Quote from: Zoe Louise Taylor on August 09, 2014, 03:54:48 PM
Have any of you reached a point in which you felt that going back wasn't an option? At which point in your transition did that occur?
Once I popped my first HRT meds.
My moment was the day I moved south to move into my new apartment and start Monday as Isabell. It was then I never would ever go back to the pain of hiding my true self again.
During my first year and a half or so I did feel like as if this was some sort of an experiment at times. After being totally accepted as a woman and accepting it myself! I never have this thought! There are actually times that I feel unfortunate being a woman, this comes from being treated like I am so stupid, but it doesn't lead me to wishing I was a man again. Its more the same feeling many woman get, and that is to just ignore the bs and move forward.
As far as portraying a man again.....it wouldn't be that hard. I don't care how passable a trans is, anyone including cis woman could pull off being a man. Just look at some of the hunky FTM brothers. Some of them started where I would love to finish. Just stop the HRT and things would change. Ya I may look a little more feminine, but because I once had that T running through my body it wouldn't be that difficult to assimilate "him" again. But why the hell would I want too!!
Quote from: Just Shelly on August 09, 2014, 09:15:34 PM
Ya I may look a little more feminine, but because I once had that T running through my body it wouldn't be that difficult to assimilate "him" again.
Well, in my case, there would be very little T being put out compared to before. Kind of hard to go back to the same level when you lack testicles.
For me the point where I knew there was no going back was when I learned that my body was never able to produce reproductive genetic material, just put everything into perspective and I realized I was never meant to live life as a man.
Interesting. When was the point? I slowly, deliberately and methodically destroyed every single bridge that I could use to go back to him.
I think in retrospect it was when I decided to do that.
There is nothing and no one to go back too.
I think it was when my wife told me about six weeks into HRT that if I ever stopped, she would kill me because I was such a drastically better person.
Quote from: Cindy on August 10, 2014, 03:28:11 AM
Interesting. When was the point? I slowly, deliberately and methodically destroyed every single bridge that I could use to go back to him.
I think in retrospect it was when I decided to do that.
There is nothing and no one to go back too.
This I how I feel things are going for me at the moment!! I feel that ive subconsciously decided to drift away from certain people and freinds!! Its quite sad in a way, but I dont want to have to spend much time as a boy anymore!!
The group of freinds I have come out to have been very accepting and just seem to see me as any other woman!! Its so good that they have been accepting of me :) and also ive made freinds in dance classes and stuff :)
So like you I feel that ive gotten to the point where id have very few people to go back to if I were to stop now :/ and also I like having freinds who know me as zoe :)
xx
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on August 09, 2014, 08:19:54 PM
Once I popped my first HRT meds.
Ditto.
That weekend and everyday since, I couldn't believe how good I felt. I knew then that there was no going back.
I'd be on E till I die.
If we're talking building a new female life? Then I'm not sure I'm at that point yet. March 2014 started HRT. Am passing now.
Should be transitioned at work in October. Maybe soon after that?
It was the moment when I was sitting on the therapists couch and I told her that I wanted to move up to a transitioning level dose of HRT. She had me think about it until the next appointment, and warned me that there would be no quitting if I decided to make that move. I came back a month later with the same request, knowing full well what was about to happen with my life and with my 27 year marriage.
Quote from: Tori on August 10, 2014, 03:32:09 AM
I think it was when my wife told me about six weeks into HRT that if I ever stopped, she would kill me because I was such a drastically better person.
That is beyond awesome, Tori. My wife doesn't want to see the likes of "him" ever again for the same reason. She also digs the "new girl smell". I guess I did sort of used to be a moody, angry a*hole.
Quote from: Jill F on August 10, 2014, 01:39:05 PM
That is beyond awesome, Tori. My wife doesn't want to see the likes of "him" ever again for the same reason. She also digs the "new girl smell". I guess I did sort of used to be a moody, angry a*hole.
My fiance definitely prefers me on E to T. I think our relationship has gotten better since I decided to transition which has definitely helped me along.
Another great thought provoking thread. Like some I knew clearly when i finally accepted myself as transgender. Perhaps because of waiting so long, I went full time, pre everything, soon after. Feeling my inner girl and giving up on trying to be a man was a mix of joy and relief. My life has continued to brighten since then. It was with a profound, lightning striking certainty I knew there was no going back into that straight jacket again. Like Cindy i methodically cut that act loose and have nothing go back too and don't miss any of it. Like Tori, Jill and Rose my wife and many others like Tessa much better and will occasionally tease me about acting like "him" if they want to make a point about acting like an a**hole.
Nothing unique, I too feel levels of euphoria and contentment about being on E to the final curtain.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on August 11, 2014, 04:55:47 AM
For me that point will come when I will be kicked out from male WC. Dont really see that happening anytime soon :P
I might happen sooner than you think. I was caught by surprise when it happened to me and I thought the entire world must be blind.
My point of no return was when I came out to everyone. I would not have told them unless I was sure and once I did tell them I was fully committed to the process. I have no regrets at all and I will never go back. I was emotionally numb and (to some extent) physically numb as well.
Quote from: Tori on August 10, 2014, 03:32:09 AM
I think it was when my wife told me about six weeks into HRT that if I ever stopped, she would kill me because I was such a drastically better person.
Congrats!!
I have had a number of people say similar things. Even my friend of 30 years said he prefers me as I am now and he always regarded me as the older brother he never had. (He already has an older siste he does not get on too well with so maybe there is a role for me there!)
I'm the dark haired girl in my avatar pic.
I'm in the same boatas you maybe, idk. Am thinking of going drag at the local gay club here lol.
But prolly not
Last November and kind of on a whim, I stopped into the District Court, filled out the paperwork, sat around for a few hours until my docket ticket came up, and legally became Julie Anne Blair. At that point I felt all in and the rest was details.
Can you spell naive? Seems that there are a lot of details. Some of which are still being sorted out.
Julie is a work of growth and a work in progress, whose birthday extends from that day in court, and whose adolescence continues unabated. ;)
j
Quote from: Jill F on August 09, 2014, 05:52:15 PM
OK, I just spewed sparkling water all over my monitor.
From my wife's observation, the bigger the truck, the smaller the junk. I always thought a perfect vanity plate for a jacked-up monster truck would read "CMPNS8R".
I love that! I had "NOS482" on my Harley. Hope to get it again for the next one. Can't wait to buy women's leathers!
I reached the point of no return six months after I realized I might be trans on the day I came out to my wife. No way to take that back even though I present as male and won't start HRT until next month at the earliest.
I'm not full time yet (what I call 90% time or 95% time) but I knew on the day I told my spouse that I needed to transition there was no turning back. And strangely enough, she and my sons made that decision even more solid by their actions towards me subsequently. When they were done, there was no "him" left to return to.
I don't know if I have hit a point of no return yet, but as soon as I found out how accepting all of my friends any family would be, I can't think of a reason why I would want to go back. Hopefully I'll hit that point of no return officially sooner than I think.