This is sort of a funny but true story that happened today, I figured I would share it. I wrote it earlier so am basically just pasting it here. It is quite long lol, I tend to do that, type too much, if you know me you probably know this by now.
Anyways, I think I needed to add a little introduction before I start, so here it is.
So I had been wanting to and also kinda feeling pressured to go shopping for makeup and clothing of late but doing it alone, by myself, almost unmistakeably viewed by all as a guy, was way to scary to even comprehend, let alone doing. To try to do this I had been asking others, people from the group I go to, to come out with me, show me the ropes, teach me a bit and make it less terrifying for me and obvious to others that I was shopping for myself.
Anyways, I had asked this particular person to help me a few weeks ago and she said sure and we scheduled a day to do it. I was excited and of course scared about it, but was really looking forward to it nonetheless. Well, on said day I was working, we were gonna do it afterwards, and just as I was about to leave work I get a text from her saying that she couldn't do it that day, had to do something for work instead, and I was crushed.
I basically gave up hope on her, figured she just didn't wanna do it with me, help me, and it made me feel really down, really rejected, like nobody wanted to be friends with me; I'm just unlikeable. I wasn't gonna ask again, I am weird like that, but for some odd reason, I did, I don't know why, didn't think about it but I did and she said we could try again soon.
I talked to her on Thursday, she actually texted me first cause I sort of forgot to ask her about it again lol, and she said she thinks she can still could do it this weekend. She said she thinks she had a few hours free on Saturday to do it, which is perfect for me, is my off-day, and everything is open on Saturday. I wasn't really all that optimistic though, I mean she did sorta leave me hanging the last time, so I definitely had my doubts about it this time, made sure I didn't get all excited about it like before.
Here's what happened today (Saturday):
This morning, (Saturday) I get a text from her around 11:00 am, I didn't wake up till 10:30, mhhmmm sleep is good!, and it said she was free all day until 4 pm and we can meet up and go whenevers! :D I was like omg omg omg, yay! and at the same time omg omg omg freaking out cuz it is scary, so many unknowns, unfamiliar things, and that tends to freak me out. I don't know her all that much, only met her 2x at group and texted a bit with her and I'm not very familiar with her city/area and well, shopping for makeup and women's clothes is still super scary seeing as how I am still definitely pretty manly looking. I mean, I have only done that online or at a (sorry for this word but idk how else to say it) drag store and being that I am used to hiding this stuff, it just makes it very very hard to do it I guess out in the open.
She asked me to meet her at her apartment, which is like 40 minutes away from mine, so I left shortly after her text, skipping my shower and shave which I need and wanted and food, and got there like around 12:30. I get there after looking for the place, stupid gps why didn't you lead me RIGHT there instead of only really close >:( , I text her saying I am here I think, and I look at my phone waiting for a reply. Like a minute passes and I look up and see her walking towards me and like jump up startled lol, planned on taking a bit to clear my thoughts and gather some courage but nope didn't happen lol!
So we go up to her place and it is really nice (that bitch!(jealousy)) and hang out for like 1.5 hours talking. She said that she didn't do her makeup this morning cuz wanted to show me how she does it (that's nice of her, that she thought bout that :) ) and ya, it kinda took forever cause we was talking nonstop and she was trying to show me as well a bit. As we were bout to head out she asked me if I ate and I was like, nah, didn't do anything lol, just sorta came asap and skipped everything else. She was like, oh, I don't want you going out starving, I made some breakfast for my gf, you can have it though, and made me some food! :D It is not the kinda thing I would eat for breakfast but it wasn't all that bad, just different, but ya, I ate it all, cuz I am a fat ass and was hungry!
After that, we went out shopping, she drove cuz I would likely get lost cuz Idk where I am going lol. Went to Target first, took forever (damn Michigan construction, nonstop and everywhere grrrr!). We started looking at clothing but after thinking bout it for a bit, I thought, might as well go to like Goodwill and get cheap stuff you know, read that from posts here as well as being good starter's place, so didn't buy any there. Next went to the makeup section because she said they have some cheap and yet good brands there. We talked a bit about what to get earlier at her place so she had a good idea about what to pick up when we were there. She basically did all the shopping for me there, which was awesome because I don't think I would've done it otherwise, alone, without her. But ya, it went good, and best of all, she didn't break my bank account doing it! (I am cheap and poor as well as being lazy!)
After Targets we went to Goodwill thrift store to shop for clothing and stuffs. At first I let her pick out most of the things, she was shopping for herself as well a bit, after awhile I started feeling a WEE bit more comfortable tho and started helping just a bit. Then she dropped the bombshell by saying, I'm gonna go try these on, you go do it too since I don't know your size really and am only guessing. I was like, no, no, HELLZ no lol and said so, while looking at all the people around the rooms (they were at the side of the building, no male female only ones). She was like ah, don't worry bout it, nobody will notice, and if they do, I will stand up for you, and she started heading that way. I followed her slowly, cus I didn't really want to, and found her near an empty stall and she sorta waved me over. I walked over and she was like, off you go, and pushed me in! (ok she didn't actually push me in lol but in a noncontact making way did, I was almost there as it was so only had a few steps to go, so ya, she sorta tricked and trapped me into doing it!!!)
So as I lock the door behind me I was thinking to myself, "That mother ->-bleeped-<-ing sneaky bitch!!" LOL!! (sorry for the language but is what I actually thought). I wasn't actually mad or anything, kinda play mad I guess, if that is a word. So, since I was already in there, figured might as well try stuff on...She did save me some money though, cuz some of the things were way to small, couldn't get in em lol. Then I remember I had to get out still and I was like oh ->-bleeped-<-....
It took me a bit to get the guts to walk out, in my mind I had to think of a strategy to get out w/o everyone nearby instantly noticing that a guy was coming out of the fitting room with women's clothing! Thankfully, or luckily, there were a few pretty androgynous items she had handed to me so I put them in the front and back to hide the more feminine types in between. It still took me a little while to actually open up the door and walk out lol but I finally managed and nobody was the wiser. The world didn't end whoop whoop! Thank god for my quick thinking skills lol.
The last thing we did was head over to check out purses, I figured eventually I will need one and might as well get a cheap one to start with right? I ended up getting a cheap, black, kinda medium sized one I guess you could say, not super tiny but not huge either. I figure that would be a good, everyday bag for when I start going out so works for me (for now). Then we paid for our stuff, well actually she paid the cashier and I paid her back in the car and headed home.
But ya, overall, it was nice. I mean it was scary as hell the whole time but having her there with me made it bearable at least. I guess I prolly owe her a online apology here since I might've bad mouthed her a bit because of last time so ya, am sorry if I did (she won't see this but still)! But ya, I think it was so awesome of her to do that with me, while trying to make it as comfortable as possible for me; I definitely feel indebted to her a bit atm. Gonna try and make that up to her next week, Tuesday, since I will be in town anyway at my shrink's so am going to dinner afterwards with her.
Haha, that's awesome. Good thing you did ask again or you wouldn't of been able to do all that. :) I can't go shopping for the same reason as you, I feel like people will just stare at me but good on you for overcoming that fear. Hopefully it gets easier as you do it more!