Well it just happened,
I came out to my parent's just now. It was a complete accident - it happen during a argument and I just screamed "You don't understand, what I've been through!". At first I wasn't sure I actually said something. Everyone just immediately calmed down. They began asking what I was talking about and it took me awhile to say something but I finally said I was transgender. My mom began to ask questions and my dad stayed pretty silent. We talked for a good while and to make a long story short they said they just want me to be happy and will support me. But they were sad I didn't tell them earlier.
The shocking thing is they did not act freaked out, they were pretty accepting as I write this I am still dazed and confused and wondering if it actually happen. I feel strangely peaceful for the first time in a loooong time.
their in the "what do we do phase", soon the "this is a mistake" struggle will begin and it will not end quietly. :-\
Congrats on saying what your heart has wanted to say for so long though! :)
Hey - YOU DID IT! :) Let that sink in. Congratulations!
Quote from: Kyra553 on September 19, 2014, 07:57:08 PM
their in the "what do we do phase", soon the "this is a mistake" struggle will begin and it will not end quietly. :-\
Congrats on saying what your heart has wanted to say for so long though! :)
It has already started on "this is a mistake" I showed my mom the forums and the before and after thread. She fears for me mostly, but also said a few things about taking drugs not to be this way.
I told her I wasn't going to do anything till I talk with a therapist and she seem to agree on that. I am still in shock mode myself it feels like I am dreaming right now.
Better out than in. Congrats!
Trust me, there are no drugs that will make you not feel this way. I exhausted them all. Estrogen was the only thing that put a dent in it.
Quote from: Jill F on September 19, 2014, 08:32:35 PM
Trust me, there are no drugs that will make you not feel this way. I exhausted them all. Estrogen was the only thing that put a dent in it.
This for sure!!! ^-^
Aina congrats on coming out. Besides accepting it ourselves this was the hardest step in my opinion. I will caution you though as Kyra is correct. The shock will give way to all the classic signs of grief. Be prepared for this and stay strong and resolute. You can get through it as you have a lot of family here who will help when things get tough. I am so happy for you in this momentous step! :)
Thank you everyone I will do my best, it is only day two and it is really still my mom who has all the questions and I am not sure how to answer them. My dad has still stayed fairly quit but I feel he is just as confused as my mom.
I have already began looking for a therapist and my mom actually believes I should start going to this monthly transgender meeting group that is near so I can meet people like myself. So I feel as the very least she is on my side even though she has stated she doesn't understand.
At this point I am not 100% sure where my path will lead, if I fully transition or not. I do feel however a great burden has been lifted and it is so nice to know I don't need to worry about my parents finding out about my double life.
My parents were the same way at first. After I came out to them they were all "we support you and love you no matter what and we'll do everything we can to help you" They went to bed and 12 hours later I got a phone call saying "THIS" was NOT going to happen and thus the 8 month long war of I have no idea how I feel about myself & who I am, but my family does began. They have only recently made it out of that phase as I already live full time as ME for the past two months and they tried everything under the sun to get me to de-transition and pushed me to the brink of existence way too many times in the process. If you haven't fully opened up to them about everything do that now & get it all out of the way so they know everything, even the really painful things that you don't want to talk about. It wasn't until I told them about my suicide attempt when coming to terms with who I am from September 2013 that led me to almost kill myself because I could no longer live the way I had up to that point and how transitioning was my only hope that they really started to try to come to terms with reality. They can look back now and see that yes transitioning was the best thing for me as I am now a happy, talkative, kind & wonderful person who shines brightly and I actually have more friends now that I ever did where a year ago I was so introverted and withdrawn from human contact that I could barely say a word let alone actually smile or try to act happy.
I hope that your family doesn't take the same path mine did and that they truly do mean what they said. Congratulations on coming out to them :D
congrats Aina , proud of you . I yet to come out to my parents , which will happen in this coming month. not sure what to expect but dam sure i want this heavy weight on chest to be gone and forever.
Came out to my younger brother who clearly had no idea what i was talking about, he is not being supportive or showing interest in knowing what exactly am going through. I only came out to him because he is my roommate and that being at the same place with a person transitioning he will sure see changes and things that are not confirming to his the society norms, so it had to happen :)
Mom and Dad will visit us next week, they will be here for a month. I am not planing to say anything the first three weeks ( tho I've had enough of hiding and lying) and live as me with out the feminine side of me( not sure how am gonna do that tho), then on the third week i will come out. I know that the first reaction is false most of the time, so i will ask them not to react and not to say anything the same day and i hope it works for them to understand what it is and they come back with questions. I am planing to have a card printed which i will give it to both my parents after coming out to them, in the cards just simple facts of GI and other facts like how much i love them
wish me luck , i really would love it if my parent are there when i am happy being the true me but at the same time i won't be mad at them if they don't
Very nice, it must be an interesting storm to pass thru. I've yet to come out to family, one sister,nephew, and my son, so there are still a few storms on my horizon. Your an inspiration. Dani
Congratulations Aina, the hardest part is over, getting started.