Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Jasper.Beauclair on August 11, 2014, 11:25:44 PM

Title: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jasper.Beauclair on August 11, 2014, 11:25:44 PM
wow its been a while since ive been on here.
well, im bisexual (kind of) and i like cross dressing... er well, not cross dressing meaning i dress as a boy, i mean i like buying women's wigs and buying makeup. buying... i havent worn girly things recently since i graduated school and arent forced to.
my friends noticed i would wear my extra girly wigs and stuff when i was depressed or had family issues....
now that im graduated, im not pressured at school by students to "stop being a tomboy" or "fit in with the other girls", i dont wear them and im not as depressed as when i was in school.

is it weird that i liked to crossdress when i felt like i didnt belong?
well, actually i called it cosplay...

this is a wig im buying for my birthday
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F51Mpjj7L7BL.jpg&hash=ee0eddcf4508ba7d216e181b83f8457f18a9c870)
i guess i love collecting wigs xD
i have six that for 5 months have just sat on my shelf
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: AeroZeppelin92 on August 12, 2014, 01:43:16 AM
I don't mean to be rude, but your post is very confusing. I'm not sure what you're trying to say.
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: aleon515 on August 12, 2014, 01:58:53 AM
Kind of wondering if this post is in the wrong place (?). A cross dresser is, normally speaking, a male assigned at birth person who dresses as female for a variety of reasons. A cross dresser who is FTM is probably a gender non-binary person.


--Jay
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jasper.Beauclair on August 12, 2014, 02:06:01 AM
well i dont feel female... that what im trying to say
dressing like a girl is fun and i have a lot of laughs with my cosplay (dressing like anime characters) club and i make cis guys wear my pink wigs, but i definitely feel male

im ftm but i like to dress for fun as a girl... and usually only get a "urge"(?) to when im depressed or upset
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: EchelonHunt on August 12, 2014, 07:48:07 AM
Quote from: Samantha007 on August 12, 2014, 03:01:32 AM
Sorry but your posts don't make sense in any way shape or form. If you are a ftm, who I'm assuming hasn't transitioned yet, and you are still presenting as a female, then  wearing wigs, make up, girly stuff wouldn't be classed as crossdressing as you are still presenting according your "birth gender".

What happens if a FTM who has begun transitioning, on HRT and gotten top surgery, would it be classified as cross-dressing then? (asking out of curiosity)

Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jessica Merriman on August 12, 2014, 10:31:27 AM
Quote from: Jasper.Beauclair on August 11, 2014, 11:25:44 PM
well, im bisexual (kind of)
Now I am a little confused.  ??? Are you or are you not bisexual because I was not aware you could be "kind of" bisexual. I think to get this sorted out you should do like many of us here and find a good Therapist. It would be a plus if they have gender issue experience. They could help discover why you are depressed and help with treatment of it. Your situation is very unique and not one I can remember seeing here before. Please keep us posted!  :)
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jess42 on August 12, 2014, 11:06:55 AM
Well I'm way confused. I agree with Jessica and you need to find a good therapist to sort things out.

But just to get it straight, you are FTM but like dressing female but feel male inside?
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: stephaniec on August 12, 2014, 11:14:36 AM
well, I'm  mtf , so, if I go back to male clothes when depressed I think maybe it's a security blanket issue , I don't know though.
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: KamTheMan on August 12, 2014, 11:35:07 AM
I'm a little confused about why a topic by an ftm guy was moved to the mtf thread..
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: KamTheMan on August 12, 2014, 11:41:15 AM
sometimes when if get really depressed about being trans, convinced that I could never live a real full life as a guy. I would search for an old bra or want to go to a wig shop. I never did (except for maybe once putting on a bra again and looking at myself) because the thought of seeing myself dressed as female again freaked me out. But I can understand if that's how you're feeling. Does it make you feel good to see yourself as female when you dress that way? How long have you been out as ftm?
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Maleth on August 12, 2014, 03:52:10 PM
The thread was a bit confusing as we all know, but I think the poster is an FTM.. A guy crossdressing as a girl. Though.. I don't know, I could be wrong but that's what I understood from the thread. Anyways, I think crossdressing could apply for both sexes. Those identifying as women can crossdress as men, I think they're called drag kings (as opposed to drag queens-- men crossdressing as women).
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Kira Phoenix on August 12, 2014, 04:09:46 PM
Quote from: Samantha007 on August 12, 2014, 03:01:32 AM
Sorry but your posts don't make sense in any way shape or form. If you are a ftm, who I'm assuming hasn't transitioned yet, and you are still presenting as a female, then  wearing wigs, make up, girly stuff wouldn't be classed as crossdressing as you are still presenting according your "birth gender".


Samantha

I would see it as the following: He is an FTM transgender, which makes him a male. Just because he doesn't have a penis doesn't make him any less than man. Because he likes to wear female clothes, he would be classified as a crossdresser. Its not too terribly hard to put it together if you think about it, but society wouldn't classify him as such because it doesn't know any better.
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: GenTechJ on August 12, 2014, 04:17:16 PM
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 12, 2014, 10:31:27 AM
Now I am a little confused.  ??? Are you or are you not bisexual because I was not aware you could be "kind of" bisexual. I think to get this sorted out you should do like many of us here and find a good Therapist. It would be a plus if they have gender issue experience. They could help discover why you are depressed and help with treatment of it. Your situation is very unique and not one I can remember seeing here before. Please keep us posted!  :)

Just my opinion but I don't think there's a definite answer for bisexual. Same with homosexual and heterosexual, there's no defined category or mindset one has to fall into to classify. Or maybe OP is curious. I do agree with seeking a therapist however.

OP: As others have brought up, maybe it's a security blanket. It's familiar, it's what you knew most of your life before transitioning so when depressed it helps. Much like I still eat chicken and stars soup with a grilled cheese sandwich when sick. I'm 33, chicken and stars is primarily seen as "children's food", but it's that comfort that helps.
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: peky on August 12, 2014, 04:19:44 PM
Quote from: Kira Phoenix on August 12, 2014, 04:09:46 PM
I would see it as the following: He is an FTM transgender, which makes him a male. Just because he doesn't have a penis doesn't make him any less than man. Because he likes to wear female clothes, he would be classified as a crossdresser. Its not too terribly hard to put it together if you think about it, but society wouldn't classify him as such because it doesn't know any better.

That is right Girl ! Thanks for bringing clarity into the room.

@ OP... have fun !
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jasper.Beauclair on August 12, 2014, 05:04:59 PM
i guess i like men mainly and only liked 1 girl, thats what i mean by kind of bisexual..

ive been trying to come out publicly since i was maybe 9 or 10. right now im only out in the high school (though no one knows what trans is)
my mom doesnt know (she beat me when i was 10 and my counselor told her i was having gender issues)
and my dad said i should wait until im 18 (in 5 days) before doing anything where society can see me

im ordering my first binder and stuff whenever i get the money soon
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: GenTechJ on August 12, 2014, 06:33:00 PM
Quote from: Jasper.Beauclair on August 12, 2014, 05:04:59 PM
i guess i like men mainly and only liked 1 girl, thats what i mean by kind of bisexual..

ive been trying to come out publicly since i was maybe 9 or 10. right now im only out in the high school (though no one knows what trans is)
my mom doesnt know (she beat me when i was 10 and my counselor told her i was having gender issues)
and my dad said i should wait until im 18 (in 5 days) before doing anything where society can see me

im ordering my first binder and stuff whenever i get the money soon

I will say make absolutely positive. But now the questions make sense. You have your whole life ahead of you, don't fixate on the bad. If you honestly feel this is the change you need to make then you're at a better place than I. Although, I'm not sure about the rules on underage, so don't take it wrong if you get banned or deleted. Just be yourself, be open, and know that it's not easy in any sort.
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: aleon515 on August 13, 2014, 12:54:55 AM
Quote from: Jasper.Beauclair on August 12, 2014, 05:04:59 PM
i guess i like men mainly and only liked 1 girl, thats what i mean by kind of bisexual..

ive been trying to come out publicly since i was maybe 9 or 10. right now im only out in the high school (though no one knows what trans is)
my mom doesnt know (she beat me when i was 10 and my counselor told her i was having gender issues)
and my dad said i should wait until im 18 (in 5 days) before doing anything where society can see me

im ordering my first binder and stuff whenever i get the money soon


I'm sorry that I was confused by your initial post. It's okay if you would want to dress in a non-binary way (say a feminine way), if you are comfortable with it. If you are NOt comfortable, is it that it is confusing to you or what? It's okay to be however it is you are.

--Jay
Title: Re: crossdressing and depression
Post by: Jess42 on August 13, 2014, 03:10:30 PM
Quote from: Jasper.Beauclair on August 12, 2014, 05:04:59 PM
i guess i like men mainly and only liked 1 girl, thats what i mean by kind of bisexual..

ive been trying to come out publicly since i was maybe 9 or 10. right now im only out in the high school (though no one knows what trans is)
my mom doesnt know (she beat me when i was 10 and my counselor told her i was having gender issues)
and my dad said i should wait until im 18 (in 5 days) before doing anything where society can see me

im ordering my first binder and stuff whenever i get the money soon

That really clears it up. Sometimes you just need to go into more detail in the original posts, don't take that the wrong way though. Reading from someone isn't quite the same way as talking to someone face to face.

Wow, your mom beat you when you were 10 because you had gender issues? I am so sorry but now you are among friends. And this is a really safe place to be. That was the most confusing part to me not that you are FTM and want to dress like a girl but the "kind of bi" statement.