Not really sure why but lately on T i've just been kinda angry at my parents.
they aren't mean at all, they support my transition and generally leave me alone.
but like sometimes my dad will come up to me and say something kinda harmless, and I'll just whip it back at him. like no matter what my parents are talking about it's annoying to me and i feel like a total dick.
they still struggle calling me right pronouns and by my new name but i'm giving them time to correct themselves, they're getting better at it.
but man, anyone else have this problem??? like no matter what they say i can just feel myself getting irritated much more than i used to. I've heard of teenage boys sort of going through ornery teenage stage as they mature just cuz they want to get out of the house. I don't know :/ I don't like being such a jerk to them but i like i dunno can't help it.
Frankly I was much more of a cranky A-hole before T. This is one of those YMMV things.
"I can't help it" attitude gets you nowhere good. You've identified that you're rude sometimes when you don't want to be. That's the first step. The second step is to decide to do something about it. Some possibilities:
- Talk to them and tell them you've noticed this happens lately, apologize, and express intent to work on it. Consider thanking them for their patience as you go through this adjustment period.
- Try paying more attention to your state of mind to begin with. If you know you're cranky at the moment, you're more prepared to take a moment to respond to things better.
- Try to find some things you can do that reliably improve your mood. Then, do them regularly. Especially if you find yourself cranky.
- When you notice you were inappropriately rude, apologize to the person. Even if it's awhile after the fact. Accountability makes a difference.
- If you know you're in a really s----y mood and are likely to snipe at people, if possible get some alone time to do whatever works for you to feel better. Even if it's just leaving a situation briefly to take some deep breaths.
I notice you also describe what they're saying as "
kinda harmless". Either it's harmless or it isn't. Maybe it's the kind of thing that seems harmless to them, but it rubs you the wrong way every time. If there's some kind of problem with what they're saying, or how they're saying it, and it is consistently showing up, a calm discussion about that might help.
This article is geared towards teenagers, but if this is a hormonal adjustment issue it still applies:
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Rude-to-Your-Parents
Here's a more general article on being nicer to people.
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Mean-to-People
Quote from: BeefxCake on September 20, 2014, 12:06:24 PMI've heard of teenage boys sort of going through ornery teenage stage as they mature just cuz they want to get out of the house. I don't know :/ I don't like being such a jerk to them but i like i dunno can't help it.
I remember those days. Not fondly, either. Testosterone surging through a teenager guy's brain causes him to generally be a complete and utter jerk, and can turn a nice kid into a surly, grumpy, mean and unpleasant beast very quickly. I know it turned me from a nice ten year old into a total moron.
It does wear off...after five years or so...;)
Well my little brother is going through the stage and it turned him from a sweet little boy into a complete d. I can get how you're acting, from experience like he'll snap when I say whatever to ANYTHING, but hey teen boys can be a-holes.
Try telling your parents that you are sorry, genuinely, and just try explaining the effects of the T. Hopefully that can help. Now hopefully I can help my little brother with it too, haha
You're going through puberty and interacting with parents... seems pretty normal that you'd be moody.
My younger cis-male cousin is going through some of the same stuff. He's 16, so he's been "on T" as it were for a couple of years already.
Granted, everyone is different. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just apologize whenever you're able and do nice things to remind your parents you love them.
If you find that your mean or rude behavior is continuing for an extended period of time, or you start being rude to others besides your parents, it might be worth bringing up with a therapist.
Yeah, like I'm generally really nice to talk to, im not mean to my friends, I joke i laugh im happy but as soona s my arents talk im just ready to explode at any time and it's concerning.
and it's just my parents, not my grandparents or my sister.
and I don't know if i can say it's the T? I've been pretty s***ty around them since before i started but now it seems to present itself diferently to me. I feel it more in my face and ready to come out rather than before it was sort of like a simmering, annoying feeling in my chest. more like something i could ignore, where as now it feels like if i say something wrong it'll just get out and that'll be that.
thanks for the tips though i'll keep them in mind
I'm kind of wondering now why it tends to be specifically parents that we hate. Like, I don't think there's a gene that says, as soon as T hits it, "Hate your parents!" or something.
That being said, my entire family tends to piss me off except for an uncle. Especially very close family (parents, grandparents). At this point I'll just straight up tell them to stop talking to me. "No. Don't ask- shhh. Stop talking."
It isn't T, its teens. It has happened since forever, normal. Live with it, recognize it and grow as all teens must do.
BTW, growth means apologizing when appropriate and learning to change bad behaviors.
I believe that blink has given the best advice here.
I don't know how old you are, BeefxCake, but if you are a teenager yourself - then perhaps the teenager/puberty explanation would suffice.
I personally believe that immaturity and an underdeveloped teenage brain, combined with T, is the reasoning behind much of the typical "rude teenager" behaviour - not T on its own. So I personally feel that adults being rude on T has a bit more to do with an attitude problem coupled with a shorter fuse.
I am 19 going on 20 in a few weeks. So im on the tail end of teendom. But i guess still young enough this is a problem still xP