Hello all! I'm littleredrobinhood - but since that's so long, you can just call me Robin, Rob, Robin Hood, Red.. Basically, so long as you make it clear you're referring to me, anything is fine. :P
And with that out of the way, I suppose I ought to include a little info about myself.. Hmm, but where to start..?
Well, I'm 22 years old, and I'm a trans man.
I'm not "out", though - unless you count that one clumsy attempt I made a few years back, only to go back into hiding... Which I wish I hadn't done, honestly. I fear I won't be taken seriously if I ever work up the courage to come out again.
In addition to being closeted, I haven't transitioned in any form, either - I'm not taking hormones and I haven't had any surgeries. And to be honest? I'm not sure if I'll be taking that route, anyhow. But who knows - maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I just know that I don't believe that the decision to opt out of HRT and/or SRS makes anyone "less" of their gender, and I find it sad that some people will actually insist that you can't be "this" unless you do x,y,z things (or at least plan on doing x,y,z things).
But anywho, here's a little background info about me and how/when I discovered I was trans, for any who are curious:
I believe I was around 14-15 years old when I entered the "questioning" phase.. I seemed to have developed this "weird" habit at around that age where I could only imagine myself as a guy.
At first, I assumed it was caused by how I would "roleplay" as male characters in these little stories me and an internet friend would do... But then I discovered the term "Gender Identity Disorder" through someone on the same forum I roleplayed on.
I never spoke to the guy, but he kept talking about this "disorder", and it got me curious.. And so I looked it up on Google, and honestly there were a lot of things in what I found that didn't "fit" me.. But still, I thought to myself "Maybe this is why I keep thinking of myself as a boy? Maybe I'm like that guy?".
I was scared to actually be like "that guy", though, so I was in denial for a long time and kept coming up with "reasons" why I'm not trans, such as:
The fact that I had a very "typical" childhood for a "girl". I loved the color pink, anything that glittered, fairies, princess, dresses and bows.. Never once during my childhood did I stop and think "Wait a minute! All this girly stuff just doesn't feel right!".
Which just didn't fit the criteria of what being trans was at the time. I mean, anytime I'd hear a story about a trans woman explaining how she knew she was a girl, she'd always describe her childhood to be exactly like mine was.. feminine.
I had never heard a trans man describe how he "knew" he was a boy, but I just assumed that the opposite must be true for trans guys - that their childhoods must be masculine. That they had to be total "tomboys" to be trans.
Fast forward to around age 17-18, and it finally hit me: "But wait - cis guys can be feminine and still be men, right? So why can't trans men?".
I finally realized that masculinity wasn't a requirement to be a trans man, and femininity wasn't a requirement to be a trans woman. That society refuses to see our identity as valid due to our appearance. That the only way they'll "accept" us is if we restrict ourselves to a stereotype of what our identity dresses like, speaks like, acts like, etc.
And that's when the denial slowly started to chip away, and I started to come to accept myself as who I am - a feminine man.
Mind you, I still have my days where I'm feeling anxious and think to myself "But what if I'm wrong??" (which is part of the reason why I'm still in the closet) - but those days are much less common than they used to be.
And you know what? Even though the whole mind-body-mismatch tends to be a big pain in the neck, I suppose I'm a bit lucky to have been born the way I was.. I mean, had I been born a cis boy, I'd have been the victim of a lot of bullying for being as feminine as I was/am. So at least I was free to enjoy that feminine childhood of mine - I know many didn't get that chance.
Welcome to Susan's Robin :)
It's great you've come to accept yourself, in my opinion that's one of the hardest steps.
If you need anything, a place to chat or if you have any questions this is the place to be! I'll be looking forward to seeing you around :)
-Matt
Welcome to Susan's, Robin. Thank you for sharing.
:)
Welcome to the site Robin. =) Hope you enjoy it. =)
Welcome to the site! Honestly, I think this may be my favourite intro ever. You brought up a lot of really great points. Looking forward to seeing you more around here.
Welcome to Susan's family littleredrobinhood
Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for the site info...
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Safe passage on your path, popcorn?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F33a6ouf.jpg&hash=70038a414397cf8547aa00ee9064953fc318e096)
Izzy
Hello and welcome..! :)
Aw shucks, Pikachu! (love the username, btw) I wasn't trying to impress nobody, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. ;D
And to everyone else, thank you for all the warm welcomes! :D I'm happy to see the people here are so friendly.