I don't really know where to go to ask tbh, I'm hoping someone here can help answer all my questions (which I know I should have covered previously, but I really didn't know what to expect after I got home after the op!
1st of all, I have arranged for a district nurse to come help, however, they don't seem all that helpful. My hospital discharge letter states daily minimal personal hygiene assistance, however the district nurse I saw has refused this saying I would have to pay for another company to do this for me but I can't afford that! The district nurse is happy to change my dressings but has decided this would be better once every two days, not everyday. Unfortunately my discharge letter doesn't specifically state. Ideally I would like to have a shower daily and my dressings changed straight after which is impossible to do if the district nurse won't help me shower!
Another question is about the healing process, and also comfort! Lol first of all I am most comfortable lying down in bed in regards to my ass graft. But because of the abdominal incision running down to the phallus, it hurts like hell to get back up! Lol if I sit in a chair it's easier to get up, but very painful and uncomfortable to actually sit! >_< any tips? Also how long will I have to wait until I can sleep on my side?
Last question my leg muscles keep getting very crampy. Is this part of healing? Or am I not moving around enough?
Ok, one last question! Lol toilet comfort!!! Is there anything that can make sitting on the toilet any comfier?? Lol it hurts so much on my ass cheeks!! :(
Don't know of the above stuff but they make padded toilet seats.
Toilet seat extension. MTF i used one to help
Hydration could help the leg cramps.
Roll over on your side and push up with arms to get out of bed.
Not sure on how long the pain will last for us it was a good 6 months till things where better to sit.
Sorry about your nurse but it sounds more gender related discriminating then anything.
Take it as you need and if laying down is better then sitting then lay down, i spent lots of time in bed after.
Wow, Jon, my body is in pain just reading about yours. Sounds really, really tough. I agree with mrs izzy about the possible discrimination and also do the hydration. Also bananas are good for leg cramps as they are high in potassium, but I don't know if that relates here. If you like them though, might as well eat a couple.
I am not a medical professional, but how could changing a dressing less often be a GOOD thing? Just seems kind of strange. Not sure who you would call to get what you need from the nurse (the insurance company who is paying for the nurse? maybe you could ask the surgeon to write more detailed "orders", and then the nurse will have to follow it?...that one sounds pretty good). I'd call the surgeon's office and ask them to direct you. I feel like she is leaving you out there to dry and that just isn't right.
Good luck and hang in there.
Quote from: mrs izzy on August 17, 2014, 09:46:48 AM
Toilet seat extension. MTF i used one to help
Hydration could help the leg cramps.
Roll over on your side and push up with arms to get out of bed.
Not sure on how long the pain will last for us it was a good 6 months till things where better to sit.
Sorry about your nurse but it sounds more gender related discriminating then anything.
Take it as you need and if laying down is better then sitting then lay down, i spent lots of time in bed after.
Thanks for the tips! I think I might eBay a spongey toilet seat thing! Everytime I sit on the throne I have to hold myself up by the back of the seat :/ or clenching onto the sink! It's getting very tiring!
My side stitches don't hurt as much today so my new tactic of getting out of bed is to roll onto my front until my left (more stronger leg) catches the floor then I can use my right arm to stand myself up! This is now my paibfree way lol :) it's still hardest 1st thing in a morning though when everything it stiff!!! >_<
I battled again today with the same nurse to help me shower and he still refused saying it's not his job to do so :/ so my bf gave me a sponge down and helped me wash my hair. My main concern is just making sure my groin and ass area are clean for bandage changing :/ the nurse seems pretty damn sure I can do everything on my own since I can stand up and walk around! Oh well, looks like I'm just going to have to do what I can to keep myself clean!
I was about to suggest that you sort of roll out of bed, but you seem to have discovered this on your own.
Hang in there, buddy. You will get through this. And if you have to, you might complain about the nurse or, better yet, see if you can get a new one. No sense in making someone cranky if he's going to continue caring for you. And you can always complain after the fact.
In regards to my arm healing, how long before I can start using my fingers? Not lifting but just general minor use? At the minute, I still have lot of numbness in my hand and sharp painful 'tugs' when I do my finger tip excersizes, this normal? It's been 10 days since the op.
I wrote this list of tips for bottom surgery almost a year ago after I had my first stage. http://phalloblog.tumblr.com/post/59688646266/bottom-surgery-tips
Some may not apply since I had a slightly different procedure, and because you've already had surgery. hopefully some things there could be useful. I've documented the whole process on that blog if that helps.
On your original question, I didn't get butt grafts, but I did have some difficulties laying down/sitting up. Recliners are your best friend. Seriously. Also, when laying in bed, it was easiest for me to get up by rotating my body and putting my legs off the side, turning on my side a little and then standing up, if that makes sense.
Leg cramping does likely mean you arent moving enough, but water may help a bit. Try to get your legs moving as much as you can, even just in bed.
Using the toilet? It helped me to slouch back in the seat, but like I said I didn't have butt grafts.
I had an RFF Phallo, and no butt grafts, just one off my hip and of course, my forearm. I rocked the recliner for around 2.5 weeks after surgery to sleep and now I can sleep in bed. I've just been taking it easy and doing what I can. I have been doing the roll over, than sit up routine for getting out of bed, SO has been helping as well. I do move my legs, even if just when sitting, getting the stretching seems to help.
Toilet was easy, despite being a bit clumsy still.
Jon- Jon, have you got the email address for the London team? If so drop the main nurse an email asking for detailed advice on showering etc. Or even phone the ward where you had your op- I did that a couple of times after mine for advice. There is no easy way of sitting especially if you've got the staples still in. It does get easier though - at nearly four months I still find it difficult to sit for long tho cos it feels like I've got a thick rope across the top of my thighs! As for fingers carry on doing the exercises they gave you in hospital- remember not to turn your wrist until about four weeks post op.
No! No more sitting! I just had a morning of trying suffer through discomfort for the sake of some pc gaming entertainment and my right ass cheek started bleeding :/ back to bed for me!! -_-
It's nice to be able to talk to peopke who've gone through the same :) it's reassuring!
Al James, I don't have their email :( but I do have the hospitals number just in case :)
When you sit- are you remembering not to sit up straight cos that puts pressure on the scars? You need to sort of slump so most of the pressure is nearer the bottom of your spine. I'll pm you with the nurses e mail address
Thanks for her email addy :D
I've tried sitting in several different positions and slouching and raising my thighs and sitting on the very edge... The closest to comfort was to slouch that far into the chair I was practically laying down with my legs propping me up, stopping me from falling off, but that wasn't practical because my torso was horizontal lol
To be fair I'm fourteen weeks on an I still find it better to sit in my chair at work with my feet up on the table so I'm not putting all the pressure on my scars
I get the staples out today! So hoping that will eliviate a little discomfort! :D
Yeah it's great once they're out. If it's fully healed then start using moisturiser on it as soon as you can that really makes it better
Thanks for the tip! From what I can see it's all closed together nicely. I get a little bit of bleeding, but very slight. Will probs have to wait until Monday though for the moisturiser :/
It feels so good to have them out!! It still hurts to sit down for longer than 45mins-1hr but there's less 'scritch' for lack of a better word to describe it! Lol it wasn't the most dignified experience however :/
No- I still remember mine being taken out lol
Because it's bank holiday weekend, sara's not able to reply to my email until Tue :/
I'm starting to get sightly anxious about a few things :( hope you don't mind me firing a few questions! I'm slightly worried about movement in my hand since it was rebandaged on Friday. It has been difficult and painful for my thumb to stretch to my little finger when it wasn't that bothersome before. My hand is still just as swollen as it was a week ago, and just as numb. I can feel my fingers, but past the knuckles can't feel anything and my thumb is almost entirely numb. Is this normal? When will this go away? And when can I start moving my arm/wrist? I still sleep with it upright, but when relaxing I have it rested on a pillow. Also, when can I take an actual shower? I can't actually get in yet lol but in regards to getting my manhood and ass incision wet/soapy? I really need to clean down there!!!
My hand was still swollen for weeks after- I also found that after the re bandaging everything felt tighter than before. Keep doing the finger exercises tho- how often r u having the arm bandages changed? As for showering- were you given A shower at the hospital? I'm pretty sure that if it was ok a few days after surgery then it will be ok now. It's stupid - my op was only 14 weeks ago bit already I can't remember all the details of afterwards. I'm pretty sure you can't get your arm wet yet tho. Wrist movement is between 3 and four weeks post op- they should make you an appointment to see the London team round about the four to six week mark and Sara will pick up on anything then. Also numbness- part of the bottom of my thumb is still numb as is the skin on the inside of my wrist
That's so much more reassuring to know about the hand thing!! The arm bandage is getting changed once a week. I have heard that I may need to poke harley st in regards to my appt with them, I really haven't heard anything from them in regards appointments.
The hospital did give me a shower, but in regards the groin area, they didn't pay much attention to so I don't know what the rule is with soap down there :/ at the minute I'm having to stick to a soapy sponge down of my torso and legs as it's pretty much all I can manage. My shower is over the bath and I can't really get in lol. But yeah, I have to cover the arm with a plastic bag.
The frustrating thing is that I can't feel myself getting better, I still feel just as immobile and in as much pain and discomfort as when I left the hospital just over a week ago. I'm pretty sure I am healing, I just can't see it myself. It's such a slow recovery, I seriously underestimated. Right now I can't really see myself being back at work within the next four weeks! But I'm sure time will tell :)
I took six weeks off work and to be fair I needed all that time. If you've only been out of hospital a week you're really still at the beginning of recovery- this op takes a hell of a lot out of you. I have remembered that at one time I had to loosen the outer bandage on my arm and re wrap it cos I felt it was too tight. Take painkillers regularly- even if you don't think you need them. I tried to do too much the first few days I was at home and eventually had to admit that I was weaker than I wished I was. Sleep whenever you can it helps your body recover. I was lucky in that I had my wife to help me in and out of the bath- cos doing that with one arm is hilarious in a non funny way. I can't remember when I had my first bath though- I know I still had bandages on my arm. Things do get better but you have to listen to your body- there's no pushing the recovery on this one!
I live with my bf and he helps with loads! I doubt it's my arm that would be bothersome getting in/out the bath rather than my legs! I still can't lift them fully without that horrible pull on the ass wounds :/ I actually tried to stretch by squatting down the other day. Initially felt so good to bend my knees and stretch those leg muscles, but my ass muscles shouted at me afterwards lol
I'm running out of pain meds and ibuprofen so I should prob order some more tomorrow, and also sort out the ppc (think that's what it's called) cos it looks like I'll need it!
Yep the ppc definitely comes in handy- especially if like me the underside of your penis doesn't heal properly and you have daily dressings on it but they change their mind each week which dressings you need. The tight feeling on your legs seems to last forever- it was weeks before I could do my own shoe laces up- I seriously thought I was going to be like that for ever. I'm now at the stage where I can do squats at the gym but if I go a day without putting moisturiser on them then I suffer the next day.
It's really weird when you feel fine, try do some normal activity like putting some washing in the machine and it totally taking it out of you!!
Yep. I thought I was never going to get to the stage where I wasn't reminded about the surgery several times every day but it just seemed to happen a couple o weeks ago. I can finally sleep without a pillow between my legs and turn over in bed without waking up to re arrange everything that's flopped around. It's strange cos out of all the sites my arm looks the worse and yet it's the one that's bothered me the least- except for learning to sleep with my arm under the pillow to protect it from the cats jumping on the bed
I'm looking forward to hanging freely lol I'm minus a testicle because they didn't have any medium size in stock lol that bit always gives me a chuckle!!
I find my arm to be uncomfortable more than anything :/
Ohhhhhh, I am REALLY not looking forward to bottom surgery. The things we have to do to be right with ourselves...
Jonjon, if I were missing a ball after all of that, I'd be feeling pretty...testy.
Lol both are expected to be fitted at the next stage :)
It really does take it all out of you, much more than I expected! At one point, the first two days after the surgery I was so fed up I had doubts about what I'd done. But that blew over very quickly and if I had to do it again, I would without hesitation!!
That's good to hear. I wasn't really apprehensive about top surgery once I realized that I simply had to have it, but this seems different. I know I have to have it...and I'm apprehensive as hell. Maybe because, more than anything else I've done in transition, bottom surgery is truly for me and not anyone else (unless I miraculously wind up in a relationship again, and I'm not holding my breath).
Well, to update I had my arm bandages removed yesterday!! But Sara told me off for not using my hand as much as I should have been and not stretching out my elbow :( it hurts when I try though, and she's not very informative when I ask questions which is frustrating :/
Hoping I can get some more advice, my hand is still swollen (Sara said it can take months to reduce!!) but since I had a shower this morning and washed my arm for the first time, my hand has swollen up even more :/ can't tell if it's because of the shower or the extra excersize I've been trying (currently have a stress ball I'm trying to grip and strengthen).
I dont know, maybe I'm worrying over nothing :/ I'm just worried about having problems with getting movement back in my hand. My arm is healing really well though and I'm happy to see skin!! If you want I'll try and post pics of its progress later because, don't know about you, but I find its healing progress really interesting!! :D
Quote from: Arch on September 08, 2014, 01:02:42 AM
That's good to hear. I wasn't really apprehensive about top surgery once I realized that I simply had to have it, but this seems different. I know I have to have it...and I'm apprehensive as hell. Maybe because, more than anything else I've done in transition, bottom surgery is truly for me and not anyone else (unless I miraculously wind up in a relationship again, and I'm not holding my breath).
Anything can happen ;)
I can't tell you you're doing the right thing by going for bottom surgery because only you know that! But I don't have any regrets. Its passed my mind to leave it at that though, no more surgery lol because it's so draining and exhausting! But a few weeks/months of recovery for the rest of the ops out of a lifetime of enjoying the results is a small price imo :) up to now I'm very pleased with what's been done
If it's any help I found that if my hand started swelling then I just pointed it upwards for a while and it went back down again. Think I was at about the ten week mark when my hand looked fairly normal and about thirteen weeks when I could get my wedding ring back on
Thanks Al. I read someone else online blog last night and they said their swelling didn't go down for 10 months!!! Lol so that alone makes me feel better.
I tried to sleep last night stretching out my arm to straighten my elbow and that seems to have worked in easing it :) glad about that! Was worried I'd never straighten it again!! Lol
I think one more week and I'll be back at work :) I'm just starting to feel better mentally and see that light at the end of the recovery tunnel, leaving the hardest part behind :)