I moved in to college on friday. I haven't got myself to tell people that I like girls nevertheless that I have gender issues. ..the idea of telling people seems so scary even though I know I should do it. How do I get past my fears and come out?
Me i work on this with my therapist.
When i did come out i used a friends and family letter.
I told each one but also gave the letter being it was more in depth and informational at the same time.
The fear is hard but we need to not fear rule our live on a daily basis.
When I came out the first time to my friend, I started by asking what the best way would be to go about changing one's name (not legally, but personally), then I suggested the name and everything was very positive. Things progressed from there. If you know open people, they'll likely be happy for you. If you're nervous, just bring up things that might clue people in to it or talk about a trans related subject and see how people react.
I think that come out is a hard subject because of the unexpected factor, the fear of rejection makes it even worse sometimes. By now only my parents and three friend of mine know about me (and my gender therapist off course).
The first friend that I told, was a girl. I said to her in the facebook that I needed to talk to her personally about something that no one knows, but I needed to say before I explode, and ask her to talk to me if she could. When we did meet a day after, I was so shy that I could not think how to tell her, then after talk by a while, I start to say that I like to be delicate, like the cute things, like the woman behavior and clothes and shoes in a way that I wish I could have born a girl, and I was ashamed about that. She was so cute and encourage me to not be ashamed of what I fell. The conversation was very nice
After a wile i talked to my parents because I was about to explode again, and this time things does not went well, and I had to step back. Today I tell them that it's all right with me, and hide my plans to correct my body as I am a mtf girl.
Talking about ways to come out, I want to know too. What I think that helps is to be sincere with you and the person you want to talk. A letter may help, I liked this advice izzy, I think I'll use it. May be a video that tells about the transgender reasons and fears would help too, may be even a history.
kittylover,
I got the impression this is your first year in college. If so, you probably don't have established friendships yet. Going to college is a big transition in itself and others are looking to see how they fit in. This may NOT be the time to tell people in general. Reactions, especially from people who haven't had a chance to get to know you in any way at all.
If this isn't your first year and you've got some established friendships, I'd still start small with your best friends first.
And then again, college was soooo long ago for me that my thoughts have been cryogenically stored and are probably still frozen. Still, I'd suggest go slow and carefully.
Good luck! In the long run you need to be who you are. You can be and you will be. Friends hopefully will still be friends. Others... well, who cares?
Quote from: OlderTG on September 14, 2014, 07:50:54 PM
kittylover,
I got the impression this is your first year in college. If so, you probably don't have established friendships yet. Going to college is a big transition in itself and others are looking to see how they fit in. This may NOT be the time to tell people in general. Reactions, especially from people who haven't had a chance to get to know you in any way at all.
If this isn't your first year and you've got some established friendships, I'd still start small with your best friends first.
My thoughts also...
Best wishes also, college can be a great experience..