Susan's Place Transgender Resources

General Discussions => Entertainment => Humor => Topic started by: Cindy on September 22, 2014, 04:30:18 AM

Title: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Cindy on September 22, 2014, 04:30:18 AM
No I didn't.

But why is the silliest thing you have ever done or said and got away with?

I told a friend that my Aunt had been struck by lightening on a golf course; between the first and second holes.

She believed me :embarrassed:

(think about it :laugh:)
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Ms Grace on September 22, 2014, 04:40:37 AM
Several years ago I flat out denied I was me to someone from my past who bumped into me at a busy train station. I did it for three reasons, I didn't recognise the person at first, instead of walking up and saying "hi, remember me?" he approached me with weird cryptic questions about whether I went to a particular university, and once I realised who he was I really didn't want to talk to him, not in a million years. So yeah, I denied I was me - I'm not sure if he believed me or not but he left me alone.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: immortal gypsy on September 22, 2014, 04:53:17 AM
I'm doing something (say a haircut, start a diet) on the 30th of February.

The amount of times I've said this and people accept it at face value is amazing.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 22, 2014, 05:50:43 AM
I got tagged to do a Facebook status, those silly status games where you post a silly line and if people fall for it, they (generally) do the game and pass it along.

I picked, "Why is there nobody around when I am horny?" because it was the most ridiculous lie of them all.

I'm asexual and I have a low-to-non-existent libido. So when my friend took it seriously and messaged me privately saying, "I'd come over and (short word for sexual intercourse) you!"

... It was so hilarious!!!  :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: I had to tell her it was flattering but no, thank you. :icon_rolleyes2:
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Mark3 on September 22, 2014, 07:36:26 AM
When I was younger, went to a theatre movie with a friend..
The threatre had strict "No food or drink" policy..

We were able by some miracle to smuggle 2 full course Chinese dinners, and a 6-pack of beer into the movie,
and finish it all without anyone noticing us... The popping open of the beer cans was the hardest,
it had to be timed perfect to the shooting of a gun or other load noise in the movie..

We laughed about that for years after....!  ;D
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: big kim on September 22, 2014, 08:30:51 AM
Henry was a real know all and delighted asking questions no one knew the answer to.One night the 5 of us were cruising around in his car when we passed a restaurant called the Bodega Grill.He asked me if I knew what a Bodega was,quick as a flash and with a straight face I told him it was a Spanish meal consisting of a grilled lizard in a spicy tomato sauce.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Jill F on September 22, 2014, 08:44:57 AM
Once at some event I had to wear that dumb name tag sticker, "Hello, My Name Is"...

Well, a few people knew me, and the rest I would never see again.  I filled in the name:

Darryl Licht

Hey, open bar, right?

Next time I'm going to fill it in, "Inigo Montoya- You killed my father, prepare to die."
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: suzifrommd on September 22, 2014, 09:06:40 AM
Quote from: Cindy on September 22, 2014, 04:30:18 AM
I told a friend that my Aunt had been struck by lightening on a golf course; between the first and second holes.

See, now I always heard that as "stung by a bee". Then it becomes sort of an anatomical reference.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Allyda on September 22, 2014, 01:52:44 PM
For me it has to be when I swiped all the teacher's and Principal's paddles at this Catholic school my adopted father insisted I go to to straighten me out while the school held a pep rally.

Well, they were going to paddle me if I didn't cut my hair, so I took away their means to do so, lol! This was a Friday, and I had a nice lil bonfire/weenie roast that Saturday in the woods behind the school. Can you guess what I used for firewood?

Ally ;)
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Newgirl Dani on March 22, 2015, 09:52:16 AM
Myself back at age 10 or 11 and 4 or 5 friends would all gather inside this five & dime store (called Kress's), each separated from each other.  The door to the store was situated on the corner of the street.  During a (sunny), busy day when people would not be paying attention to who was with who, we would each take our turn going out onto the sidewalk.  The first person would stop unexpectedly and look up into the sky, you could "always" count on some passerby to do the same, wondering what the person was looking at.  Eventually the one in on it would say "What is That?", the unknowing person would obviously not see anything, but would say "What?".  First person would say "I dont know?"  "but what is it?", and about this time, maybe about 1 minute later, the second person would walk out only not wait for a cue but just look up and say "What the heck IS that?".  One by one we would go out each playing our part.

The total result would be a group all gathered together on the corner trying to determine 'what it was'.  Human nature would almost guarantee that someone would venture a guess  ;D, which only fueled more curiosity, and in turn more people 'thinking' they actually were seeing something.  We would then slowly leave the group, stand back away from them and watch.   >:-)  >:-)  >:-).   Dani
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: ChiGirl on March 22, 2015, 10:04:34 AM
I've got 2: a short one and a long one.  First, when I was 16, my friend and I had a long weekend where most of our friends were away on a retreat and my parents were out of town.  So it was just us and we were BORED!  So... We took my mom's car and we drove from Chicago to Milwaukee.  We had lunch, goofed around, and came home that night.  No one ever found out.  Can't believe my parents never looked at the mileage on the car!

Second, my family was vacationing in the Virgin Islands with our extended family (grandparents 50th anniversary).  We heard a rumor that Princess Diana's yacht was moored offshore (This was 1992).  My cousin is/was a huge Diana fan, so she was excited by this.  On the day before she was leaving, which was a day before everyone else, she said she was too down to go the beach with us.  She was such a pain about it, my mom thought we should all tell her that we saw Princess Diana at the beach.  We came up with all the details, including the color of her suit.  We even enlisted other people staying at the resort.  My cousin totally bought it and was kicking herself for not going.  The next day after she left, we realized no one told her the truth.  Oops! [emoji1]
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: AbeLane on March 22, 2015, 12:07:30 PM
Okay. I feel horrible admitting my brothers and I did this. But we have a sister whose about ten years younger than us who had to have open heart surgery when she was one. So she has a huge scar that wraps around one whole side if her chest. When she got old enough to ask what it was, my brothers and I told her when she was little we were at the beach and a shark bit her and tried to take her away to eat her, but we beat up the shark and saved her.

She believed us for about two weeks until she mentioned it to our mother...
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: big kim on March 22, 2015, 02:27:53 PM
Silliest thing I did was set my crotch on fire setting light to a fart while drunk and stoned off my face on home grown.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: traci_k on March 23, 2015, 01:53:36 PM
In college I missed a mid-term due to skipping too many classes. When I realized such, I typed up a phoney hospital bill from a hospital I worked at the previous summer and told the professor I had been in the hospital in Chicago for knee surgery. I even asked him if he'd like to see the scar. He said no and let me make up the test. God only knows what would have happened if he said okay let's see. There was no scar. I did get to make up the test. Don't remember, but I probably didn't do to good.

Too many days at Harry's Chocolate Shoppe.
Title: Re: I gave my dog LSD and it thought it was a parrot - and other lies
Post by: Dee Marshall on March 23, 2015, 06:37:57 PM
Many years ago when our son was little we were on the MassPike driving to Salem for a vacation. I noticed that all the Massachusetts cars in sight were of one of three colors. I told him that Massachusetts was a very patriotic state and all cars had to be red, white, or blue. He doubted me but I was lucky no cars of other colors appeared. We stopped for lunch and he ran to the restroom. The waitress came by and I told her I'd double her tip if she played along with whatever my son asked her, but I didn't actually tell her the joke. When he came back he was still doubtful so I told him to ask the waitress when she came by. He asked her about the cars and without prompting she said, "of course, we're very patriotic here."

Finally in Boston he saw a green car.