I was just sitting and thinking.. What if some highly trained, professional, experienced, bla, bla, bla etc etc doctor told you that you are not trans and should not seek further medication. (Tho maybe get a therapist for depression reasons)
What would you do if that happened?
~A~
Move on to the next doctor.
Actually, why would I even be asking a doctor? Shouldn't I be starting with a gender therapist? Isn't that how this usually works?
You can always get a second opinion. :)
Yes, I meant after you already had a gender therapist. The person who tells you is some very huge professional, like big name in the medical world. Not just any doctor.
This has actually happened. Hopefully it's happening less and less. No one can tell you whether you're trans or not.
It reminds me of the Oracle's quote in "The Matrix."
"No one can tell you you're in love (Trans) you just know it...through and through. Balls...to bones."
Get a new Therapist. Seriously! If you go in for gender related issue's strong enough to make you go in, um, chances are you have a gender issue. Gender Dysphoria is notorious for depression, anxiety and other assorted mood and emotional disorders. That is why I sought out a therapist with gender issue experience because I had been diagnosed with depression, PTSD (career oriented), anxiety and sleep problems by a regular therapist and all the drugs in the world did not help. Being on HRT has resolved all of my issue's and I have not had, but one or two isolated PTSD flashbacks. I look at it this way, if you are not really trans if you take "E" you will notice it immediately. :)
I would be, like, ::) :icon_pissed: and I would walk out.
I would explain to then that I knew were a bag of d**ks where and, that when they where done s**king them all they could have an opinion. just cause they are a shrink doesn't mean they aren't prejudiced.
I'd imagine in a few decades, or centuries, science will have advanced enough to look inside your brain and figure out if you have gender dysphoria or not. (Of course, it may require some sort of brain surgery)
If that were to happen, would it be possible to tell somebody if they had the disorder or not? Or if their depression, feelings, etc may be caused by something else? These are just what I've been thinking as I lay in bed. (Which is when I think the most and the deepest)
It's my understanding that a good, responsible therapist is never going to tell you whether or not you're trans. They will talk to you about it and you will eventually come to the conclusion yourself. If you're already certain of your identity, then they are there to confirm that and recommend you to an endocrinologist to begin hormone therapy. I don't believe an endocrinologist is supposed to tell you you're not trans. It's not like there's some simple blood test or something they can run to determine your transness. If there was, life would be way simpler. It's something only you can know. If any doctor claims they know more about your gender identity than you do, drop them ASAP, as they are not conducting themselves in a professional manner.
I like Pikachu's answer. :p
Let me ask possibly one of the easiest and hardest questions at the same time:
Would you, honestly, ever quit? What is something that might make you quit? My answer to this is simply: Death. I'd prefer to stay away from death, so if I knew, I was sure that I would die if I continued, that is the ONLY thing that could make me stop. I tend to believe a crappy life is better than no life at all.
How about all of you?
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 09:51:16 PM
Yes, I meant after you already had a gender therapist. The person who tells you is some very huge professional, like big name in the medical world. Not just any doctor.
Giving respect or deference to someone simply because they have a big name or are perceived as smart, it occurs to me that at that point you're pretty much surrendering to faith that the person in question is in fact respectable and/or smart. This, speaks to why we need to think and trust ourselves in such matters because the person in question could have faded long ago and is trading on the name they once built or be having a bad/off day today or they were always incompetent but made so much noise they rose through the ranks getting respect they never deserved in the first place.
Honestly I would rather die than live how I did before. I mean it.
Misato - I did not mean just because of they're title, I meant like if they had some sort of "evidence"
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 26, 2014, 10:12:08 PM
Honestly I would rather die than live how I did before. I mean it.
I'm on the fence about that. All my life I've been scared of death, and what comes after. Possible reincarnation or afterlife? Or just disappearing from existence altogether? And not having the ability to spectate over those who still lived and would later live. And then the end of the world, millions of years from now. The possibility of living on another planet, in a new galaxy, or simply all intelligent life wiped out completely? All hard to bare to me. This is only the beginning of the thoughts I've had of death. And I don't exactly want to find out.
It's hard to say... What part of transition would I have to cease? What part would cause me to die? If I was unable to take hormones because of some medical condition, I would still transition without them. I obviously would not be quite as feminine, but I'd do what I could. There are lots of aspects of transition that don't require medical intervention. Particularly, with enough practice and dedication, you can make some pretty miraculous changes to your voice. I've heard many amazing vocal transformations without resorting to surgical methods, although it is quite a lot of work sometimes to achieve it. Voice and mannerisms go a long way towards being read as your target gender. Then there are the changes to appearance you can make without medical aid, as well, such as growing your hair out/purchasing a good wig, learning to apply makeup and what works for you, clothes, etc.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 26, 2014, 10:12:08 PM
Honestly I would rather die than live how I did before. I mean it.
That's where I was at in 06, 07. I was pretty desperate about getting the ball rolling. (finally!) If that had not happened when it did, I probably wouldn't be here right now.
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 09:59:42 PM
It's my understanding that a good, responsible therapist is never going to tell you whether or not you're trans. They will talk to you about it and you will eventually come to the conclusion yourself. If you're already certain of your identity, then they are there to confirm that and recommend you to an endocrinologist to begin hormone therapy. I don't believe an endocrinologist is supposed to tell you you're not trans. It's not like there's some simple blood test or something they can run to determine your transness. If there was, life would be way simpler. It's something only you can know. If any doctor claims they know more about your gender identity than you do, drop them ASAP, as they are not conducting themselves in a professional manner.
True. My therapist just wanted to know the specifics about my life, family relationships and how all of that related to my gender issues. My (first) endo just wanted to have the appropriate bloodwork done and a letter from my therapist. Both of those things were a piece of cake.
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 10:20:17 PM
It's hard to say... What part of transition would I have to cease? What part would cause me to die? If I was unable to take hormones because of some medical condition, I would still transition without them. I obviously would not be quite as feminine, but I'd do what I could. There are lots of aspects of transition that don't require medical intervention. Particularly, with enough practice and dedication, you can make some pretty miraculous changes to your voice. I've heard many amazing vocal transformations without resorting to surgical methods, although it is quite a lot of work sometimes to achieve it. Voice and mannerisms go a long way towards being read as your target gender. Then there are the changes to appearance you can make without medical aid, as well, such as growing your hair out/purchasing a good wig, learning to apply makeup and what works for you, clothes, etc.
Is it weird that I've never had an interest in makeup? I just don't find it very appealing. Tho clothes, hair, voice are all a definite yes. Love it.
Actually there are studies on the Trans Brain. xD they are definitive. No one seems to care. but we are hard wired. a simple scan could pick us out.
http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704 (http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704)
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:23:34 PM
Is it weird that I've never had an interest in makeup? I just don't find it very appealing. Tho clothes, hair, voice are all a definite yes. Love it.
Nah, it's not weird. There are plenty of cis girls out there who don't wear makeup, too. I just included it in that list as it's something that can help you pass better (if applied correctly, of course.)
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 10:24:58 PM
Actually there are studies on the Trans Brain. xD they are definitive. No one seems to care. but we are hard wired. a simple scan could pick us out.
http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704 (http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704)
Oh wow.. That's a little scary.
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 10:26:52 PM
Nah, it's not weird. There are plenty of cis girls out there who don't wear makeup, too. I just included it in that list as it's something that can help you pass better (if applied correctly, of course.)
Yes. Ever watched Full House? It's one of my favorite shows. One of the characters advice on makeup is to make it look like you're not wearing any.
(I know it's scripted, but as far as I know, it's pretty darn good advice)
I actually had that happen. I was seeing a doctor who was convinced that I'm not transgender but instead my bipolar had advanced and was manifesting itself as transgender.
I changed doctors to someone who has experience with transgender people and she said herself that my old doctor was crazy. Three sessions later I had my recommendation for HRT.
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 10:24:58 PM
Actually there are studies on the Trans Brain. xD they are definitive. No one seems to care. but we are hard wired. a simple scan could pick us out.
http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704 (http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304854804579234030532617704)
So, like, if they did a scan of a crowd from a satellite, they could pick out who has gender dysphoria and who does not?
Quote from: kariann330 on August 26, 2014, 10:30:13 PM
I actually had that happen. I was seeing a doctor who was convinced that I'm not transgender but instead my bipolar had advanced and was manifesting itself as transgender.
I changed doctors to someone who has experience with transgender people and she said herself that my old doctor was crazy. Three sessions later I had my recommendation for HRT.
It's funny how they could've been trained the exact same way... Yet they have completely different conclusions for the same person.
I would rather live 10 days in total freedom and emotional security than 100 years miserable and in hiding. :)
Also Suiside. No. call me if you ever really think about it. .
Makeup. Its shocking how many girls can't even do make up these days. xD No, wearing makeup is actually growing uncommon. xD
HUGGGGGGSSSSSSSS
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:30:16 PM
So, like, if they did a scan of a crowd from a satellite, they could pick out who has gender dysphoria and who does not?
don't worry the people that would use it baddly don't want to do anything to legitimize us
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 26, 2014, 10:33:18 PM
I would rather live 10 days in total freedom and emotional security than 100 years miserable and in hiding. :)
Well, if you put it that way... Sort of sounds like being able to do whatever you want (then being assassinated or something) versus being some fugitive in a genocide... Like a Jew during the Holocaust.
Sure you don't want to PM her that instead, Jennifer? The whole forum may be calling you. Not to mention anybody who happens to stumble across this site.
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 10:33:47 PM
Also Suiside. No. call me if you ever really think about it.
Makeup. Its shocking how many girls can't even do make up these days. xD No, wearing makeup is actually growing uncommon. xD
HUGGGGGGSSSSSSSS
I did years ago but I haven't thought about suicide in awhile. As I said before, death scares me. I believe in technical terms, "I have a fear of oblivion".
I don't want to join those who have suicided in this community... And I hope I never want to. Unfortunately, we leave in just about the crappiest society ever.
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 10:39:23 PM
Sure you don't want to PM her that instead, Jennifer? The whole forum may be calling you. Not to mention anybody who happens to stumble across this site.
Well suicide applies to everyone, not just me.
I believe the suicide rate of trans is 5x higher than that of those who are not?
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:42:18 PM
Well suicide applies to everyone, not just me.
I believe the suicide rate of trans is 5x higher than that of those who are not?
I've heard it's higher, but I don't remember the exact numbers. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure she was okay with the entire forum seeing it. Also, iiMTF, you're welcome to PM me if there's ever anything troubling you that you'd like to talk about in private.
Ah, I see she did remove it from her original post. iiMTF, would you please edit it out of your quote as well?
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 10:47:21 PM
I've heard it's higher, but I don't remember the exact numbers. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure she was okay with the entire forum seeing it. Also, iiMTF, you're welcome to PM me if there's ever anything troubling you that you'd like to talk about in private.
Thanks. One thing I notice about the word private, tho: A lot of my secrets I've never told people in real life, but I have shared it over the internet to people I don't know in real life. It's odd how that works. I guess I just feel like being judged won't have as great an effect on my life?
Quote from: Pikachu on August 26, 2014, 10:49:48 PM
Ah, I see she did remove it from her original post. iiMTF, would you please edit it out of your quote as well?
Alright, I edited it out :p
Quick question, has anybody else used the Tapatalk app to view these forums? I use Tapatalk whenever I'm on my phone... I tend to not ever use my laptop on here.
What do they know anyway. Only you know yourself.
@FrancisAnn Hi! I think we are all hitting refresh on the same posts. does it make anyone else feel a bit schizo to be in 5 conversations at once. I mean I know they are stretched out. like in slow time. But I keep thinking of it like I'm hopping form character to character in a game in kind of a round robin so I can play all the parts.
If a professional said that, I'd just think he got his degree from a cereal box. I'm a woman, who was unfortunately born male, so by definition I'm transgender. Its just the simple English definition of the word. The M on my birth certificate proves without question that I'm transgender.
Now on the other hand, if this professional were saying that I'm a male and not a female, then I'd be insulted--just as insulted as any other woman would be.
Quote from: riversong on August 26, 2014, 11:03:31 PM
If a professional said that, I'd just think he got his degree from a cereal box. I'm a woman, who was unfortunately born male, so by definition I'm transgender. Its just the simple English definition of the word. The M on my birth certificate proves without question that I'm transgender.
Now on the other hand, if this professional were saying that I'm a male and not a female, then I'd be insulted--just as insulted as any other woman would be.
You said by definition, but by definition, transgender in someone who wants to be that of the other gender. A transsexual is someone born with a female mind and a male body, or vice versa.
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 11:02:21 PM
@FrancisAnn Hi! I think we are all hitting refresh on the same posts. does it make anyone else feel a bit schizo to be in 5 conversations at once. I mean I know they are stretched out. like in slow time. But I keep thinking of it like I'm hopping form character to character in a game in kind of a round robin so I can play all the parts.
Haha... I am lol
My god, I just wish my mom would book a darn gender therapist appointment. I'm going through male puberty ATM, and it NEEDS TO STOP!!! o.o
Oh ->-bleeped-<-. girl you have the golden opportunity. don't wait. trust me. if you don't stop it now, you'll regret it later.
-On multiple conversations. I do cntrl-tab cntrl-r and wait to see if the black fist goes away. xD
I know!! That's why I'm trying to hurry my mom up... I only have so long before male puberty ruins it. Though one trans girl I know, she not only passes but looks like she was always a girl... She was on blockers since like 11 I think and started HRT at 13
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:53:04 PM
Quick question, has anybody else used the Tapatalk app to view these forums? I use Tapatalk whenever I'm on my phone... I tend to not ever use my laptop on here.
Tried it, not a big fan of Tapatalk. If I'm away from my desktop, I use Firefox on a tablet. I like the forum's interface in the browser. Regarding the original question, what if a professional said I am not trans? Well that would really suck because I am. I would feel obliged to seek at least two other opinions. Would I quit? I think I'd give up breathing first. Less painful, you know?
Black fist?
Hmm. Tapatalk needs a few features added to make it easier... But I still like it. Easy to navigate and easy to tell when somebody posts
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 11:06:41 PM
You said by definition, but by definition, transgender in someone who wants to be that of the other gender. A transsexual is someone born with a female mind and a male body, or vice versa.
Never heard of that distinction before, but ok :P I'm
transsexual by definition in that case.
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 11:02:21 PM
@FrancisAnn Hi! I think we are all hitting refresh on the same posts. does it make anyone else feel a bit schizo to be in 5 conversations at once. I mean I know they are stretched out. like in slow time. But I keep thinking of it like I'm hopping form character to character in a game in kind of a round robin so I can play all the parts.
Jennifer, it's funny. I'll go for weeks & not read or post anything then sometimes I just feel like being a chatty Kathy about everything. I hope you are well.
Anyone mind telling me how many posts I have? Tapatalk doesn't tell me.
94. and the black fist is at the bottem of my posts it's the sign for transgender feminists xD
I think I may be crossing chat streams now. this may be going nonlinear. anyone that not on all 5 posts is gonna get confused. or if your not reading in real time. OMG it's proto encryption!
Quote from: Jennifer.L on August 26, 2014, 11:30:20 PM
94. and the black fist is at the bottem of my posts it's the sign for transgender feminists xD
Ohh. And thanks. This morning I had like 57... Amazing how that happened lol
I sure wish there was a cure and decisive diagnosis for TS. For now I'm happy enough that at least there are proven treatments.
If a doctor is closed to a proven treatment...then by definition they aren't professional. Movin on.
OH. I had an important question I forgot to ask. Now, I am not sure how this works. Is it normal for me to still be attracted to girls at this point? I sort of remind myself it's pointless to think about.. But I can't stop myself. There's just one girl in my class that I really like... Is this normal?
Quote from: Missy~rmdlm on August 26, 2014, 11:39:59 PM
I sure wish there was a cure and decisive diagnosis for TS. For now I'm happy enough that at least there are proven treatments.
If a doctor is closed to a proven treatment...then by definition they aren't professional. Movin on.
I believe, in technical terms, there is a cure for ts: srs. But no actual diagnosis, unfortunately, yea.
Read my above post pplz! I need answers!! Lol
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 11:41:27 PM
OH. I had an important question I forgot to ask. Now, I am not sure how this works. Is it normal for me to still be attracted to girls at this point? I sort of remind myself it's pointless to think about.. But I can't stop myself. There's just one girl in my class that I really like... Is this normal?
Gender has nothing to do with preference at all. If you are attracted to someone you should explore it further. :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 26, 2014, 11:47:32 PM
Gender has nothing to do with preference at all. If you are attracted to someone you should explore it further. :)
I realize that but... I have never thought of myself as gay/lesbian. Plus, I am very sure she isn't lesbian either.. The part that worries me is I've never been attracted to a boy and I still am not... I probably sound so stupid right now. Do I??
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 11:16:20 PM
Though one trans girl I know, she not only passes but looks like she was always a girl... She was on blockers since like 11 I think and started HRT at 13
Wow. I wish that I could have done that.
I might still be able to do that, if I can get a gender therapist appointment! <3
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 11:54:52 PM
I realize that but... I have never thought of myself as gay/lesbian. Plus, I am very sure she isn't lesbian either.. The part that worries me is I've never been attracted to a boy and I still am not... I probably sound so stupid right now. Do I??
Just conflicted. It will eventually work itself out though. I do think you may be over thinking it a little too much though when you try to think what other people are thinking. A therapist will really help you through this. They really are valuable in transitioning. I thought being a Paramedic I knew everything there was to know about transition especially HRT, but I have learned a lot and continue to do so each session. :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 27, 2014, 12:03:11 AM
Just conflicted. It will eventually work itself out though. I do think you may be over thinking it a little too much though when you try to think what other people are thinking. A therapist will really help you through this. They really are valuable in transitioning. I thought being a Paramedic I knew everything there was to know about transition especially HRT, but I have learned a lot and continue to do so each session. :)
Overthinking things is the only thing I know how to do.
In the games I play, I always make my character a girl (I even did this before I knew what trans even was) and recently a few of my friends have seen it and asked me like, "Dude. Why the heck do you look like a girl."
This puts me in the uncomfortable position of doing something I hate to do: Lie. One of my friends who asked me I just didn't know what to say... I didn't have an answer, I wasn't prepared for the question because somebody who doesn't know me irl had called me "her" and "Lucy" infront of him.
Another one I told him I got hacked.
I've just had a lot of close calls.. And that first one won't stop asking me about it.. Face to face. I do everything I can to get out of the conversation... I just can't answer!!
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:42:18 PM
Well suicide applies to everyone, not just me.
I believe the suicide rate of trans is 5x higher than that of those who are not?
I've read that it's closer to 25x
It's around 1.5% for the general population and over 40% for transgender
Quote from: iiMTF on August 26, 2014, 10:13:19 PM
Misato - I did not mean just because of they're title, I meant like if they had some sort of "evidence"
I stand by my answer. :)
That's bullsh..t. No one can tell you if you're trans or not. That something YOU should know. The professional should only help you with the process you go through( Atleast in germany it's handled that way). I would look for another professional in such a situation.
Quote from: Juliett on August 27, 2014, 04:28:00 AM
I've read that it's closer to 25x
It's around 1.5% for the general population and over 40% for transgender
Oh wow. I think I got the 5x from an old trans support/facts video that someone suggested to me. But... Over 40%?! That's just crazy!!
Sure is. Lets try to get it down to at least 1% shall we?
If a professional said I wasn't trans I would say he wasn't a proffessional as he thought.
Quote from: Emmaline on August 27, 2014, 08:07:00 AM
Sure is. Lets try to get it down to at least 1% shall we?
If a professional said I wasn't trans I would say he wasn't a proffessional as he thought.
Exactly ;)
It depends. Would they still write my HRT letter? Probably not, and if not, screw 'em. I'll find someone else to confirm officially what I already know.
(When I first started, I was terrified of exactly this, because I was unsure of *myself.* I'm pretty sure I'm really trans by now, though!)
Quote from: iiMTF on August 27, 2014, 12:17:44 AM
In the games I play, I always make my character a girl (I even did this before I knew what trans even was) and recently a few of my friends have seen it and asked me like, "Dude. Why the heck do you look like a girl."
This puts me in the uncomfortable position of doing something I hate to do: Lie. One of my friends who asked me I just didn't know what to say... I didn't have an answer, I wasn't prepared for the question because somebody who doesn't know me irl had called me "her" and "Lucy" infront of him.
Another one I told him I got hacked.
I've just had a lot of close calls.. And that first one won't stop asking me about it.. Face to face. I do everything I can to get out of the conversation... I just can't answer!!
Back in the day, before I realized I was trans and had no real explanation I told people I preferred to look at girl's butts than guy's butts. True, but only part of the story
I'd be pretty happy, but since it won't make me feel any different, I'd need an explanation. If there is anything that can disguise itself as Gender Dysphoria, I'd want to know.
I would tell them to go to hell because I know myself well enough to even seek out a therapist.
I honestly just look back at my entire life and say ..." You know what, I been dressing and feeling like a girl since I was 5, I'm not crazy, try as I might 25 years later I still feel the same and hate seeing a boy in the mirror." So I don't need any super smart professional telling me who or how I am or suppose to feel. I love god with all my heart and he knows it even after I say this. "Not even GOD will tell me that I am not transgender and that I shouldn't transition". I've been baptized and he knows where my faith and heart lies. I may not agree to every word the bible says nor should I with everything a "professional" tells me. I told my therapist, I'm tired of BSing around and want to start HRT, I'm a trans girl, it may be trans but at least I'm a girl". She said that was exactly what she needed to hear and wrote my letter for HRT. So to you I say this. Go with what your gut tells you. *Carpe Diem*
To "seize the day" and/or a certain moment in time.
To put aside all differences, all fears, all worries, and just go for it.
To make the most out of that part of time.
Carpe Diem more often or you will miss out on life and never truely be happy.