Today is one of those days where I have just had enough...I just cannot stand it anymore. I think to myself "WHy the hell do I even bother? Why do I try to do things to make everyone else happy, when no-one appreciates the sacrifices I make? What is the point of me doing what I need to do, if others are just going to complain that I don't think of them?"...then the dark thoughts enter my mind. I want to get out of here. I want to get out of my life. I want to leave this plain of existence...very little these days makes me happy...and even the slow but sure journey I am on, in becoming my true self, is not helping to relieve the thoughts in my head. Typing things onto a computer is helping, but is it enough? Is it enough to let me be able to cope with the horrors of the life I currently live?
Sorry for my rant...just need to get things off my chest, to get a clearer head
Hugs, sweetie. It's never fun to be under appreciated and treated like a door mat. You say you want to get out of your life, but there are ways to do that without giving up on life. It sounds to me like you are ready to stand up for yourself, to say enough is enough and demand respect. It's time for a change not time for it to all end. The question is how will you do that? How will you change your life for the better, to become the person you need to be? :)
It's not a rant. I felt exactly the same word for word yesterday. I'm travelling through Greece (boy mode, with my wife and kids). On the way to the plane back home now. It's really hard doing all the little (possible) things. Unappreciated. Unknown.
Wanting to give you a hug and hold your hand in solidarity and love.
Take care!
I often feel that my efforts go unappreciated and wonder why I even bother trying to help anyone, but then there is that one out of many who actually says a genuine "Thank you"
I'm not looking for any great praise, but it does feel good when someone does show a little appreciation once in awhile rather than acting like another self absorbed, expectant grind
Hugs
Quote from: Asniceasme on September 06, 2014, 04:45:37 AM
Why do I try to do things to make everyone else happy, when no-one appreciates the sacrifices I make?
Hugs. I get that feeling a lot.
You didn't ask for advice, so ignore me if what I say is not helpful.
Sometimes I find that the best way to deal with people underappreciating what I do is to stop doing those things. People will either find a way to get along without me (freeing me up for all sorts of other priorities) or bring the subject up. That would be my opening to express my feelings to them.
I'm a minimalist by nature, I get happy when the baristas give a free coffee at my favorite Starbucks
A very funny thing...as I was reading the replies to this, this morning, on the radio was REM with "everybody hurts", and it was at the end of the song where all they sing is "everybody hurts", and "hold on"...which is what I need to do going by the replies.
life is a wonder, the universe is vast, everything is nothing, just like nothing is everything.
life can get better and life can get worse. maintaining status quo is impossible. the interesting thing about life is that it tends to go on even if i do nothing. no matter what i do or don't, the sun will rise again. i'm rather insignificant, aren't i? though also the most important person in the world, to my daughter. how wonderful isn't that? i used to be terribly depressed, kind of forgot how to live years ago. but in the end i just had to decide on living, and doing all i can for myself, so i could become a happy person capable of raising a child into a happy adult.
that took a whole lot of learning to turn people down. i can't, i don't have time, do it yourself. if i don't want to, i don't do it. unless it has to be done, of course. but that's more like doing the dishes because i want to eat from clean plates. i want the result even if i hate washing dishes.
most people will survive even if you don't help them. even family do. so you can just take it easy and help those who have helped you, and those who will thank you, and those that are worth helping. and the other ones can get a chance when they start offering payment. you're not being selfish, you're just not catering to their selfish demands.
and if you're feeling down, come by to rant a little. ranting on the internet can help just as much as ranting to a therapist. i only had the internet to help me in my quest for happiness. i wouldn't have trusted any therapist as much as i trust my friends here, so i don't think it was a bad choice at all. but that might only be true for me, as i didn't want to take frequent whole days off from work just to see a therapist. i'm a stubborn enough person that i'd keep on working not until it killed me, but without letting it kill me. if things get bad, don't try to make do without a therapist unless you know you'll turn down death even when that is the only decent option you have left. only thing that stopped me was that i would never let anyone hurt my daughter, not even myself. one of my friends had her mother killed when she was a child, i'm never letting my girl experience that.
should i mention again how happy i am after finding the clue to doing things right? it's not the method that matters, but whether or not i want to do it. it's a matter of priorities, where only i can decide what is most important to me. and doing that, i don't need all those things that depression told me i needed but are impossible to get. so hold on until you find that key to opening up the door to a most amazing and wonderful life.
This may sound selfish and maybe I am but who cares? Sometimes we have to, no, we really need to think of ourselves first and foremost. If we aren't happy with ourselves then we make those around us miserable too.
But Life sux sometimes, The Universe is extremely big and everything, well I really don't know what to say about everything else. But you have to be happy with you and everyone else don't really matter. Yeah it sounds selfish but we can't do anything or love anyone else if we hate ourselves and who we are. Most people will take and take from you as long as you give. Give to yourself hon, give to yourself what will make you happy and comfortable with yourself. If others can't accept it, oh well. At least you will be happy with yourself and comfortable with yourself and that is what really matters. And then others will gravitate around you.
Taka and Jess have hit on something that I think is important. I do what I do because that is my choice. I may or may not receive recognition, I may or may not be acknowledged. I very much like it when people appreciate what I do for them. It makes it much more likely I will repeat the behavior :) When I'm taken advantage of even by my kids, it annoys and saddens me. But the fact is it was my choice, people will do fine in my absence, fact is they may do better if I don't get in the way. It is my nature to help and to nurture, but I'm not owed anything from anyone. I am responsible for myself and for my own happiness. Nobody can fulfill my dreams if I can't. I can't fulfill anyone's fantasies, if they aren't willing to be independent.
That's the thing about life. It is ours to live, decide, do, help or not, it is our decision and our responsibility.
Peace,
Julie
None of us are imuned from feeling just like you, it happens to everyone at times.. Sometimes we have to hold on and be patient, sometimes we have to make good things happen to us..
I also agree with what Jess wrote above, sometimes we need to just stop putting out all our energy on others, and care more about ourselves.. Everyone has to just ignore everything going on sometimes, and do good things to and for ourselves.. It really isn't selfish to put yourself first, and do what you want, and to find ways to love yourself and feel good inside, then everything and people surrounding you will follow..
You're not alone, and you are loved, remember that.