For those who transition or realized they we TG later in life, what were the telltale signs in reflection? These were some of mine:
1. Cried easily, movies and in certain situations as far back as I can remember.
2. Preferred individual sports, male team sports didn't attract me from School to University and later.
3. Facials
4. Manicures and Pedicures
5. Loved shopping which was also a stress relief
6. Highlights in hair even when short haired
7. More comfortable around women than men
8. Light make up when out at night
9. Waxed legs and body, originally used competitive swimming and triathlon as the reason
The total inability to sleep every night for 50 years unless I was utterly exhausted.
Lying there in the dark every night I knew I should have been female but I repressed it harshly in the day time. At night, when tired, my demons crawled out of the dark recesses of my mind and I could not stop thinking about how I should have been a girl.
The day I went on HRT I went to bed at night, tired rather than exhausted, turned the light out and slept 8 hours for the first time in my life.
The signs for me (aside from the standard Klinefelter Syndrome side effects) were not particularly visible, in terms of my appearance etc. It was mostly emotional and habitual signs >.>
- Drug abuse: Numbing the pain and unwanted thoughts through frequent copious use of painkillers
- Sex Addiction: Living vicariously through my female sexual partners, in 10 years I think there was probably only one or two days where I didn't have sex at least once, and wasting entire weekends and holidays in the act.
- Video Games: When not on drugs or having sex (or both at the same time) I spent as much time as possible playing any video game that let me play as a female character, completely immersing myself for countless hours as my female avatar.
- Maternal Feelings: That alien urge to not only have children, but be pregnant and feel them grow inside me.
Other than that, I was a pretty "normal guy"...probably why it came as such a shock to everybody when I came out ^^;
Quote from: warlockmaker on August 11, 2014, 04:57:52 AM
For those who transition or realized they we TG later in life, what were the telltale signs in reflection?
What drove me to exploring my gender was my inability to be friends with males. It's hard as a married straight guy to approach females as friends.
Other signs were fascination with women's issues, media, and lives. Also, I've always wished I'd been born a woman, but oddly, I didn't connect that with any of the rest of it. I figured a lot of guys felt that.
Well there was a lot of denial and things are still surfacing even after a year of being out about it.,but here's what I've noticed so far:
1. Always preferred to think of having sex as a woman.
2. Preferred playing female video game characters.
3. I do love shopping, shoes, and bags. ;D
4. In most of my dreams I am either genderless (gender simply not addressed) or female.
5. Woman's clothes always seemed more comfortable to me.
6. Feminine poses and social norms have always felt more natural. And yet while in denial frustrating to keep repressed.
Seriously, I thought I might just be gay or weird for the longest time. I spent many a night terrified that someone was going to find out and about how I felt and out me to the world and shame me. I might have been right about that ten-twenty years ago. Today I've only had one person freak out on me and that was my wife. And now that we're separated and have been for a year she's cool with it. She just isn't attracted to women. So I feel pretty blessed so far.
Well, realizing you're trans at 26 is kind of late to come to that point, though compared to someone who knew since they were 7 or so it's pretty late in the game.
Looking back though, here's what I've got:
1. I always had more satisfying orgasms when I didn't touch my own penis.
2. I often drank to allow myself to become more feminine, and was nearly a full-blown alcoholic when I finally quit.
3. SEVERE body image problems, wishing desperately to be more fem/andro, which led to eating disorders.
4. Never feeling fully socially integrated as a man, even if I liked (and still enjoy) some traditionally masculine things.
But the one telltale sign I had, more than anything, was a generalized dysphoria that made every day of my life harder and harder to live. I couldn't concentrate, my sleep schedule was out of whack, my moods were all over the place, tiny things would get to me, and I began slowly losing control of my life. That's what people forget: gender dysphoria can manifest as a diffuse dysphoria with no apparent cause. I was afraid I might have everything from schizophrenia to borderline personality disorder, and I was terrified that I would transition and it would end up being a huge mistake.
Luckily, things have only gotten better from there, though on the climb back up I've had plenty of time to realize just how far I've fallen.
Basically, I had the classic downward spiral of a late-onset case, though not as late as some (some girls make it to their 40s or 50s but I don't think I would have survived that long).
Quote from: Rose City Rose on August 11, 2014, 06:46:21 AM
Well, realizing you're trans at 26 is kind of late to come to that point, though compared to someone who knew since they were 7 or so it's pretty late in the game.
Looking back though, here's what I've got:
1. I always had more satisfying orgasms when I didn't touch my own penis.
2. I often drank to allow myself to become more feminine, and was nearly a full-blown alcoholic when I finally quit.
3. SEVERE body image problems, wishing desperately to be more fem/andro, which led to eating disorders.
4. Never feeling fully socially integrated as a man, even if I liked (and still enjoy) some traditionally masculine things.
But the one telltale sign I had, more than anything, was a generalized dysphoria that made every day of my life harder and harder to live. I couldn't concentrate, my sleep schedule was out of whack, my moods were all over the place, tiny things would get to me, and I began slowly losing control of my life. That's what people forget: gender dysphoria can manifest as a diffuse dysphoria with no apparent cause. I was afraid I might have everything from schizophrenia to borderline personality disorder, and I was terrified that I would transition and it would end up being a huge mistake.
Luckily, things have only gotten better from there, though on the climb back up I've had plenty of time to realize just how far I've fallen.
Basically, I had the classic downward spiral of a late-onset case, though not as late as some (some girls make it to their 40s or 50s but I don't think I would have survived that long).
Sounds scarily similar to a lot of my emotions and thoughts when I was in denial, and I came out when I was 26 too! :D
Not super late onset but far from a teenager >.>
I was in my 30's when I started my transition properly but I took birth control pills in my early 20's which I used to either steal or get from girls I knew. I was quite focused and my tell tale signs were I didn't want to be male. From the age of 13 I grew my hair long and wore androgynous clothes. There was never any denial with me, I was quietly up front about who I was and didn't pretend to be a man or get married or anything like that. That seemed very wrong to me. I never liked any male pursuits or sport and still don't like them. I never came out because I was never in so no surprise to anyone.
If I got into a situation with a girl where I has to have sex I didn't enjoy it and would pretend it was the other way round and they were inside me to get through it. I wasn't very sexually active in that way. I didn't want to make love to girl I wanted to be one. I was very interested in wanting to get a female bodyshape and didn't have that much interest in clothes. As it goes I haven't done very well in acquiring a female bodyshape but that was my aim and still is to be female and nothing else.
The telltale signs..... here are a few off the top of my head:
1. Getting picked on all through high school and not understanding why.
2. Not being able to relate to guys and having trouble playing the guy role in life. NOT FITTING IN WITH THE GUYS.
3. When the wife and I were intimate I very much preferred the "lead in" and not so much the "grand finale".
4. Heavy drinking to escape who I was.
5. I started a business with some alpha male types and even though I made a *lot* of money for the company they pretty much completely disregarded and disrespected me. I eventually quit - the last I heard they are almost out of business now :D
A deep craving to have breasts, a vulva, hips, a female body in all aspects. But i transitioned not that late, so maybe it does not count?
Looking at my grandfathers photo and realizing that nearing 40 testosterone wasn't going to do me any favors either. I've set back that clock by about 15 years or so getting on E.
Best. Decision. Ever.
Also at 5'-3'7" realizing I'll never be an alpha male so why compete when I can compete as an alpha woman. ;D
My transition has mostly been about vanity and adapting to my much, much better "skin".