well, I'll begin by stating my therapist is great and has brought me back from practicing high dives off of buildings. I'm 9 months in and psychologically the most stable I've been for a very long time. HRT is the perfect solution for me and I am very happy. The thing is has it ever happened that you start wondering why someone is so encouraging about your transition, like its too good to be true, like shouldn't there be some bumps in the road in regards to a therapist being so affirmative. I'll never turn back I was just thinking given the nature of the idea of changing gender you would expect more questioning. Does your psyche team present speed bumps for you or is it like having a tail wind and speeding toward nirvana
Mine was both very encouraging and convincing me to go slow and adapt well. I could not have a better team! :)
Mine wrote my letter for hrt after the first visit...she is a lovely therapist but I feel she might be a little too enthusiastic with limited experience of trans issues. Had to tell her I didn't want the letter for at least 6months of therapy just to be sure it's right for me. Sometimes you gotta balance being in a rush to be happy with taking extra care of your own well being. :-)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 10, 2014, 09:30:07 PM
Mine was both very encouraging and convincing me to go slow and adapt well. I could not have a better team! :)
that has basically been what mine has done, maybe cause I'm older I question things more I don't know
Quote from: Laurenza on August 10, 2014, 09:48:06 PM
Mine wrote my letter for hrt after the first visit...she is a lovely therapist but I feel she might be a little too enthusiastic with limited experience of trans issues. Had to tell her I didn't want the letter for at least 6months of therapy just to be sure it's right for me. Sometimes you gotta balance being in a rush to be happy with taking extra care of your own well being. :-)
very true
I'm my therapist's first trans client. She's learning from me. Luckily, I'm the patient type. She hasn't pushed, she hasn't been overly cautious, probably because she's extremely experienced in general therapy and GLB issues.
I found her by accident but she's liking the experience so much that she told me she's officially branching into trans care.
I have no complaints.
My therapist has been very encouraging. She also said go at my own pace and she'd help with letters, records etc. when I was ready. So far she has been true to her word and sooooo supportive!
Quote from: Dee Walker on August 10, 2014, 10:19:20 PM
I'm my therapist's first trans client. She's learning from me. Luckily, I'm the patient type. She hasn't pushed, she hasn't been overly cautious, probably because she's extremely experienced in general therapy and GLB issues.
I found her by accident but she's liking the experience so much that she told me she's officially branching into trans care.
I have no complaints.
same with me, she use to do teenage therapy and family therapy
My Chicago therapist was the first to diagnose me as trans*. It happened in our very first discussion. I was shocked and then relieved. Only afterwards did we start processing and unpacking this and other issues that I needed to address. An endo appointment was made immediately after the first therapy session. Then and blood work and a consult with the endo, low dose hrt was prescribed
It was so obvious to her. I really had no idea (either that or I was in denial or didnt really understand the trans* condition). I was confused, embarrassed, ashamed and damaged by previous therapists. Did she move too quickly - no. Did I move too quickly, perhaps. But I have spent a lot of time since then working with her and then with many other therapists who reached the same diagnosis and have been there to help me question, understand, accept and express myself.
Aisla
I guess in my case I just poured out my mind of all my thoughts and past experiences from early childhood and agreed my brain is just wired like this and the best possible path is HRT. I'm extremely happy with their take on this issue. Totally better then jumping through a million hoops.
My therapist has been working with trans people for many years and is very well known in the community locally. She was ready to write my letter after my first session with her too. I told her that I felt ready for it but at the same time I didn't feel "ready" if that makes any sense.... I continued seeing her for a few months before I felt it was time to continue with transition and asked for my letter. Apparently she already had it written and needed only to forward it to my endo!
To answer the original question, I was taken aback some that I wasn't pressed more before getting my letter but at the same time it was just a HUGE sense of relief that someone believed me and I wasn't crazy! So I'm going with tailwind for mine. She's been really great and I'm so glad to be working with her.
I was very apprehensive to say the least and HRT is not easy to obtain in my area, but for some reason the Dr.s and such have been very supportive and have recommended that I should get SRS as soon as possible
I can honestly say my therapist is in no way pushing me to transition at all, and I'm a tough o'l bird... I think before my first visit with her my mind was pretty made up as to what needed to happen, however for me I wanted to take it one step at a time. First and foremost getting my head screwed on right before I proceeded with anything. This by the way was highly encouraged. Six months in now I still have no doubts of the decision I have made and I truly have never been pressured to anything other than going through and analyzing what I am doing in the process. I actually work with both a gender therapist and a physiologist as well and believe me, they compare notes... If either one sees something a little out of whack they make me aware of it. Kind of a safety net so to speak. Then it is discussed in session. I personally think I have a great team on my side, and all options are on the table at any given time.
My therapist is supportive, sensitive and cautious. She specializes in gender issues and depression, and has many trans* patients. When I went to her, initially I was looking for some way of dealing with the effects of dysphoria, except that at the time, I didn't know that it was dysphoria. After a few visits, she brought up HRT, but she didn't push it. I was a bit reluctant to start. After a few years of working with her, it became clear to me that the only way I was going to stop the pain was to take her up on her offer. She faxed an endocrinologist that same day.
All this to exemplify that she didn't push me into this, but she did provide me with the tools to arrive at the decision when I finally hit the wall. In retrospect, I should have taken her up on the offer when it was first presented, and for that matter, I'm sure I would be in a much better place had I mustered the courage to face this in the 1970s
Mine gave me my letter after six months when I felt I was ready. She then mentioned that she was ready to give me that letter after one month but waited for me to ask.
The first one was pretty lame and i fired her as she seemed weirded out by me. The second could have had pom poms as she was like "go for it" but that was as far as it went . I fired her and moved on to one that can help me with the management of the day to day realities. The rejection and relationships. The new one will do our family as a group and i hope helpful as we have reached some sort of impass.
Good question for a post
Mine wrote a diagnosis of GID on the first visit, but waited 8 months to write me a letter for an endo. But, to be fair, I could only afford to see the guy once a month.
Transition didn't happen overnight for me either, I didn't even know it was possible for several years until I acquired a computer
I'd actually been pursuing my transgender issues for quite a few years and visited other sites as soon as I had a computer for about three years before finding Susan's Place
Susan's is where I felt comfortable and so I stayed, sure, I made my mistakes but eventually got a clue or two, made some darn good friends as well
Nine years ago Dr.s laughed at me for even bringing it up, now they ask how they can help
Well, that's the long and the short of that
Hugs
I've felt mine was a little too gung ho at times, and almost like i actually disappointed her during the periods where i pulled back from the idea. I can tell she really wants me to transition which doesn't seem quite right.
I created my own speed bumps and haven't rushed things. The team I'm working with has been good about helping me with each stage on an as-needed basis because they can tell I'm thinking about this and not rushing in without using my head.
Mine wanted to be sure I was sure about what I wanted. My first visit to him was about my dysphoria melt down but from that point on I was pretty sure I wanted to try retransition, a certainty that increased with each visit. He was concerned (justifiably) that I viewed my initial attempt at transition as a disaster and didn't want me going back down the same path. I became a bit frustrated feeling he was holding me back and he even sent me to another psych for a second opinion before referring me to an endo. He is supportive but I would call him far from enthusiastic... but to be honest I think I prefer that. He can see things are working out well for me, it was probably worth the mere extra six weeks of waiting as it gave me the incentive to seek out other avenues of support and information (the Sydney Gender Center and online forums).
Quote from: stephaniec on August 10, 2014, 09:22:39 PMHRT is the perfect solution for me and I am very happy. The thing is has it ever happened that you start wondering why someone is so encouraging about your transition, like its too good to be true, like shouldn't there be some bumps in the road in regards to a therapist being so affirmative. I'll never turn back I was just thinking given the nature of the idea of changing gender you would expect more questioning.
This has been my overriding thought throughout my transition so far. I went in to therapy a while ago as a complete mess. The therapist (who is very experienced in trans issues) never really tried to figure out if I was really trans or not. It's like she
knew, right from the start, that this is what we were dealing with. At the time, I was the one who was throwing up roadblocks and trying to figure out if I was anything other than trans. After a few sessions, she was the one who brought up going to see the endo and getting on at least low dose HRT.
An experienced therapist can spot us a mile off. And an experienced therapist kinda knows what we need to do to help ourselves. They see the pain we're in, and they know that getting on some kind of HRT is exactly what'll relive some of the symptoms. It's also a great diagnostic tool: if HRT makes you feel better, you're pretty much solid gold trans, no matter how much you kick and scream that you're not!
Think of it like any other medical issue. Your ankle hurts after a fall, so you go to the doctor. He's not going to sit there and screw around all day wondering whether it's maybe a broken wrist or appendicitis, nor is he going to be too concerned about why you fell down in the first place and want to spend a week exploring how you feel about stairs. He sees a broken ankle, he treats a broken ankle.
I (now) see gender identity disorder as a medical issue. It's one that can be treated very easily with HRT. Once on HRT, it's up to us how far we want to take it, but once that diagnosis is made, the treatment is pretty much cut and dried: go see an endo, take hormones, you'll feel better; then we can talk about how to integrate your gender issues into your life now that you're mentally more stable.
So yes, those first steps can seem rushed and the therapist can sometimes seem like he or she is pushing you faster than you want to go, but I think (with an experienced gender therapist) it's because they can quickly see that you're trans, and as such, getting you to take the drugs that will alleviate your suffering is a matter of some urgency. A good, experienced therapist has seen this a million times before, and they know the one treatment that works.
You said it yourself:
QuoteHRT is the perfect solution for me and I am very happy.
There you go. HRT
is the perfect solution. It is for the vast majority of us, and that's why good therapists will recognize that you're trans very quickly and get you on the meds asap. Then you can step back with a clear mind and start to slow down and explore the mental side of what's happened to you.
Now that you're on the HRT, you can step back and start to slow down. This is the time for reflection on your past, your relationships, how to come to terms with being trans etc. But the HRT should make those kinds of questions far easier to answer.
My therapist has no opportunity to place any speed bumps, I do a pretty good job of it myself. My big issue are the "WTF am I doing???" meltdowns which come as things in life seem going too well. Like.... I want a miserable unhappy life or something?
She does an excellent job of "Reality Therapy", reminding me of all the positive things happening thanks my path along the road of self discovery. Perhaps you can call this being enthusiastic? Many times I wish she would challenge me more, yet one of my big mantras is "I know what does not work"; after having spent 50 years trying that route with little success.
After 50 years of arguably a successful male life, transitioning full time does scare the crap out of me. After 6 years of arguably a success transitioning, HRT, part-time, achieving my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman, transitioning full time scares the crap out of me. I am a point of self acceptance now that I can actually look back at my life and think it has been good, I am a somebody. Which then leads to do I really have to upset it all? Full-time can come at a great cost, too many unknowns. Is it worth it?
Or is it just a rehash of the same excuses I used to validate stopping my transitioning experiments when I was in my 20's? Another good reason for me to keep seeing her