No my dears I am not talking about my bra.
I had an interesting conversation with a wonderful mtf friend of mine last night, a friend of this forest too.
She mentioned in passing "I'd rather stuff the male than the female."
An unfortunate image.
For the conversations that follow, no invalidation of any kind towards any gender identities are tolerable. This is a nonbinary discussion where all are welcome, and both the binary and the nonbinary perspectives will be respected. For the good of all trans.
I do not wish to engage in any controversy or triggers for our mtf's, ftm's or NB's. Just what brings us together. There is no criticism of the binary identity here.
So, now that that is out of the way... I think we are fortunate in that we do not stuff anything. Yet, there is a tendency in me to get mad at or invalidate the male. Early on, when I was fighting being trans, and I would get mad at and invalidate the female. Now I understand that both are needed and have beauty.
So do you fight with your birth gender? Are you mad at them? How have you been able to integrate the components we have into our cores? Do you try to stuff emotions, perceptions, or do you roll with them? How did you come to terms with being able to have more than one gender component?
Blessings my dears. I outed myself today to a coworker. Wow. Only this forum could have given me the courage to come out like that.
Nails out, hair growing way too slowly, wig waiting, heart open, and loving everyone at Susans.
Our diversity, our uniqueness, is our common strength, always to be celebrated, never to be disdained or under valued.
For the good of all trans.
Spent my whole day out at various male/female environments in my usual uniform, skinny jeans, bra and woman's snug fitting T. Talking in my naturally male tenor voice, no pretenses and didn't receive any negative looks or comments. But there are times when I am in a heavily male dominated situation when I tend to stuff and downplay the female side just as when I am in a totally female dominated situation and I tend to downplay the overt masculinity. It's more a matter of conscientiously making an effort to fit well into time and place rather than coming across as an offense to the binary types. It's more about being considerate and not seriously disrupting their comfort zone than it is about any undue fears on my part, this attitude comes back to me with blessings in terms of acceptance and friendship. As some would say, it creates good Karma both ways.