What is the first thing people say/ask when they find out you are transgender?
"Do your parents know?"
"How could your parents allow you to do this?"
Seems like it is hard for many people to realize that nobody can "allow" me to live.
"When are you gonna become a chick?" Or anything similar
So are you a boy or a girl? Is the question I get asked.
I have to admit that people were very confused about the way I looked.
I am FTM.
When I would dress half girl/boy people thought I was MTF. Kinda sucked until I was able to start affording my own clothes. Now I pass as male 100%.
"So... are you getting [wiggles hand suggestively]... 'the surgery'?"
Before I moved away and became stealth.
"Has everyone been asking why you picked Alex?"
"Nope..."
"So why did you?"
"What was your girl name?" (I Hate hate hate that question with a passion)
"So..how are you gonna..do it?".
"Are you sure? Your so young".
"What does your mom think?/Is your mom dealing ok?" And "Do you think this will make you happy?"
I am honestly fortunate enough to be surrounded by extremely supportive people. So far, the worst reaction I've received is some co workers ignoring it, but since legal stuff has started, they've been much better about it. I have no idea how I'm going to react when I inevitably hit negativity. Even when my mom wasn't being supportive about transition, she was trying to get me to counseling for my depression and gender questions. She was just concerned I hadn't thought it through enough (which, given how impulsive I am, is a legitimate concern).
And then, there's my brother. I told him last year. He forgot. Asked no questions. Fat forward to July.
"Brother, I am becoming manly. Male pronouns plz."
"Huh?"
"I told you about this. I know I did."
"Oh, right. The trans thing. Is that an official thing now?"
That boy I swear.
I'm stealth, so no one asks anything because they don't know.
I don't currently tell anyone, though I am out in the trans community and nobody there asks stupid questions, LOL. I had the opportunity to meet a young trans guy this week in space where nobody else knew except his family. He passed great. Someone did ask me whether he was a boy or a girl (he looks really young, younger than he is) and I said boy and that was that.
There are people around me who probably wonder about me, because I have kids, and because I say my former partner was male, my kids have two dads... and gay men with kids that are my kids ages would be unusual at best. Nobody asks and I don't offer. Not their business. And I can talk about my past without 'lying'. Just not something I am going to disclose in casual conversation.
They didn't know I was trans at the time, but a few people lately have expressed disbelief that I am actually a guy and asked how old I am.
I've had one person I came out to ask about surgery and a couple ask if I plan to transition then.
Something alone the lines of "Hey I just met you and this is crazy but tell me about your genitals in explicit detail maybe right now and if you don't I'll cry and whine about how I'm just curious and you need to be nicer to me." But yeah, it always comes back to the genitals "what do your genitals look like"/"have you had surgery on your genitals"/"will you have surgery on your genitals"/"do your genitals still work"/"will you genitals still work if you choose to have surgery on them" and on and on.
Usually I get asked about surgery. Like do I plan on getting lower surgery? Really not anyone's business.
The very first response I get is disbelief.
"No way! You're joking."
"But you look so much like a guy."
Then people ask. "Do you have a penis?"
Some guys I'm cool with asked "So when are you getting your penis?" and "How are you going to make a penis?". They asked this after knowing for a while. Mind you, we were in public around kids (we were in a subway). They continued to banter me even when I was obviously not comfortable answering those questions.
I think the best is
"so are you going to get THE surgery?" while pointing down below
Well, I'm stealth but a few people found out recently and they took it to mean I was MTF, either way the first question I got was "so did you have...it...removed?"
"So... How do you have sex?" Or "Are you and your husband staying together?" If they know both of us.
"Are you a boy or girl? Really?"
Oddly enough the only actual straight u question i've got after coming out has been "So.. what do you want us to call you? Like, do you have a name picked out?".
It's extremely weird. but my family kind of assumed it, my first serious girlfriend knew it before i told her, my friends didnt give a damn, ect. I never got much in the way of questions unless i asked people if they had questions, lol.
I really don't get asked much questions and if I do, it's mostly about the transition process in general and so on. The most specific question must be along the lines "so do you have to take those hormones for the rest of your life?" Well... obviously, especially now that my own hormone production has been eliminated lol.
Not out to anyone, but I usually hear people staring me down and trying to figure out whether I'm a boy or a girl or some people even whisper amongst themselves while pointing to me.
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on August 12, 2014, 06:24:42 AM
I'm stealth, so no one asks anything because they don't know.
So lucky.. I hope to be stealth one day..
"So are you gay?"
I met my endo's resident the other day. I was the first FTM she had ever met. her first comment was "oh wow I would have never guessed." She complemented my masculinity and my voice. She also eluded to the fact that she thinks I'm attractive.
On dating apps, the most common question is "So do you have a *slang term for front hole*?" followed by "Can I lick it/have sex with it/etc?" For people I meet in person, it's usually "So have you had The Surgery? Are you going to?"
probably "Wait... What?" or "Really?"
depends on the person
people i've known a while:
1. "do your parents support you?"
2. " well thats cool, long as your happy."
people im either acquainted with or barely know
1. " how do you know you're a guy?"
2. " does your family know?"
3. " but you were so pretty."
I can't say i've had a horrible experience yet with my being trans. i've been really lucky tbh. my parents are totally on board with it. and none of my friends mind. im in college and it's a really accepting atmosphere.
like you want to say AZ is a republican conservative place when really it's pretty damn accepting, i've yet to run into these conservative people speak of.
"Really?? Does your mom know?"
"So, how does...that surgery work? Will it look just like a 'real one'?"
"Gah! Why would you get your boobs cut off?! That'd hurt!!"
"Why do you 'want to be a boy'??"
Or, I'll show them another FTM that's had top surgery, etc, and they say "So 'that' (or 'they') are/was a girl?"
It goes on, but it always stems to how the surgery is gonna work. The improper pronouns and 'want to be a boy' thing get to me most. I AM a young man. >:(
Due to unique circumstances, by the time I moved here, I was already well into presenting male and pass just fine so I have the good fortune to not have to deal with stupid questions.
Most of the handful of family that I've told are not surprised, and the males just went right into proper pronouns. It was kind of weird actually...the females are having a huge problem with that though. They insist they just need more time, but I'm like, the men had zero problems switching and they've been here just as long as you so...
"Which bathroom do you use?"
"How did you have a baby?"
bonus followup from some idiots -
"Does her mom know?"
My least favorite, which thankfully I haven't heard in a long time -
"What was your name before?"
People most of the time now either express disbelief or just take it in stride and accept the information as if I had told them what neighborhood I live in or that I wear glasses.
so u have both parts? ..
so u have both parts? how big is it? so u had THE sergery? can I see it? how do u have sex? how can u b a boy wen ura girl?
my old so calld friends wen they found my packer laughed n said wtf u do w this u stick it inside u? I explained n they said so I was rite u stick it inside u?
i think these questions need some smart answers.
i've only run into odd questions on the internet, because i'm not really out irl yet. standard answer to "are you a boy or a girl?" would be "yes".
Having kids or getting married? :(
"What do they make the penis out of?"
I always get a private part question first. Except from a few people but the majority ask the first thing. Ugh.
I've been very fortunate. Most of the people who knew me before the transition, when I come out as trans, simply ask what I prefer to be called. Nobody seemed very surprised but I was slowly transitioing physically for months before I started coming out. So far no innapropriate questions. Very thankful of all the supportive people around me.
"So, you're not going to go all the way right? I mean.... you are not going to use the men's bathroom are you?"
"So... what exactly is a transgender?"
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F36%2Ffc%2F29%2F36fc29969a5b3bf53c7c769959c7a1e9.jpg&hash=3f93f17031527e163ab79f07a5db12ef7301179b)
Tempting...
Edge, that is beautiful :laugh:
Quote from: pianoforte on September 01, 2014, 06:38:00 PM
"So... what exactly is a transgender?"
That's probably a honest question, most people just don't know.
Quote from: devention on August 12, 2014, 04:15:40 AM
And then, there's my brother. I told him last year. He forgot. Asked no questions. Fat forward to July.
"Brother, I am becoming manly. Male pronouns plz."
"Huh?"
"I told you about this. I know I did."
"Oh, right. The trans thing. Is that an official thing now?"
That boy I swear.
Haha, that really made me smile... :)
I couldn't imagine being so forward with a new aquointance that I'd say anything relating to gender, if there's one thing I've learned its that.. Second is pronouns, I mean how hard is to address anyone in male clothes as he, and female as she, that's all people need to know, why do they even bring up stupid questions they have no business asking.??
Quote from: Marcellow on September 01, 2014, 07:56:04 PM
That's probably a honest question, most people just don't know.
It was definitely an honest question. Just felt weird to be asked that when I've had so much information about it for so long. It's hard to keep straight which things I know are specialized knowledge and which things are common knowledge.
One person at my school figured out only because she had classes with me before I transitioned. She has been the only person to ask me anything. She only wanted to know how HRT worked, and she was nice about it. Also she was shocked that I am calm and I smile a lot since she thought testosterone made people angry. Ha.
I am sorry that some of you guys have been getting some not-so-nice questions.
To the people who knew me as before and when I told them, most I get is oh does it mean you're gay? -.- and then it be will you be getting a penis?