I go by Lyla, but I am still waiting for the perfect name to jump out at me. I am an 18 year old trans girl, and I have recently stopped fighting what I have felt my whole life. I just completed a 5-page essay on my journey, so I will try not to get into too many details. I was born with the body of a male, but I identify as female. I will skip my effeminate childhood (princess dress-up, barbies, playing the mom in games of make-believe, etc.) Having been told I was different and "gay" for so long, I finally started to look into what I was feeling. I came out as transgender at the age of 15, but I was sent to a Christian counselor who played upon my ignorance and doubts in order to bottle these thoughts up. The next two years of my life were absolute hell. I started suffering from severe anxiety and depression which led to cutting (my entire left thigh is still a scarred mess.) I started abusing drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and forget my problems, but that only drove my few friends away. After 2 years mental anguish, I decided that I could not go on living. At age 17, I attempted to kill myself. I failed, and shortly after that I began to understand that my entire life would be this way if I kept pretending to be a boy. After coming to terms with the reality of my situation, I started planning to begin my transition. I joined Susan's a few weeks ago, and I have read dozens of topics already. My first appointment with a gender therapist is Wednesday, and I have never been more excited! How is that for an intro, Ladies? :laugh:
Hello and Welcome Lyla..
Its so nice to meet you..!
There's a great group here, lots of good info, support
And new friends..
Take care,
Mark
A big warm welcome to the family Lyla! Sounds like you are off to a good start now and if there is anything we can do to help, just ask. We are here for the good AND bad days you have and no question is too silly. Relax and continue digging in here. We are happy to have you sister! :)
Please read these very important topics
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
Lyla, welcome! What we are going through can at times seem insurmountable but as a friend and therapist once said to me, "No permanent solutions to a temporary problem!". Good advice. It helped get me through a very rough year. Within 7 months my life had turned around completely and I was happy, having fun, enjoying my new job, met a wonderful woman, and was traveling to exotic places.
Life is full of ups and downs. Do whatever it takes to make it through the rough times (including prescribed medication, if warranted) and just take it a day at a time. Try to set a goal, even a small one for each day. And have fun! This too shall pass.
Jen
Welcome Layla to Susan's family.
Lots to read and questions to ask.
Hugs
Izzy
Welcome to the family, Layla! Here's some some cookies and hot chocolate to help you settle in ;D