I get that a lot from customers. Sometimes, its ok, but a lot of times, I'm like wtf, can't you see what I am?
I used to revel in it, but after a while, it gets old. I mean, I have a name and its right there on the silly little name tag I wear.
Depends from people close to me its ok, but from strangers and customers (phone customer service here) i find it extremely demeaning.
So friends ;D and strangers >:(
Dear, Honey, babe, sweetheart, darhling, I love them all.... I a such a hooo LOL
It depends on the intent of the person calling me that.
That's funny. I feel the same way. It's kind of the way they say the word I guess. I think most women say it as a compliment like saying thanks sweetie or honey. When they do I always reply with thank you so much if I think they were sincere.
I *hate* it. But I'm in New England, where that sort of thing is not standard. :) It usually seems patronizing/demeaning to me. (I don't mind little old ladies, though. They're just cute about it.)
I have mixed feelings about it. I suppose it depends on my mood at the time. But whether it irks me or if I'm flattered by it, it always catches me off guard. Still getting used to it. Like on Monday, I saw my landlord/housemate after he had been gone all weekend. He was in a good mood and gave me a lil hug and kiss on the cheek as he greeted me. Stuff like that still surprises me, big time. A lot to adjust to when it comes to social interactions...
I will say though, there are a lot of times where it really does irk me... Like wtf? I don't know you, why are you calling me one of your lil pet names? It can be rather demeaning.. >_>
Doesn't matter much to me....as long as you don't call me dude or late for dinner lol. I think really the only thing I hate being called is lil momma by the occasional random guy on Facebook thinking he can get in my pants.
Maybe its a southern thing, but many people use those here.. The drive thru lady at burger king, dept store sales people, its everywhere here. My SO is a nurse, and they all talk like that at the hospital to the patients.. Ive never heard of anyone complaining..?
I personally love it, it just starts off any conversation in a warm friendly way..
Definitely a Southern thing. I have never really heard it in NJ but I got it all the time in TN, SC and even TX.
I got called dear by a pan handler the other day, kind of weird.
dear impersonally and darling personally are o.k. but everything else makes my skin crawl.
I generally don't mind, basically because it's normally older women who use these terms on me. When it comes from a male, as unfair as this is, I find it more bothersome. I feel like they are just patting me on the head and treating me like a child. Sometimes when random people do it I'm all ... huh? okay. It's kinda sweet I guess. Maybe not babe... but the rest are fine :P
I would like to preface this with two things. One, I have the good fortune to never be misgendered. Two, I think this is a common thing in the midwest and southern states. It still however, gives me pause when women of all ages say "have a good day babe!" or something like it. I could be buying alcohol and still get it, so it's not like they're saying it to a child.
Oh, speaking of geographical quirks, there also seems to be a lot more sir'ring and ma'aming out here. If I go into a major city, I'm lucky if the cashier even says hi.
I love it
It might be the punk in me, but I hate being called literally any of those. My gf can get away with it, but strangers? No.
It's been happening more often lately. Most of the time it's other women being polite/complimentary as it's the standard thing to do. Occasionally it's someone speaking in a demeaning way, whether intentionally or not. That always catches me off guard.
It annoys me, because I don't like being demeaned or dismissed. But I also take some solace in the fact that that is the exact same reaction most women have to this situation, so I'm normal in my annoyance. Yay! :)
Overall, I consider it a positive result with some slight drawbacks.
I honestly love it!! It puts a huge smile on my face since it often comes from gals, sometimes guys too. I start blushing over lil things.
Quote from: peky on September 17, 2014, 07:17:59 PM
Dear, Honey, babe, sweetheart, darhling, I love them all.... I a such a hooo LOL
Same here. I just love it! :)
I'm still struggling with a majority of 'sirs', but fur shore!! I would love to be called any of those.. I don't care for 'dear' or 'darling' too much though...
If it is from the young guys from the pub next door with their beer goggles on while I'm working. Fantastic as it is language not often heard in male-to-male conversation. Give me a year or two and I will probably be changing my tune, but for now :) :) :) :)
Maybe I'll get tired of it when I have been presenting as female longer, but right now I still love it because it is a strong verbal proof that I am passing well!
I find it irksome, especially from clerks/cashiers.
I like it. Feels like an affirmation of my femininity.
With the exception of babe and sweetheart (which somehow sound a bit false and put-on) I've had all the others, along with the ubiquitous Aussie "darl", a number of times in guy and girl mode. Never from a bloke though. Which is fine by me! :)
Sometimes I will like it, but it usually comes off as demeaning.
I would rather get called this other than "sir". At least it would be a step in the right direction.
Round these parts it's common to greet people with an "Alright my lovely" or "Alright maid".
Weem live in a local village fer local people see.
Though anything is infinitely better than being greeted with a "What the f--k is that/are you?!"
It depends on the context for me. If it's a someone just using it conversationally, then I don't mind it. If its someone trying to hit on me, then probably not (though so far, no one has hit on me). I'm Southern/Appalachia (VA) born and raised, so Hun, Honey, Darling, Dear, etc... are just part of everyday conversation with women. Also, a lot more respect is shown there (in the form of sir/ma'am, holding of doors, etc) than down here in S. Florida where I am now.
"Honey", "Babe" and "Sweetheart" I haven't heard yet. But I have heard "Dear" and "Darling", and it depends on how it's said and who's saying it.
Like the supermarket manager: I was standing in front of the fruit and veg display one morning and he happened to pass by and said, "XXX, darling, how are you?" Cracked me up. He knows me well, good guy. He's flirted with me once or twice in a joking and good way.
Once in a café a guy was leaving with his takeaway order, both hands full, couldn't open the door himself. So I opened it for him and he said, "Thank you, dear." A very friendly and sincere way of saying thanks. I quite liked it.
Here in Ireland what you'll hear quite often is "Good girl!", which usually will mean "Thanks!" or "Well done!" I've known women who don't like that. The "girl" part might sound a bit patronizing. But I don't mind it myself, given that I've always heard it in a friendly manner.
I really enjoy being called these makes me feel warm inside lol
The only one I hate is babe
I kind of like it. I don't here it much here in NJ. When traveling in TN or even parts of FL, I hear it a lot more. This past weekend I got called gorgeous twice by an older guy at a gourmet market in Mahwah, NJ. He was very friendly and polite and had a southern accent and I just assumed it was because of his background. The second time he did it, I though maybe he was hitting on me in front of my wife. Then I noticed he also did it to a few other female customers and just realized he was just being friendly.
I don't care for babe though, only my wife can call me that.
I get that from some cis woman of various ages and think it's kind of sweet. If a man said that to me I would take it as more of a demeaning insult, but that's because I'm not into men and they get that. I call a lot of my trans women friends here honey, sweetie and the like because I am genuinely fond of them and feel some closeness and affinity for them. Then there's Jaime Renee, she really get's the sweetie treatment from me because I think she's a really nice gal and a good long distance friend who I respect and care a lot for. :) Now you know why she gets so irritated and snarky at times. :D
For me I get "ma'am or sweetie" from strangers. From boyfriend I get "Hun, sweetie, babe" for the most part. But I find the names sweet, not demeaning at all. Now if it went further with strangers I might, such as "baby, babe, sexy, candy pants" etc. That's when I know they are just seeing me for a piece of ass. ::) Boys... (rolls eyes)
Quote from: CrissyMarie on September 18, 2014, 07:46:40 PM
For me I get "ma'am or sweetie" from strangers. From boyfriend I get "Hun, sweetie, babe" for the most part. But I find the names sweet, not demeaning at all. Now if it went further with strangers I might, such as "baby, babe, sexy, candy pants" etc. That's when I know they are just seeing me for a piece of ass. ::) Boys... (rolls eyes)
Yeah I sure get that Crissy, kind of creepy objectifying treatment for a female to have to endure.
I had this perfect and lost it grrrr.
Personally I love it. I think alot of people have warm heartedness. It's who they are. In today's world everyone is concerned about everybody else hurting them, and I think that it's nice that some people can truly be who they are. I believe that as Iong as I keep hearing those endearing terms then I will know that humanity is still safe.
Old men lol..... That is completely a another subject... lol I don't get it..... it's like after a certain age they just say screw it all. Yyyyyeahhhhh it can be icky. Or how they can willingly sit at a restaurant and perversely oogle you to the point of uncomfortableness. Its usualy not until you get up and leave or say would you like a picture to take home .... that that you can scrape off the ickyness of it.
Fyi CrissyMarie.... I love your Boy's eye roll comment lol.... so cute.
I don't mind it at all. I like it a lot.
I don't even mind being seen as a piece of ass, boys are going to like girls and you have to use what you got... they carry the heavy things for me so... lol (hangs head in shame).
So understanding the cutesy names and such, I got to thinking about the other things guys do. Like my boyfriend always opening the door for me to places, which is very sweet but I feel helpless, so now when he does it I'll grab the next door to hold open for him. But he just stands there staring at me like wtf. O.ò so I say well just returning the favor. He is like me, old school romantic, which I love but I guess it's just really an eye opener to have all these sweet things happening to me for no reason. I get the chivalrous things and the cute pet names, "Hun, sweetie, babe, love". I love it, but it's strange because I've wanted all these things and now that I get it, I remember back when I did all these things for past girlfriends and they were never appreciative of it. Even something like when I'm pulled in for snuggles, or being spooned on a couch or bed. It's everything I'm use to but different because it's happening to me now instead of me doing all of it for a girl. It just really makes me pause think and pause in the middle of it to be thankful of all the sweet and generous things that guys go through to please us.
.•°*•. .•*°•.
'. ' .' Thank You
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*
I don't mind it. I get weirded out when people who dont know me use my name, and I never liked the whole sir/ma'am/mister/madam thing they feel archaic. So cute titles like sweetie is about the only way someone who doesn't know me can address me without annoying me. English doesn't really require a form of address though, "thank you" works just as well as "thank you, ma'am" and doesn't make me feel so old.
It doesn't bother me, but it did kinda surprised me at first and took some getting use to
I got called Thanks "Hon" today from a convenience store woman clerk, she mean it in a nice way. I kinda laughed
If I get a patronizing vibe from it I pretty much hate, hate, hate it, otherwise it can be ok, even nice in certain contexts.
I don't really mind.. unless the person using the words is a condescending man, then it's something that really grates on me! haha!
makes my skin crawl even when i get it from women. doesn't matter if it's meant as a compliment, or is appropriate, or whatever.
if cootie repellent existed, i'd spray it over whole topics.
might be exposure to toxic levels of being treated as a girl/woman, and lots of condescending attitude as well.
the worst thing that happened recently was when i was buying some planks from a building project that i had to get tied onto the roof of (my mom's) car. the boys who worked at the construction company dared complain about how i didn't bring ratchet straps for securing stuff, when they themselves haven't even learned to tie a proper knot! hemp rope is all i've ever needed to secure some planks. skill inherited from mom and grandma. how a norwegian man, supposedly viking and sailor, can bear not knowing how to tie even the simplest knot, is beyond me.
but that was way beside the point wasn't it? (and my male ideal might be a little outside most norms...)
all i mean to say is that it offends me greatly when people who don't even know that they have poorer skills than me act condescending to me just because of my female build. cutesy pet names from a man... i would never accept it.
but it's not bad when people open the door for me. i'd do the same for anyone, if i reached the door first.
I've liked it when I've been addressed like this ... I've not experienced it done in a condescending fashion (Which I imagine would be most irritating) ...
Sam x
I would find it very uncomfortable and unwelcome if from a male. However, I could accept it from a woman and might even find it as a compliment.
This thread makes me laugh a bit because it seems like I'm constantly called these names at work. I live in New York, so it's definetly not just a southern thing. It seems like for every 3 out of 4 women I speak with call me one of those type of names (with the exception of dear, and the inclusion of sweetie). I don't think it's a gender thing, but I rarely got called those names before transitioning. And even though present at work as male at this time, I am getting it a lot, so I don't know if it means something. Usually, it's said by another woman who is older, though girls my own age use it at times too. It doesn't bother me for the most part. As for guys, I never get called those names by them. There are a few guys that have called me babe, but it's not common and it annoys me when I hear that term. It's just so condescending sounding regardless of what gender is calling you it. That's something that should only be called by someone that is very close with you in some capacity. Anyway, most guys call me buddy if anything which is the "male" version of the above terms.
I almost don't notice it anymore. However, I've recently been addressing everyone from friends to co-workers as "honey" to gauge their reaction. It doesn't seem to shake them. ??? Keep in mind I'm not yet full time and look borderline andro, if not full on gay, and that is by design.
I like how some of the women here from UK address me as "Love" in PM's it has a warm ring to it and comes off as a feminine expression between women, the intent is well received at my end.
Quote from: Alice Rogers on September 25, 2014, 12:11:44 PM
For me (as a brit) if it comes from a stranger 'Love' is usually accompanied by a patronising tone and comes off as misogynistic, from a friend or partner its nice :)
Oh well Alice, I'm too thick skinned to care and think it sounds better than some of the things I've been called.
For me, also from the UK, it's only ever been used as a feminine pleasantry and I like it :-)
Quote from: kira21 ♡♡♡ on September 26, 2014, 02:40:40 AM
For me, also from the UK, it's only ever been used as a feminine pleasantry and I like it :-)
Thanks love, it may have been you who said that to me along with my friend Aeris Houlihan and I always loved it!
I'm afraid I am very guilty of calling people here "hon", or "sweetie". However it is usually meant as a friendly term, to make people feel at their ease.
As for myself, I don't really care. I've been called a lot worse, lol.
I particularly like it from policemen stopping me for speeding :laugh: as it means I don't get a ticket :laugh:
I love to be called them all especially by my boyfriend. Close GG friends can call me honey or sweetie or babe. I don't like it when they say that over the phone from someone I don't know. If out as a man they realize that I am feminine.
As long as they are being sincere, I get a warm loving feeling in my chest when people call me those names haha :P
Well, dear — I'd have no problem with it from anyone (even if they use it jokingly — jokingly as in if a male coworker said "Yes, dear" after I asked them to do something at work, which a few might do. They're funny like that ::) ).
As for darling, only from friends (and only if it's like part of their regular vocabulary).
Honey, babe and sweetheart? No, just no. Unless it's my SO (don't have one currently :P ), who can use babe, I guess.
Honey and sweetheart just seem a bit belittling to me (regardless of whether a man or woman uses it, especially if they say it with "that tone"). Of course, I think it all depends on who's using it and how they're using it. :D
It happens to me and I haven't even started transitioning yet. It's like a form of patronizing but I usually let if fly because it doesn't happen every week.
Even though it's very common down here in the deep south where I live, I have to almost force myself to squeeze out a Thank You Dear, especially to strangers. I know most would enjoy hearing it, and I do like hearing it from others myself, but I was raised in a very traditional Mormon community in Utah, and talking that way was unheard of, and frowned on. I guess those childhood teachings ingrain themselves in us more than we like to admit.?
Quote from: Cindy on September 26, 2014, 02:25:35 PM
I particularly like it from policemen stopping me for speeding :laugh: as it means I don't get a ticket :laugh:
Saw a facebook piccie of a guy who carries a box full of office/desk stuff on the passenger seat with him so he can claim he has just had to clear his desk and is having a BAD day if he gets pulled over. XD
My S.O. calls me all of them and I love them all. Truthfully, honey, dear, and sweetie don't bother me, probably because I just hit one of those really significant age numbers, 60! Lord, I can't believe I'm f---ing sixty years old!!! What were we talking about? Oh yeah, I love it when I'm called those three, but babe? I think I'd slap anyone but my guy!
A nice cis woman friend of mine called me sweet heart yesterday. I replied it was nice of her to call me that, it makes me feel good.
I enjoy being called sweetie, honey...
For me this is the way girls treat each other most of times. It is a cute way of talking, not that rude and serious way man talks :-X =P
Given I'm pretty much always called baby, honey, sweeheart, and babe (by my SO), I'd have to, or I'd be one angry person. I love babe from my SO.the others used to bother me but now it just is. I certainly didn't do this to be called tough guy lol
I get all but "babe" from my wife and like her use of those terms. I would not have a problen receiving them from other women but would be rather uncomfortable receiving them from a man.