Hey I just stumbled across this website and realized I needed to get this out. My name is Alex, I am a ftm. Even when I was younger I never felt like a girl, I was in the "extreme tomboy "phase" indistinguishable from my male cousins and damn happy. As I got older this all changed and it turned out I was to. Yet it never did, when I was around 12 I looked up ftms for the first time and had a epiphany! Nothing had ever been so clear in my life. My one obstacle... And current one...My religious extremist family. I kept my mouth shut, I was content being "unfemine" and a "tomboy. I was an outed lesbian(to all but my traditionalist father). I got a short haircut, beefed up a little in the gym, and crossdressed. Yet something wasnt right still! I get uncomfortable getting called and thought of even as a "she" I despise being viewed and treated female. I like my body to an extent... I used to have dysmorphia. Its not me though, I admire it like an attractive stranger and still feel sad looking in the mirror and wanting to see how I view myself and being disappointed. My dads views on trans people and sexuality is clear. I am telling my therapist next week to see if she can find a trans specialist. I hear its best to start young. My dad might bar me! Definitely wont approve! I have to find a way! I have no other relatives to help! Im tired of hiding! Why did I have to be born a guy in a girls body! It sometimes feels like a cruel joke... I just want to have advice on how to get my dad who will never "accept the sinful lifestyle" (He is the pastor of a baptist church... He will be mad at me for disgracing him) to at least let me proceed even if he doesnt approve. I want to at least start testastrone... I definitely want surgery after graduation. I am afraid this will GREATLY affect future communication with most of my family. My dad even says he is "disgusted" by transpeople and will call them by their gender... I need.... Relief.
- Slightly depressed, angry at the world, and tired.
I apologize for my contemptible spelling and grammar, low functioning iphone keyboard and unwillingness to spend an hour correcting my rant.0
Hi! It looks like we joined at the same time(ish). Welcome to Susan's! [Insert correct spelling here]. It looks like we may be good friends in the future, but for new, I need to get to sleep or I'll end up walking 2 miles to school tomorrow today In six hours. I
won't be on much during the day, but I'll check again tomorrow night to see what kind of responses my intro has, and what you reply. :)
Best of luck! xoxo
Hi Alex :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
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Hugs
V M
Man, that sounds really tough. At least you have a therapist to talk to, it's a good start. I was really worried about my parents, but with time, things might work out better. I don't think you can start any hrt without parental consent (Which is a problem with me, but I've only got 2 years left) so hang in there. What really has been helping me is I came out this year at school- And dealing with the wrong pronoun at home doesn't really bother me anymore. If you're in a safe place people can be incredibly supportive.
Welcome Alex to Susan's family.
Family ignorance of GD is something everyone had to work on education.
We try our best. I have been out to my parents since 05 and they still say the he him. Blah! It hurts but my parents do not see me but 2-3 x a year so I give them slack unless in public.
Day at a time, forum is full of information and help. Ask all the questions needed.
Hugs
Izzy