I'm experiencing something new...and painful with my transition. It has to do with my sexuality...
When I thought I was a male I had sexual impulses but honestly they felt more like obsessions or simply "needs" I had and needed to satisfy.
Now that I've discovered who I truly am, for the first time in my life I'm experiencing true sexual connection and attraction. It's wonderful. I've never been able to connect with my sexuality and "feel" what it's like to be truly sexual.
The problem is...I'm still male...physically...
I'm having all of these intense feelings and desire now...but I can't see myself being intimate with anyone because I don't feel comfortable in my body...
It's been years since I've been intimate with anyone and now it feels like it's going to be "many" more years before I can be intimate again. It hurts...
Anyway, just needed to share...
I know exactly how you feel baby! I am trying so hard to relax until SRS. I am scared I might meet someone before then and I don't want them to see me now if and when things get hot and heavy. I only want that special someone to see the post op me so there will be no memory of the other thingy. I know that is probably crazy or something, but I want to be a complete woman first even at the cost of missing Mr. Right. So yes, I totally get where you are coming from. :)
Yeah, I can totally relate to that since I identified myself as completely aromantic asexual before HRT jump started my puberty again and it took me about two weeks to have a crush on somebody. Very annoying since I had gotten used to the practicality of not having sexual or romantic desires. Now I have to face the kind of stuff other people face and I would've much rather skipped all of that.
But I don't despair over it, and I'd encourage you to not do so either. The thing about it is that if you can really find somebody who you connect with and get close to, the question of incorrect genitals fades more to the background. Not that I've experienced it myself, but I've both witnessed and heard about it from others. It might still mean that touching the genitals is still a big no-no, as it is in my case, but that's not the only way to be sexual with someone by far. I'm kind of glad that I'm kinky, so expressing sexuality through alternative methods is not uncommon at all with kinky folk. I'm also glad to be attracted to women since they seem to be much more open about experiencing sexuality through other ways as well, although I am aware that this is a gross generalization and I've also had some ultimately unpleasant encounters with girls with whom this was not the case at all.
Thanks you two...
Quote from: zog on August 27, 2014, 03:33:38 AM
Yeah, I can totally relate to that since I identified myself as completely aromantic asexual before HRT jump started my puberty again and it took me about two weeks to have a crush on somebody.
I think the fact that I've been asexual and aromantic for the last couple of years is also making this a little hard for me as well. I'm glad you mentioned that as it gives me a different perspective now.
You're right about the kink community. I haven't been active with my community for a while but once I start becoming social again I plan to reconnect with everyone.