As the title says: Did transition change your sexual preference?
If it did, why do you think it changed? What caused the change?
It kinda did
Since I got more emotional with hormones and had less interest in sex I turned more into a lesbian
I'll kick off with an answer too..
I think it did.. I went in to transition thinking I was a straight woman, after all, I'd been a gay guy.. Transition led me to truly love myself, which allowed me to love another.. Just wasn't expecting it to be a woman. A little reflection made me realised that I had never loved a man, not even the one I wanted to, but I had loved women. So, as it turns out, I'm a lesbian.
I can't say much has changed at all since starting HRT and transitioning. I still prefer and am attracted to the female form. By extension of that I am also attracted to some transwomen too; whether they are pre,non or post op.
Guys are well um guys. I just see them as people to whom I could be friends with on a platonic level and nothing more.
For me it did, but whether that HRT I'm not sure.
Pre-HRT, as stated by myself many times I was solely into females, as I went full time, started HRT and started to see myself with other females out and about, I started to like males.
It has now moved to a point where the last thing I could see myself doing was being with a female.
My sexuality has remained the same (lesbian), but my views on it have changed a lot since transition. When I was living as male, it was mostly just about what turned me on physically. Now I'm almost completely uninterested in that aspect of it, and it's more about the deep emotional connection I can form with another woman.
I was bi before and am still bi.I generally had more girlfriends than boyfriends before though now it's the other way round.
Quote from: Leila on September 04, 2014, 03:54:55 AM
I can't say much has changed at all since starting HRT and transitioning. I still prefer and am attracted to the female form. By extension of that I am also attracted to some transwomen too; whether they are pre,non or post op.
Guys are well um guys. I just see them as people to whom I could be friends with on a platonic level and nothing more.
My thought's exactly except I now find guys physically attractive but not more physically attractive than women and I'm not emotionally attracted to them either so I still identify as a lesbian.
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on September 04, 2014, 06:16:40 AM
My thought's exactly except I now find guys physically attractive but not more physically attractive than women and I'm not emotionally attracted to them either so I still identify as a lesbian.
Thats pretty much a perfect answer for how I feel as well. I can just never see myself reaching a deep emotional connection with a guy. If I wasn't married though I would take a few out for a spin just for fun ;) If I had to rate it, I'm a Kinsey scale 4 lesbian.
Seems to be widening to include some male interest... but no where near my attraction to women. No real surprise, I pashed a couple of guys in the past, so clearly that door was ajar at least.
I think it is more a need to be found attractive by straight men as a qualifier for my femininity. If I was single I would probably explore that area at some stage.
I looked at the kinsey scale test and got a 4 or 5.
No, I'd say it's kinda just changed a lot on its own. After swaying polarities a bit, I finally realized I'm just really not specifically attracted to representations of either gender in particular - that it's individual people that intrigue me.
Well, since I'm haven't started my transition yet, I can only guess what will happen. I believe that the transition is not a only physical chance, it is social, emotional and mental too. So, our perceptions of course change, I think it's only natural that our sexual preferences will be affected too.
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 03:38:48 AM
As the title says: Did transition change your sexual preference?
If it did, why do you think it changed? What caused the change?
It "opened" it up a bit. As I started thinking of myself as a soft female, the touch of a male didn't seem so icky. This happened before my first hormone pill.
That being said, I still haven't come across a male that I'm physically attracted to. OTOH, I'm not physically very attracted to females my age either.
I was kinda hoping hormones would open up my dating pool a bit, but turns out it seemed to strengthen my sexual preference towards women alone. So I am a lesbian, and I liked women before so I can't say it changed my preference. It did lead to a clearer understanding of what I like to look like, versus what I would like potential partners to look like.
Coming out allowed me to come to grips with the fact that I am bi. It cleared the air for some repressed memories to surface.
As I've told people since then, I've realized that I no longer care what's between my partner's legs. I just care about what's between mine (hence wanting GCS). :P
In the years since transitioning I have started calling myself queer rather than a lesbian as I'm attracted to female identified people rather than female bodied people and that just seems to fit better.
Before transition I presented as a mostly straight guy... since transitioning I've pretty much been cemented as a lesbian. I might be able to have a purely sexual relationship with a guy if they presented as somewhat androgynously, but I don't think that would particularly count, considering I'd still be pursuing them more for their feminine features than anything 'male'.
To label myself I've considered myself asexual for years. The few sexual encounters I've had in my adolescence I feel were driven by the pressures of peers and society. Since starting HRT I've been able to see attractive traits of both males and females; However, I'm totally unsure of what I would even want from a relationship and still have no sexual desire.
I used to be bisexual, but after so many years of HRT, I can say I'm entirely straight and only interested in men. It was a very gradual change.
Yes, unfortunately. I never expected that to happen nor was ready for that. When I realised what had happened the feeling was "WTF???? Why???". Since teens I never dismissed the prospect as such, but what initially was just a thought or two was never played out - because I obviously had the wrong bits and as I grew older, I kinda realised that naked male body does not turn me on at all...
Why did that happened... dunno. Maybe some part of my brain was wired that way and just needed some sort of stimulation (in the form of HRT). And it is ironical that now I look at female bodies and dont really feel anything apart of envy and jealously.
Seriously, from pragmatic and practical point of view - female body has only one natural purpose for which it is fitted at its best (and that kind of "use" will never ever happen in my life) and pretty much sucks at everything else - in comparison with male body... It is softer and squishier, can lift less, will run slower, when it falls or bumps into something - it hurts more and heals longer... Anyway - I would not want to change back, not at all. But... yeah, was not really what I was expecting :). And now I have all those "qualities" and they totally dont turn me on in other women - which sucks too, because dating men is much scarier than dating women.
Also, it tends to become a bit annoying when meeting male friends (formerly, buddies...), cause it adds sexual tension in most casual settings, especially, if I find him attractive and interesting.
I haven't started HRT yet, and I'm only part time, but my sexual it has.... I don't want to say changed, but it has definitely evolved. I was a bisexual biological female with a preference for women and a need to dominate. As I've been transitioning, I appreciate an attractive female, but I've become far more attracted to men, making me come to identify as a gay male.
I would have to say that hormones greatly impacted me who I am sexually attracted to now. I feel that I can relate more to females way more than I can with males in any context be that sexual or not. As such, I am a total lesbian now and proud of it! :D
EDIT: Before hormones, I thought I was asexual and didn't really have a sexual preference.
Quote from: Codia on September 04, 2014, 11:15:08 AM
To label myself I've considered myself asexual for years. I'm totally unsure of what I would even want from a relationship and still have no sexual desire.
I used to consider myself asexual. Then I realized I actually am not lacking in sexual attraction, but just that I have extremely high standards. I'd never date someone less intelligent, for instance.
It totally did, before HRT i did not like men at all only women, but once I started HRT and after a couple of months i realized that my body was getting turned on by men, it was a totally different feeling than anything I have ever felt before, just by looking at them, their smell when working out, their strong bodies, now all of that really appeals to me.
I should also mentioned, I do not like women anymore.
Nevertheless, i should mention that i am really happy with the changes, both physically and emotionally.
It's fascinating to see all the different ways transition affects sexuality.
Bi before and after
I'm not on hormones yet, but by boyfriend's transition changed me sexuality right up.
I'd long considered myself a lesbian, but just the knowledge that he's been a dude all along has made me reevaluate any potential androsexuality, and became aware of how comfortable i was with the idea. and now after having netflixed the first five seasons of supernatural, i have to admit a bit of a crush on Jared Padalecki. and both actresses that played Ruby.
I think i still prefer females, but I'm decidedly Bi. and that may change more once i can gen HRT sorted.
I just re-read the thread title... 8)
Yes, my sexual preference changed after transition. In certain situations, I now prefer sex ;D
Nope. It just helped me remember I like boys. I tried so hard to forget, because I thought I was gay. And you, church stuff ready messes with ya.
I don't really know yet but I was bi before, bi now and probably will be bi after next month.
Nope. Not a single bit. I still like women.
Not really change but it has added an even greater dimensions to the joy of being Bi. I like being with men and women and some of that has to do with the contrasts where I feel more feminine than ever. I like the contrast of a man's body, hair, even odor compared to my new girlyness. I love cuddling up with my partner and all of our wonderful femininity coming together. What's not to like sharing love?
Transition has also had a pronounced impact on my previously too insistent and urgent arousal. Sexuality now has greater depth, and my understanding of intimacy and romance are enhanced.
I wouldn't say change because I believe that is an unchanging part of my being. Instead I would use the word clarify. With the right plumbing in place it was much easier to figure who I was attracted to. If that helps.
Nope, my sexuality hasn't been changed. While I think hrt plays a powerful role in terms of perception and emotions, I think sexuality shifts are likely more related to opening oneself up and accepting who we are. However, I will say though that I do crave romance and intimacy much more after hormones. So my sexuality is the same, but how I experience it is a bit different.
Quote from: Pikachu on September 04, 2014, 04:48:19 AM
My sexuality has remained the same (lesbian), but my views on it have changed a lot since transition. When I was living as male, it was mostly just about what turned me on physically. Now I'm almost completely uninterested in that aspect of it, and it's more about the deep emotional connection I can form with another woman.
I'm completely the opposite. For me it's always been about the emotional bond. The physical bit has always been a chore for me; something to be endured. That said I'm not sure where my attractions are. I do carry a bit of a torch for Viggo Mortenson and the actors who play Sam, Dean, and Castiel on Supernatural but I haven't really been interested in being with a male as a male-bodied individual.
Quote from: marikvulpina on September 04, 2014, 03:56:18 PM
I'm not on hormones yet, but by boyfriend's transition changed me sexuality right up.
I'd long considered myself a lesbian, but just the knowledge that he's been a dude all along has made me reevaluate any potential androsexuality, and became aware of how comfortable i was with the idea. and now after having netflixed the first five seasons of supernatural, i have to admit a bit of a crush on Jared Padalecki. and both actresses that played Ruby.
I think i still prefer females, but I'm decidedly Bi. and that may change more once i can gen HRT sorted.
I was gaming the other night and told my friend I had to log to spend the night with my two boyfriends, Sam and Dean. She laughed and said "you're such a ho!"
I think I could have a slice of angelfood cake too: Castiel is pretty damn attractive.
Quote from: Wynternight on September 04, 2014, 05:17:58 PM
I'm completely the opposite. For me it's always been about the emotional bond. The physical bit has always been a chore for me; something to be endured.
I'm kind of like that. I really had to work hard and always had to have some type of emotional bond there. Temporary or not. As long as there is some emotional bond there.
Some interesting answers here.. But I'm interested to see how many people have brought hormones in to it. Hormones were not part of the question.
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 06:15:36 PM
Some interesting answers here.. But I'm interested to see how many people have brought hormones in to it. Hormones were not part of the question.
Hormones are part of transition, are they not?
Quote from: Wynternight on September 04, 2014, 06:21:38 PM
Hormones are part of transition, are they not?
They are, yes. But I'm quite interested to see that hormones seem to frequently labelled as the cause by some..
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 06:15:36 PM
Some interesting answers here.. But I'm interested to see how many people have brought hormones in to it. Hormones were not part of the question.
It doesn't surprise me. I've noticed a lot of people are quick to credit any mental change to hormones. I'm not yet (and may never be able to be) on hormone therapy, yet my emotional wiring and the way I perceive many things has shifted drastically. I seem to be experiencing exactly the psychological changes I've seen people here attribute time and time again to hormones, without them.
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 06:31:47 PM
They are, yes. But I'm quite interested to see that hormones seem to frequently labelled as the cause by some..
The literature supports people claiming changes in their preferences from HRT though I'm inclined to think it's more of a refinement. I have read that transwomen become more aware and responsive to male pheremones on HRT.
Nope. I was bisexual before and I'm bi now. I'm attracted to a few more men than ever before, but I think that has more to do with the fact that straight men treating me as a woman means more of them are appealing (vs. seeing their crude side back when I was a guy).
Quote from: Wynternight on September 04, 2014, 06:37:27 PM
The literature supports people claiming changes in their preferences from HRT though I'm inclined to think it's more of a refinement. I have read that transwomen become more aware and responsive to male pheremones on HRT.
What literature would that be? Is it science-based or simply based on anecdotes? I ask this because my background and more recent research and reading don't agree with the hormone link. I can agree with the pheromone thing to a certain extent - men smelt bad to me before and smell even worse now, and I don't mean their BO..
The girl part of me that could not come out was never gay not that there is anything wrong with gay...... so when being a guy just was hetero but now that the girl is in charge guys are totally awesome... for me as a girl I like guys... but no sex until SRS.... I do think I will in the end be a little BI.... so I will be open minded.
Carrie
One of my small fears is that my SO will have feelings towards men once transition is in full swing. She has said that she never have nor will have anything to do towards men. But I still have that nagging feeling in the back of my head.
I think it's just left over feelings of being insecure in the past with our and other relationships.
I think I'm slightly more bisexual now than I was. I still much prefer guys but I wouldn't say no if a dominant dark-haired girl propositioned me.
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 06:15:36 PM
Some interesting answers here.. But I'm interested to see how many people have brought hormones in to it. Hormones were not part of the question.
Nope. Sorry to disappoint you Hon but hormones with me are not part of the equation in the least little bit. Maybe the hormone receptors in my brain but not the HRT.
Quote from: Jess42 on September 04, 2014, 08:24:40 PM
Nope. Sorry to disappoint you Hon but hormones with me are not part of the equation in the least little bit. Maybe the hormone receptors in my brain but not the HRT.
No disappointment from me.. I don't think hormones change sexual preference..
Quote from: kelly_aus on September 04, 2014, 08:28:25 PM
No disappointment from me.. I don't think hormones change sexual preference..
Well thanx 'cause I didn't disappoint you. But I will say this much it may be way more of a mental or psychological thing instead of a hormonal thing. I find that I am more attracted to guys now than I ever was. It really started changing when I hit about age thirty. Always was attracted to guys and girls about evenly, but now it is way more the masculine that I am drawn too. So really I don't think it is as much as waning T levels due to age as it is something else that I really can't put a finger on.
I just wanted to add that I liked girls way before puberty, so the first batch of hormones didn't change anything for me, either. :P
I'd just like to say I've been bi since birth , but hormones equalized me.
The only explanation I can see is effect that the experience of transitioning can have on our sexuality-I feel like transitioning can, in many cases, open our minds to new possibilities. I don't believe that anyone is exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, and transitioning has made me a lot more aware of just how flexible gender and sexuality are. I identified as gay (male) before my transition, and now I'm a true-blue bisexual. This has nothing to do with hormones, at least I don't see it that way. I simply realized that I didn't have to limit myself, and opened myself up to new possibilities. Just my subjective experience, but that's how it was for me.
Nope, always liked girls. Only difference is that as a teenager, I had a thing for blondes. Now, I lean towards brunettes more, but ultimately, care a lot less about hair color. :P
Before I started HRT, this very subject fascinated me to death. I was curious how might my sexuality evolve under the influence of hormones. Going into this, I had some very definitely thoughts, but I was not completely sure. As a male, I had never been with a man, and for most of my male life, I can't say I was really attracted to men. But in all my visions of myself as a female over the years, I was a very enthusiastic heterosexual. Because of that, I was always somewhat suspicious that I was a very very repressed bisexual.
There is another aspect of this that deserves mention here: Regardless of my preference, I felt inside I was a bottom in the sexual sense, yet my role as a heterosexual man forced me at times to perform as the top. As the years moved on, and my dysphoria grew worse, I managed to get to the point where I could look at a man, and realize that my inner female would find him attractive, but those were only a select few.
Still, I had my suspicions about what would happen under the influence of hormones. What I discovered pretty soon after starting HRT was that the walls started crumbling. The very nature of my body sensations changed, and any notions of being a top, pretty well disappeared into the ether. Into that vacuum, my more passive sexuality quickly took hold. And I found that the gender best equipped to respond that new sexuality had penises. Suddenly, I looked at men in a new way. Many suddenly became a lot cuter. This is far more than just a physical thing; I crave now emotional connections with the more masculine gender. I now pine away for a day when I have had my SRS, and a man will take me to bed, and make into the woman I have always dreamed of being. Men give me the tingles now; but I sort of thought it would go that way all along.
Kinda... I mean I've only been on HRT for a month, but I've been full-time for a couple of years (almost 3... I think... Seriously I'm really bad with dates..)
I was always into women... The idea of doing anything with a man was just.. Gross, honestly... But I've noticed that whilst I do still feel somewhat attracted to a woman once in a while, it's more emotional than physical... And... Guess what? Men are quite the opposite of gross lately, haha... I mean I'm not easy or anything but... I'm no longer scared of having some fun if he's hot and there's some interest there... It was the beginning of this year when I first went to bed with a man, kissed a man, or ... I'm not going to go into detail coz there's minors about... But yeah....
I pretty much went from being solely interested in women and very very prude, to being bi with a preference for men, and quite the opposite of prude.
Then again my tastes may change... Other things not so much, but sexual preference I find tends to be (in some people) quite fluid.
I liked women before and I still like them 10 months into full strength HRT. My sex drive has unfortunately gone from overdrive to park so the idea of doing "that" with anyone doesn't appeal to me at the moment, especially with the OEM plumbing I still have.
I will say that I have noticed a few cute guys, but I can't imagine myself doing anything intimate with them.
Quote from: Eva Marie on September 04, 2014, 11:51:24 PM
I liked women before and I still like them 10 months into full strength HRT. My sex drive has unfortunately gone from overdrive to park so the idea of doing "that" with anyone doesn't appeal to me at the moment, especially with the OEM plumbing I still have.
I will say that I have noticed a few cute guys, but I can't imagine myself doing anything intimate with them.
There is definitely more than on way to make a cat purr. This isn't the sexuality part so that is all I will say.
I liked girls before and like them still. I'm still not attracted to men but the concept is not mentally jarring like it used to be. At most it's slightly curious. I still though am not attracted to them in the least and actually hate seeing man bits on me when I change.
The big difference for me is I don't crave sex (thank God!) and really enjoy a good cuddle instead. I'll take a cuddle over sex. Anybody else feel like that?
Quote from: Codia on September 04, 2014, 11:15:08 AM
To label myself I've considered myself asexual for years. The few sexual encounters I've had in my adolescence I feel were driven by the pressures of peers and society. Since starting HRT I've been able to see attractive traits of both males and females; However, I'm totally unsure of what I would even want from a relationship and still have no sexual desire.
This is literally exactly how I feel! The only thing I would look for in a potential partner really is the connection I have with them. Growing up I had only really been interested in women, but there was a part of me that questioned why I was interested in them which eventually led me to question my gender and realize I was trans. I've never been with a guy, but there are aspects of guys that I find attractive just as there are aspects of women that I find attractive.
Hell no
Quote from: CrysC on September 05, 2014, 12:16:27 AM
I liked girls before and like them still. I'm still not attracted to men but the concept is not mentally jarring like it used to be. At most it's slightly curious. I still though am not attracted to them in the least and actually hate seeing man bits on me when I change.
The big difference for me is I don't crave sex (thank God!) and really enjoy a good cuddle instead. I'll take a cuddle over sex. Anybody else feel like that?
I have actually felt like that for most of my life...a nice cuddle is better than having sex
ok, reading the responses... i feel a little like a freak
before hormones i was into only woman... been with a man was eeeeuw for me.. I started HRT and as the hormones started doing their thing, the idea of been with a man was not so eeeeuw anymore.. I went a on date with a man, a favor for a friend, he needed a date for a function. We hit it off and we actually ended up dating for a few months. Kissing him and been held by him was weird at first and i was intermit with him too.. I got use to it and actually liked it.
Now I am bi-sexual.. I find myself actually wanting a boyfriend.. at the moment I am kinda involved with a woman 20 years older than me.. nothing serious... she is exploring lesbianism, i actually met her at a lesbian bar. But I still in my mind am on the look out for a man.
I think hormones had an effect on my sexuality..
Many people find their sexuality is fluid, nothing is set in stone. Changing your perception of yourself does not invalidate your existence and experiences previous to that. Going on HRT can massively change your perception of yourself and it's natural that things might change.
no change here. still have a strong preference for women.
Hmm... I can confidently say I'm still a lesbian. As of late I do find some guys increasingly attractive, but I still can't imagine being in a relationship with one. o.o I am now starting to question myself...
My whole life before transition, I was only interested sexually and physically to girls. I viewed myself as what I thought was a straight male. 1 year before HRT I found my self physically attracted to guy, not sexually. I was still only into girls. 2 weeks after I had started HRT, I had almost an over night change in sexuality. I was intensely physically and sexually attracted to men, and my view towards woman change to envy, and oh they are pretty. 6 months now, I have not thought about woman once and only men. I came to the conclusion "Was I lesbian?" "Am I straight now?". After telling myself that I'm not gay, and thought I'm only attracted to men as a woman, I now know that "I'm straight for men".
And I finally am with my first boyfriend now after we dated some. Everything feels so natural and normal, from emotions to sex. I don't hesitate to do anything with him. Yet I can remember when with those girls in the past I was always more focused on holding, cuddling, kissing, and foreplay. And wasn't very interested in sex with them. So I feel so much better about showing that side of me with my boyfriend, because of the mental re-wiring for female life. I'm finally in tune with my body. So it's possible that my brain decided I was better fit for pleasing a man then woman.
I'm not on hormones(yet) but something i've noticed is that the more i let my girl side out the more i find that i'm attracted to guys
Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on September 09, 2014, 03:13:59 PM
I'm not on hormones(yet) but something i've noticed is that the more i let my girl side out the more i find that i'm attracted to guys
This is pretty much the same for me. I haven't started hormones but it seems i can only see myself with men in a romantic relationship. I think my wife pretty much hit it on the head when she stated that I have always been attracted to men. I sought female relatioships because I coveted them and buried the attraction I had to men deep down with everything else i was trying to cover up. By finally being true and comfortable with myself it's much clearer in that sense. I believe that it may appear that your sexual preference is changing but it's more like that its always been there.
Although I'm pre-everything and therefore can't say if HRT will have an effect on my sexuality, I have noticed a shift in my own perception of my sexuality since coming to terms with the fact that I'm a trans guy.
I've always identified as bisexual, being more physically attracted to women and (I thought) more emotionally attracted to men. As silly as it sounds, the reason I thought this was because I became intensely attached to many male fictional characters. I loved writing the part of men, whether it was in stories or roleplaying games or whatever, and I led myself to believe that my ideal partner would be this certain type of man that I always gravitated toward writing/reading about.
Over the years, I realized that I wasn't attracted to that type of man, I wanted to be that type of man. I realized that even if I met this ideal guy, I wouldn't be fulfilled by dating him. I would feel empty and jealous that he got to be the person that I always wanted to be.
Roleplaying also taught me that my sexual preference for women was as a man and not as a bisexual woman or lesbian. When I was writing from the POV of the man and developing a relationship with a female character, something clicked. Everything, including the idea of sex, felt so much more right when I viewed myself as male. I discovered that I wanted to be a girl's man, boyfriend, prince, Romeo, dream guy, husband (someday), all that stuff.
Upon accepting myself as a guy, I have also become more comfortable with the idea of being with another guy. Back when I was trying to be female, I dated men and had sex with men, but it never felt right at all. I can much more easily see myself dating a man as my true male self, but it still doesn't appeal greatly to me. Nothing feels as right as the idea of myself as man with a woman, romantically and sexually.
Another note: no matter how appealing I found someone before, it was hard to be truly attracted to them when I didn't like the idea of myself performing as a female sexually with them. Visualizing myself having sex as a female with almost anyone was a big turn-off. It always felt wrong. So I was very prudish and uncomfortable with intimacy and even thought myself asexual many times. But now that I see myself as a man and am going to start transition, everything has changed. I view sex as a wonderful thing that I'm very excited to have now that I can, or will soon be able to, perform as my true self.
Overall, I think it makes perfect sense for our sexualities to flux as we transition. A big, big part of sexuality is the role that you play in it yourself, after all, which I think people forget sometimes. When most people talk about sexual orientation, it's "do you like men, women, or both?" But something that trans people know better than cis is that it doesn't end there. It also includes "do you like the idea of being a man with a woman, a man with a man, a woman with a woman, or a woman with a man?"
My sexual preference is the same. I always see myself with a guy in my head. The male body is beautiful, sexually. My first long term relationship and bunch of flings were with guys. The ones I was with I could not connect with other than sex. I enjoy female company, tough and tenderness. I can have sex with women but sex the sex as with a male.
Orientation? No. I'm still bi. But I have noticed some changes. I've had a strong interest in sadomasochism since an early age, and I generally saw myself as a sadist. However, since accepting myself as a woman, I've felt a strong urge to be dominated. I'm not sure what this says about my subconscious views on gender. ???
Quote from: EmmaMcAllister on September 09, 2014, 08:35:17 PM
Orientation? No. I'm still bi. But I have noticed some changes. I've had a strong interest in sadomasochism since an early age, and I generally saw myself as a sadist. However, since accepting myself as a woman, I've felt a strong urge to be dominated. I'm not sure what this says about my subconscious views on gender. ???
Most women are wired to enjoy being dominated, while most men are wired to enjoy doing the dominating. I don't think it has anything to do with your subconscious views on gender, it's just a fact of life.
Hi the thought off giving my self to a man sexually arouses me somewhat but emotionally I'm attracted to women and I'm more emotional now the warmth the touching holding cuddling sexual kisses arouses me more Wright now anyways.
No....men are still disgusting to me
I was more or less straight through highschool. Once I started experiencing more dysphoria in my late teens, my sexuality drifted a bit, and by 20 I was only into guys.
Quote from: Michelle G on September 10, 2014, 10:40:17 AM
No....men are still disgusting to me
::)
Replace 'men' with 'women' or 'transwomen' or 'transmen' and someone might get offended. Imagine that.
Quote from: Hideyoshi on September 10, 2014, 10:43:14 AM
Replace 'men' with 'women' or 'transwomen' or 'transmen' and someone might get offended. Imagine that.
I agree. We shouldn't be promoting misandry here, we shouldn't hate on anyone. We are hated a lot for no reason... why would we do the same to other people??
Sexually speaking? Heck, I saw someone post "being with a woman would be gross for me" just today. I'm not offended; people are allowed to like/be attracted to whatever works for them.
(It's a little childish and not polite to express it in terms of "yuck!", but I don't think sexual preferences = bigotry. In fact, rather the opposite - if I expect people to respect my preferences, I have to respect theirs.)
A few members have already expressed very similar feelings to my own but I'm not going to quote them. In my case discovering my transgender identity and transitioning actually strongly reinforced and cemented my sexual preference. I am exclusively attracted to women sexually and romantically. The only thing that changed was seeing myself as a lesbian rather than a straight male. The understandings that flowed from this were instrumental in my mental transition and in properly defining and gaining my sexual identity and physical sexual responses. I know now that I need to be partnered with a more-dominant woman and that I'm not ashamed of that (as I was made to feel as a male). It empowers and frees me to experience sexual sensations that I never even imagined.
Transition, or rather the hyper-analysis I've put into it, has introduced me to the wide spectrum of female character and physical appearance that exists and clarified exactly what it is within it that appeals to me. I once read about a comedian who described herself as "fella-girly" which immediately struck a chord with me (I believe she's a lesbian). My instincts attract me to women with what would generally be termed 'boyish' figures and characters. I could never reconcile that until I fully understood my own identity and motivations. It borders on being attracted to many FTMs but never quite crosses that line. The tendencies are often attractive but not the strongly male elements. Relationship-wise I would seek someone who was more extroverted and would act in a boyfriend-like or husband-like way but while still retaining the female elements that attract me.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on September 10, 2014, 11:20:47 AM
Sexually speaking? Heck, I saw someone post "being with a woman would be gross for me" just today. I'm not offended; people are allowed to like/be attracted to whatever works for them.
(It's a little childish and not polite to express it in terms of "yuck!", but I don't think sexual preferences = bigotry. In fact, rather the opposite - if I expect people to respect my preferences, I have to respect theirs.)
Agreed. I get a weird bad feeling in my gut and kinda cringe at the thought of me trying to be sexual with a man or visualizing gay male relationships, but I don't hate anyone for their preferences and I don't talk about it much. I think I'd only draw the line at fetishes for legit (rather than role-played) rape, torture or murder. Perhaps on that we can all agree. (And move on.)
I've always been bi , but estrogen has added a new dimension to how I view men.
Well, interesting question and many interesting responses here so far.
As for me, I was attracted to women both romantically and physically before hrt, and that hasn't changed. I'm still lesbian. What has changed is my openess on what is important in life and in a relationship. By this I mean, I have a need to be loved, and held that I never had before. I've always been a strong woman, hell, I had to be to get through some of the things I've had to endure to get to this point in my evolution physically, sexually, and romantically. I've always had an Alpha Female personality, but I have softened up somewhat since beginning full transition in a way that is hard for me to explain. I guess I could put it this way; I've come to see that if/when true love comes along, sincere true love it won't matter to me if they be male or female, trans or cis, or somewhere in between. Even though I've a strong attraction to girls I'm not above a compromise because it is going to be the person I'm attracted to at that point, and not their gender or their attributes.
Make sense? While I sincerely hope there's a girl out there trans or cis who can love me, however, if they turn out to be a guy I just hope he's not too hairy if he's cis, lol!
Ali :icon_flower:
Quote from: Auroramarianna on September 10, 2014, 10:59:10 AM
I agree. We shouldn't be promoting misandry here, we shouldn't hate on anyone. We are hated a lot for no reason... why would we do the same to other people??
I didn't say I hated them at all ;) I just should have said "some" men disgust me
btw, I love my transmen friends :)
I'm not on hormones but for some reason, my wiring changed and I'm now bisexual. It was a gradual process what started when I realised I wanted to cross-dress and needed to express my feminine side. It's not down to suppressed feelings since, besides a short gay phase, I was only sexually interested in women for practically all my life.
I'm totally okay with this.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on September 04, 2014, 09:11:58 PM
The only explanation I can see is effect that the experience of transitioning can have on our sexuality-I feel like transitioning can, in many cases, open our minds to new possibilities. I don't believe that anyone is exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, and transitioning has made me a lot more aware of just how flexible gender and sexuality are. I identified as gay (male) before my transition, and now I'm a true-blue bisexual. This has nothing to do with hormones, at least I don't see it that way. I simply realized that I didn't have to limit myself, and opened myself up to new possibilities. Just my subjective experience, but that's how it was for me.
This has very much been the case for me (other than the identifying as gay part). The barriers I had built up that prevented me from accepting myself as a woman were built from the teachings and values of the heteronormative and highly religious society I grew up in. Once those walls came crashing down it not only opened up my mind up to acceptance towards myself and transition, but it also opened up my mind towards other things that I'd never allowed myself to consider before. I now consider myself bisexual, even though I haven't been with a man yet. I am open to it as I believe that so long as they click with me I could be attracted to anyone, regardless of gender.
Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on September 04, 2014, 09:11:58 PM
The only explanation I can see is effect that the experience of transitioning can have on our sexuality-I feel like transitioning can, in many cases, open our minds to new possibilities. I don't believe that anyone is exclusively homosexual or heterosexual, and transitioning has made me a lot more aware of just how flexible gender and sexuality are. I identified as gay (male) before my transition, and now I'm a true-blue bisexual. This has nothing to do with hormones, at least I don't see it that way. I simply realized that I didn't have to limit myself, and opened myself up to new possibilities. Just my subjective experience, but that's how it was for me.
If I may offer another explanation. I went from being a straight male (ugh) to being a straight female. I don't believe that it was because I had opened myself up to possibilities that one day 8 months into hrt when a male colleague walked into a meeting, my stomach did a trapeze act. It was a total surprise and a physical response to a male person and body. I also don't believe I was hiding anything from myself. In those eight months, I had essentially gone through a new puberty. It has been well documented that hrt changes the brain, and that it changes the body is pretty obvious. I had new circuitry and a new destination. Could it be that when we go through a new puberty, we shake up the dice and re-roll? Saying this doesn't mean that people don't open up to new possibilities. But it does suggest another idea.
I should mention that, according to this explanation, giving a gay adult male testosterone would have no effect on orientation, since it was probably testosterone that helped make his sexuality more, er, solid (firm? This isn't working) to start with.
BTW, I'm still captivated by beautiful women, but I'm no longer attracted to them physically.
Quote from: Alaia on September 10, 2014, 11:34:40 PM
The barriers I had built up that prevented me from accepting myself as a woman were built from the teachings and values of the heteronormative and highly religious society I grew up in. Once those walls came crashing down it not only opened up my mind up to acceptance towards myself and transition, but it also opened up my mind towards other things that I'd never allowed myself to consider before.
This reminds me of a phrase I saw on the backpack of a rather 'anti-establishment'-looking young woman today - "->-bleeped-<- THE CISTEM". Certainly for me everything I'd learned and been conditioned to believe for most of my life did me a great disservice. I was clueless until the age of 35 that it was possible for me to be a lesbian even though I knew full well what a lesbian was! The moment I figured it all out for myself felt like getting hit in the head with a mallet, it was such an enormous revelation to me. It makes me wonder sometimes just how many people suffer their whole lives not having a clue at all what's wrong with them because they've never been offered the necessary information.
Yes it definitely changed mine, Iv posted about it many times here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86615.msg617179.html#msg617179 https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,132560.msg1055324.html#msg1055324
It can be a little unnerving experience at first, the thought of being sexual attracted to a guy was ewww, the change was unsettling, but hormones rewired my brain, a gorgeous hunk of a guy with big muscles now gives me butterflies in my stomach, I'm like an excited school girl, I now have absolutely no sexual interest in women, I'm a straight woman attracted to men, I'm now married to a man, if I was told 30 years ago that I would eventually marry a man, I would never have believe it, but I'm now a woman with the right equipment, it just feels right for me to be with a man, I'II never be with another woman sexual, the hormones and my transition changed all that.
With all the lesbian sisters here that means that there are more men to chose from for me!!!
Before I started to go on HRT I identified as a gay guy. I'm still sexually interested in men and have no desire to having a sexual relationship with a woman.
It hasn't, I still prefer to avoid it.
Quote from: Pinkkatie on September 12, 2014, 07:31:46 AM
Before I started to go on HRT I identified as a gay guy. I'm still sexually interested in men and have no desire to having a sexual relationship with a woman.
Curious. Pre-SRS I found it extremely difficult to carry any relationship with a guy. I was completely aghast of the idea that he might actually be gay and interested in specific physiology (thus seeing me, and our relationship, in a very misgendered way.)
That all got a lot better after SRS, of course :)
Bisexual polyamory has emerged. Weeeeeeeee...
Used to be exclusive to females.
My own "change" to admitting I am bi was more admitting to myself how I felt. As I looked backwards with my therapist, memories came to light. None of that was due to HRT, though given the timing, I might have ascribed it to HRT. However, it was those memories that made me aware that this was something that had always existed and had existed long prior to HRT.
I was A sexual my entire life due to my gender issues. I had no desire to date anyone because my body didn't match me. Now that I'm on HRT and feeling MUCH better about who I am and the body I have I'm leaning towards guys but there has been one woman who peaks my interest so I'm beginning to wonder if I might be Pansexual now as I am not attracted to her in the sense of that I want to have sex but for the person she is. I have a blind date coming up with a man fairly soon and I'm excited about that :D couldn't say the same when I was asked to go on blind dates before I started transitioning.
Pre-T, I thought I was attracted to both female and males. But in actual fact, I was admiring their appearances, not actually falling for them or wanting to have sex with them. I was never interested in sex, never got that raging sexual desire towards another person. Sure, I have dated both women and men but in the end, I cannot fake something I cannot feel.
I did previously think of myself as a gay male and had sexual fantasies surrounding that identity, genuinely became aroused from it but I become equally aroused by the thought of making love to a woman as a man... then other days, I will have sexual fantasies of being a woman having sex with a man or a woman... what the...? Testosterone seems to take joy in making me confused! :icon_blink:
Asexual before transitioning, still asexual during transitioning. Just more confused by the overwhelming fantasies that cannot translate over to real life.
I started out attracted to women, and as I have transitioned I have surprised myself to find I am only MORE attracted to women now. I honestly expected that my hatred of my own body was preventing me from properly appreciating men and that I would change my mind once I transitioned. I deliberately tried to see if it had. Nope. Couldn't care less about men.
Honestly kind of bummed me out, I wanted to find out what that was like to be with a man. But there's just no desire there. Someday I might meet a man who would change that, but it sure hasn't happened yet.