I am 30. I look 17. I know I am not alone in this among people on this forum and trans guys in general, so I was wondering how other people handled this verbally.
How often do you say the equivalent of "Actually, I am 30..." when it is obvious they are mistaken given how they act towards you?
I have a gnarly space in my teeth, so in two weeks I am getting braces on to fix it before I get even older and it gets worse (and 18 months of braces is much better than a lifetime of bad teeth), so this issue is particularly salient to me, as I am about to really, really look like a kid.
Well hasn't happened to me in a LONG time, but I guess since I correct people if they think I am female... Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.
--Jay
I don't really care other than I don't want to feel like am I being deceptive by not saying it when they stop just short of asking me what grade I am in.
If you have been in this situation, you know what I mean - there is no good chance to be all, "you are interacting with me and talking down to me as if I am way younger than you, but actually I am 30 and your peer" if they don't say something directly
I correct them, but it hasn't happened in a long time. I have been extremely lucky as far as my results on testosterone go. I don't have the typical "baby face."
Oh, dear. Spacerace, I think you are about to get a lot younger than seventeen.
Any chance you can do Invisalign?
I actually like it when they ask directly because then it is resolved. I will confirm with no problem "I am 30!" It is easier than correcting misgendering for sure.
The issue is when they are cagey and ask the types of questions an adult asks a teenager without directly saying something that creates an opportunity to tell them.
Maybe I should wear a t-shirt that says "1984 is the best year because I was born it" :X
Quote from: Arch on August 19, 2014, 01:55:09 PM
Oh, dear. Spacerace, I think you are about to get a lot younger than seventeen.
Any chance you can do Invisalign?
Yeah I am about to make it really worse, hah. Oh well! I wish I could do invisalign, but no chance. My adult canine teeth came in behind the baby ones, so they have to use the heavy duty wire ones to pull them into place.
I look forward to smiling at myself in the mirror with fixed teeth, a flat chest, and the 2nd puberty over in the next couple of years. It will all be done by the time I am 32, save for bottom surgery. Not bad I think. Maybe I will look 20 by then!
I guess maybe there is just no way correct tone and conversational nuance, so I should just learn to work it in to conversation somehow when they don't bring it up directly.
I just sorta feel deceptive just by existing right now for some reason. One person that saw my ID after a conversation like this looked like she had been duped because I didn't find a way to insert the "haha I'm really 30 and you're asking me if I like to swim with my friends" when she was taking my order.
Someone else the other day said, "Did you steal your mom's car, son?" I can work with that at least.
Pre-T, people always thought I was between 7-10 years younger than I really was... It was not fun.
I am 31, but everyone thinks I'm between 19 and 21. It doesn't bother me too much that people think I'm so young because when they learn that I am older than I really am, it sets me up for a bit of teasing. I don't really need to correct people on my age since so many of the people I know are so willing to blurt out, "Guess how old he is."
I get people disbelieve my ID, so there's not much I can do about that short of carryingy passport too. The only other time someone's said something was "You have to be 18 to work nights I think," but I couldn't be bothered to point out that I was 18, I'll just let him believe that I turned 18 when I go onto shift work.
I don't get annoyed or correct people. Since I'll be starting T soon I'm excited for the fact that I can pass as a young kid and have some fun. I never got to live as a full time boy so if I pass as a young teen then I will have some time to adjust. The only time I ever correct someone is if it's a police officer and I have yet to need to do that. I don't stress and try to enjoy my youth/young looking-ness. lol
I like it when people think that I am younger than my actual age.
Honestly, it doesn't bother me - but now that I've been on T for over 2 years, I don't look as young as I once did pre-T and when I first started.
i present female, and people still think i'm ten years younger. when i was in greece, only a week ago, someone asked if my (9yo) daughter was my sister. a 50 something old guy once didn't try to hit on me at a bar, because he thought i was too young. started university (again) at nearly 28, celebrating at a bar, someone who was there when the first course opened, asked me if i was really old enough to be there. hairstyle seems to matter most.
it's pointless to correct people, it's much better to get a good laugh at the mistaken's stupefied look when they finally realize. or enjoy being taken for a kid, while you still can. it's only their fault for assuming.
I never correct them because that's exactly what I would like them to think.
People only think I'm a few years younger so it doesn't bother me. But, in Japan there really is only three looks; young, haggard salary man and old. A lot of people here don't look their age at all so they are never surprised if I tell them my age. The guy at a local eatery is 70 and he doesn't look older than 45, so it's pretty normal here.
I don't know exactly when it happened but this stopped happening to me at some point in the recent past...I haven't been ID'ed in a while and salespeople who knock on my door have stopped asking if my parents are home XD (this one is annoying, I used to just say no and they would leave lols) Though I still feel like I look way younger than my age. I ended up going back to college so it hasn't been that much of a big deal, better for me to blend in with the young'uns. A few weeks ago I went into IT services and they asked me if I was a new staff member, it's very weird, it seems such a sudden change from being perceived as 16 to 25. I went down the veneers route rather than the braces route. I can tell you that future you're picturing with the flat chest and nice smile is pretty awesome :P makes all the awkward years worth it I reckon.
I am right there with you, I'm 29 and constantly being mistaken for a high school kid. In some pictures of me, I've been told I look like I'm 14.
I usually just tell them, "I'm actually way older than I look."
Quote from: makipu on August 20, 2014, 04:26:42 PM
I never correct them because that's exactly what I would like them to think.
thats the spirit ::)
Depends on the situation. I'm 23 and I look like a teen boy a lot of the time, especially if I am wearing a cap or baggy shorts. I don't like being talked down to, or taken less seriously because I "look like a kid"...when this happens I speak up and people find out pretty quick that I don't appreciate their tone. Even when people spark a normal convo with me because of my maturity and the fact that I live on my own and have a job, am going back to school soon etc they realize right away that I am at least of age.
In other situations, like neutral or positive situations when no one is treating me like a dumb juvenile, really don't mind and don't bother correcting. I missed out on being a teenage boy, and socializing with and bonding with other males ( I think a lot of us did ) it's something I always wanted to experience and I think that is my little way of getting that.
I'm 32, and I am pegged as a teenager on a daily basis. I still get carded for alcohol and such every time. People ask if I am old enough to drive. In conversation with new acquaintances (customers at work, with whom I will spend a few hours and then never see again), I am regularly told that I have so much potential, I have my whole life ahead of me, and I ought to go to college and keep learning, and work hard while I am young, it's so good that I got into this company/industry while I am young, and start investing money now while I am young, etc.
I do not correct them, and I do not feel that I am deceiving them. I don't talk or act like a teenager. They are the ones who are jumping to incorrect conclusions. My motivation to correct them would be hoping that they would stop talking down to me, and to instead treat me with respect as a peer. Does not work that way. Correcting them usually just leads to minor awkwardness. Not worth it. In the end, I don't really care what they think of me.
Not often. I've had a lot of people assume I am like 17-18 and I let it go unless someone says something that prompts me to talk about my age.
People always seem to get my age wrong but whether or not I correct them just depends on the mood I am in and where I am at. I guess people get it wrong so often because of my height and appearance.
People usually guess me younger; sometimes as much as 15-20 years. I consider it to be a compliment and correct them only if it is appropriate to the situation.
Well, I get taken as male a lot, but people have always thought I looked older than I was. Most likely, it came from how I carried myself (I act a lot more mature than most my age...in certain company, that is. xD )), and how properly I was able to speak. I was 15 and being asked at Olive Garden if I'd like wine. I was 16 and people assumed I was over 18 when they met me. Now, on the cusp of adulthood, I go to buy movie tickets, and don't get carded. (This happened the other day! I didn't know whether to be glad or mad that they thought I was old enough not to be carded for an R rated movie!) So, I guess I don't have that issue. Judging by the posts on this thread, I might be a little lucky to not be thought of as half my age.
I've always looked younger than I am--it used to bug me but now I take it as a compliment :) I do correct folks and they're usually quite surprised (I'm 44)
I don't correct them unless they ask, or they make multiple comments about my age/looks and I know I have to be around them a lot more or see them again. I went on vacation with a daughter of my mom's friend and she had assumed I was a young or mid-teen (I'm 19). Our vacation house was problem-ridden, and every worker who came by asked for my parents. I told the girl (woman, whatever) because she asked how old I was, but I didn't bother with the workers I might see once or twice for a few minutes.
It does get awkward sometimes, though. My hairdresser commented on how I must like getting the day off, and when I said that I'd graduated that summer, she assumed that I graduated young and must have scholarships and such. Neither are true, lmao. I didn't wore the her because I was happy to be passing and I look much to young to be a man.
I know I'll appreciate my baby face and slimness when I'm older, but like, I'm finally an adult who everyone sees as a middle schooler. Not overly fun right now.
I seem to be the odd one out when it comes to being aged much younger than I actually am. I've always been aged older. When I was 14, people would ask what I was studying in college. Sometime around 19 or 20, a real estate agent told me I sounded much older on the phone. She was probably telling the truth, I copy my uncle when on the phone and he does the very professional tone thing on the phone. I am now in my twenties and told a friend I'm actually about ten years younger than she thought I was. "No you're not." "Uh. Yes, I am."
It's not like I have wrinkles or anything, so I think it's mostly that I dress and talk professionally. I like being considered about ten years older than I am, it usually means being treated like I know a thing or two instead of being talked down to.
I am 21 now, started transitioning at 19, when I passed for 15-16, I still get people assuming I'm a teenager. I was at an ER for a broken toe and the doc thought I was under eighteen and tried to have my mom sign my form. It can be annoying but I don't bother correcting since I've come to accept it because I know as long as I have my acne I'm gonna look younger and its not worth the effort to be constantly correcting people.I am at about 2 years on T and am hoping the acne will go away by my year 3 mark.
Recently, a colleague of around my own age--but someone new to the profession--was talking to me as if I were much younger than he and about as inexperienced. I think he was working on his second career. Well, so am I! But I let him say his piece, and I didn't bother correcting him (that is, I didn't say I'd been doing this job for a long time). He did seem confused later when he found out some stuff that didn't jibe with the age he must have had in mind. At the time, I thought the conversation was proceeding in an odd direction. Looking back, I now see that he must have been doing some mental arithmetic on the fly but was coming up short.
I keep thinking that the gray at my temples is a dead giveaway that I'm not a young thing anymore, but lots of people are prematurely gray. I still have no wrinkles, and my beard has only a few gray hairs. So he might have thought I was in my early thirties or something.
Still, that's a far cry from seventeen.
Only if they specifically say something age-related. Sometimes you can just tell people think you're mad young. In those cases I just let it be. If someone says something like "this was probably before your time..." and then mentions something that I'm quite familiar with I'll correct them and inform them of my age.
Its never been a huge issue. Usually its one of amusement.
I'm 27 but can pass easily for late teenager but thats something i've always really liked. In fact i was worried about starting T cos i had heard that it "ages" you! I can see how it could be frustrating for people though if they really dont like being percieved as younger than they are, depends on the situation as well
This actually happened to me today at work, a girl asked me how old I was and when I told her I was 26 she was shocked haha she still didn't believe me after I told her my birthday and everything. She said she thought I was 19 or 20...I don't really let the age thing bug me so much. It's mainly whether they recognize me as male or not is the thing that will bug me.
Me and another trans guy were leaving base this evening. He got stopped and asked how old he was (they didn't believe he was old enough to be there), and I thought I'd miraculously appeared older than he was even though I'm two years younger. Then our friend asked how old he thought I was, and he said 13. Wow, yeah only five years off there mate! As we came back in he was still questioning me, he really didn't believe it, but I'll never see him again. On the other hand I nearly didn't get IDed for baccy this morning, but as I already had it out she asked to see it anyway.
I am 27 and get carded for everything. Two weeks ago I was carded while buying a rated R movie. I got stopped at the casino twice in a row, one guy interrogated me for almost 5 minutes, I was with my brother and his girlfriend, both 3 years younger than me. If I go to the liquor store with my brother he usually doesn't get carded, I always do. I have been working with the same people for 9 years and some of them still think I'm younger than 20. The only time I correct people is when I'm in a situation where I have to. I usually just take it as a compliment.