I've been lurking for a few months now and finally decided to make an account.
So a bit of background on me. My name is Hailey (obviously not my birth name). I am in the late teens/early 20s stage of life and am currently going to uni.
My history with transgender...-ism has been a weird one. I am probably best suited in the genderqueer catagory but usually prefer female or neutal pronouns.
I think my one big fear about transitioning is having to live up to people's expectations of that role. Which I obviously don't want. I want my normal mixture of femme and butch to come through. So that's a little stressful.
I'm about 60/40 on keeping my...er penis. I recognize and appreciated the sexual pleasure I get from it. So that's still cloudy. I really hate my balls though (being as blunt as possible there :p). I would be ok with breasts and would probably welcome them.
I absolutely hate the way my body is shaped so I typically ignore it. Hate my adam's apple, hate my legs, hate my freakish hands and feet .-. *sigh*
I feel like I put on a happy face but underneath I'm miserable. Though with a female body, I could have similar feelings, just not as severe.
I know that conselling is the best way to go but that's at least an hour away if not more. So that's going to have to wait.
So yeah if you read all that, congrats you're done! Thank you for listening if you have <3 I would say its great to be here but. Well I haven't been around too long xD
Hope to see some of you guys around!
Hailey
Hey Hailey
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
Sounds like you might need to chat with a counsellor to get some sense on what is going on for you and your gender identity and how you would like to approach finding a sense of yourself. Hope that you find the forum useful, please ask whatever you need to know.
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Cheers
Grace
Hello Hailey,
I'm new here too.
I totally understand your confusion. I'm 44 and so far I've classed myself as two spirited/androgynous/genderfluid. Yet I feel like I have a male soul! So confusing. The older I get the more I hate the fact that I'm female bodied! Yet I'm not in a position to have any surgeries due to health issues.
I guess if I could take a pill and wake up male I'd do it!
Heroine Of The Winds welcome to Susan's family,
We can spend all our lives living to someones else s expectations or just live a life for Moi.
Nothing is cut and dry, noting is say etched in stone. We have to make our own life as happy as we can.
It truly is a hard thing to do be happy. If others would just take a moment and see you are the same person just struggling.
Keep working with your therapist. Walk the path you need to find that inner happiness spot.
Life is way to short to live not happy life.
Hugs
Safe passage on your path, popcorn?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2F33a6ouf.jpg&hash=70038a414397cf8547aa00ee9064953fc318e096)
Izzy
Welcome you two, see you both in the Non-Binary Forum. You'll find a lot of like minded people including myself there.