OK here's a quick run through up to my present reality. When I was three years old, I fell in love with Ballet. I mean hopelessly, utterly, "OMGs I have to do this or I will DIE" mentality. No schools took three year olds in those days (I wish that were still the case, but that's another topic for another board lol), but I never let up pestering my mother and as soon as I turned five I took my first class. I was Home. Fast forward through a lifetime of body issues, weight issues, dysmorphic issues, and other issues culminating in my recent realization about the fact I'm not just super Butch but I'm a dude (who other set of issues) and it probably won't come as a surprise to anybody here that I've been depressed for so long it just felt normal.
Through all of that, ballet was there. Sometimes in the forefront, as when I actually lost enough weight and pushed myself so hard I was professional for two years, more often, though, it just lived in my heart, and felt unattainable. Two weeks ago I was so distraught about life and how it seemingly has just kicked my butt since I was born, and was just miserable. Then I happened to come across a local ad for the Dance School here, and I had a wild thought. I wondered if they'd accept me as a student, obviously in the early stages of transition, dancing male roles. I wrote an email telling them my story, and how I was presently extremely overweight, out of shape, unhappy, and missing ballet. I expected to hear nothing back, but they promptly did, and welcomed me with open arms.
Yesterday I took my first class as a guy. It was like coming Home, and felt more natural to me than all the other years I spent as a female feeling 'not right' and out of place, and not good enough. For the first time in my life, even though I have so much flab to lose, even though I'm not a kid anymore, I felt like I knew Ballet was supposed to feel like. I felt strong, confident and of course completely worn out afterwards. :)
Are there any more here that are like me? I can't find any F2M dancers through Google, I know I can't possibly be the only one. I would really love to chat with other guys who are going through, or have gone through, what I'm dealing with now. Learning how to dress for class differently, learning how to move differently, all that stuff. If I'm the only one, then that's OK, too, at least I got to share my story, and how happy I finally am. :)
A beautiful story which somehow mirrors mine - but going the other way. I loved acrobatics as a child but circumstances and a school who thought all children should play football meant that I never lived dance. My sister did ballet but it just didn't seem right for me. How I regretted it over the years.
Fast forward to 38 years old, having done lots of aerobics but never found my home in sports until starting private ballet class last summer. I transitioned (mtf) during this and found the exercises beautiful. As my old shell crumbled so I moved into a more calm, poised future. Now post op what I miss the most are ballet and gym classes. Minor complications have stopped me returning - but hopefully the worst is over and the classes can restart in late October.
Body and movement awareness - holding a poise / the feeling of being in touch with the soul during a dance shod not be gender related. Rather the freedom of stepping out from an old shell is - just amazing!
And it is likely your deep muscles will retain the memory of younger dance and I'm sure all the ladies will fall for a strong male lead...
I dance but I am into hip hop, dubstep and I also impersonate the king of pop himself.
Quote from: Colt on September 20, 2014, 11:26:34 AM
If I'm the only one, then that's OK, too, at least I got to share my story, and how happy I finally am. :)
I dance alot in my room and when im drunk at parties but not professionally. I wish I was really good at it.
-
for dancers check this profil out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAdbqAbRq98&list=UUKSxQhFazUsuurqxTDpSG0g&index=11
Thanks for your support and sharing your own stories! I really enjoy hearing about other people's journeys. All dance is great, that's for sure. :)
I have a ftm friend/aqcuaintance who is a dancer. Not sure if he does ballet specifically, but I know he did one of the classical forms of dance as well as modern dance, not to mention just dancing at the clubs and whatnot. So you're definitely not the only one!
Glad you are finally able to be yourself. Everyone should get to do what makes them happy!
Quote from: Colt on September 20, 2014, 11:26:34 AM
OK here's a quick run through up to my present reality. When I was three years old, I fell in love with Ballet. I mean hopelessly, utterly, "OMGs I have to do this or I will DIE" mentality. No schools took three year olds in those days (I wish that were still the case, but that's another topic for another board lol), but I never let up pestering my mother and as soon as I turned five I took my first class. I was Home. Fast forward through a lifetime of body issues, weight issues, dysmorphic issues, and other issues culminating in my recent realization about the fact I'm not just super Butch but I'm a dude (who other set of issues) and it probably won't come as a surprise to anybody here that I've been depressed for so long it just felt normal.
Through all of that, ballet was there. Sometimes in the forefront, as when I actually lost enough weight and pushed myself so hard I was professional for two years, more often, though, it just lived in my heart, and felt unattainable. Two weeks ago I was so distraught about life and how it seemingly has just kicked my butt since I was born, and was just miserable. Then I happened to come across a local ad for the Dance School here, and I had a wild thought. I wondered if they'd accept me as a student, obviously in the early stages of transition, dancing male roles. I wrote an email telling them my story, and how I was presently extremely overweight, out of shape, unhappy, and missing ballet. I expected to hear nothing back, but they promptly did, and welcomed me with open arms.
Yesterday I took my first class as a guy. It was like coming Home, and felt more natural to me than all the other years I spent as a female feeling 'not right' and out of place, and not good enough. For the first time in my life, even though I have so much flab to lose, even though I'm not a kid anymore, I felt like I knew Ballet was supposed to feel like. I felt strong, confident and of course completely worn out afterwards. :)
Are there any more here that are like me? I can't find any F2M dancers through Google, I know I can't possibly be the only one. I would really love to chat with other guys who are going through, or have gone through, what I'm dealing with now. Learning how to dress for class differently, learning how to move differently, all that stuff. If I'm the only one, then that's OK, too, at least I got to share my story, and how happy I finally am. :)
There was a FTM on here and I think he did professional (or close to it), dance. He was asking about gear for packers as he worried about how his looked when he danced. I can't remember the name of the person, nor what the thread title was, but I think it was in the FTM gear section. I don't think that in the thread title he mentioned that he was a dancer, but somewhere in the thread (maybe even the first post). I would guess it was around 6 months ago, so you would have to go back. He also was looking for another FTM who danced.
Maybe he will come upon this thread or someone here will remember who/what thread I am referring to.
EDIT: Ooops, sorry I got it wrong. He is a figure skater! https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162258.0.html
You didn't mention any packing issues, but thought you might like to read the thread anyway, in case it is an issue for you now, or later.
My son did ballet for a time.
I fell in love with ballet my freshman year of highschool and progressed fast enough that I was in the top class by the time I quit. I quit last month to go to college and start my transition. It honestly was one of the hardest decisions for me because I wanted to dance professionally so bad and my instructor thought I had a chance but I wouldn't have been able to transition.
I almost did it but it turned out I needed to transition. I'm hoping once I'm on T to start back up. There are actually dancers from the pro studio here in my city living in my dorm and it's so hard to see them because while I love art(I'm in art school) I would love to be doing what they are.
I heard they thinking about combining my art school and the dance school and if that happened I would love to minor in dance.
Pardon my quoting from another thread, but Felix appears to have done some ballet as well. Doesn't seem like he still does though.
Quote from: Felix on September 21, 2014, 05:39:46 AM
The other day I was on the bus with my kid, and she asked me if ballet was harder than gymnastics. We weren't talking loud or anything, but when I answered with "when I was doing ballet..." two different people spun around in their seats and looked at me like I had announced that I had a bomb.
the sun king kind of invented ballet.
no reason why men shouldn't study this noble art.
It is a great thing to "follow your bliss". :)
--Jay
I just wanted to say congrats. I've always enjoyed watching ballet, more for the music than dancing, but I think there is a lot of talent in moving the way they do. Following your heart and doing what you want is always a great feeling. Hope things keep going well.
Aw, this story made me smile. I used to do ballet and tap in my younger days (and perform a lot in general) - but nothing since transitioning so I'm afraid I can't help much there. The only dancing I've done since transitioning was in a night club and I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing :D
Wow Colt that's so awesome! It's so great hearing about stories like yours.
I've always wanted to do modern dance, but after puberty I became super self conscious of my female form so I couldn't have imagined going to a dance class (I stopped sports I loved, like swimming because I couldn't stand being in a swim suit), but I am totally thinking of starting once I start T! That's so great you found a place that's so open, I hope I do too! :)