Has anyone ever gone this route? That is, to interview for a new job as your gender to be, while not having your name change or coming out to your current employer? And what did you tell your future employers about checking references?
I'm considering doing this. I don't really want to go full-time at my current job because a) I'm not too sure others would be very receptive to the idea and b) I don't like my job and would like a new one...regardless of the gender thing. Sure, on the one hand I'm understandably fearful of coming out on the job, but I really think I could bypass some unnecessary pain by switching jobs. I'd prefer to make a clean break from my current company and have the least amount of people know of my change.
Has anyone pulled off such a caper? It seems like timing is everything in this situation.
Suzie
I got a new job shortly before going fulltime. I ended up coming out a month and a half after starting and then going fulltime about 3 weeks after that. Yes, I still have the same job. I'm sure I looked like a very feminine male or something at the interview since I was already on hormones. I even wore a bra to the interview because it reduced the likelihood of my breast showing through my shirt.
Suzie,
I've thought about getting a second job in my gender to be. I'm lucky that my (guy) name is androgynous - they won't have a clue from the name alone. I've also worked for this company before, so I have good references there, albeit as a male.
The only thing that's really holding me back is interviewing for it. I guess that I'm scared that they'll hassle me, even though I know this company is gender-change friendly.
I'll let you know how it goes at interview time.
Carol
When I went full time I was between jobs. I had a resume with my old name at 7-eleven, and I got a call to come in. A lot of people told me not to go in as myself because it would probably freak my employer out and I wouldn't get the job and be looking for a job yet again.
I went in anyway.
When I walked into the office for the interview, the person hiring looked at the resume, looked at me, looked at the resume again and didn't know what to say.
"That's the right resume," I said, "but now I perfer to be called Natalie." I then started to explain what I was up to.
I got the job. :)
--natalie
PS I no longer work there, because I eventually got another job, and then another and now I just quit my current job and I'm getting another. I've had a lot of jobs in the last year -- but now I'm finally moving from retail to something more office like.
I sort of did the melissa's thing. Got a job in jan this year as old me and came out to boss 2 months later and everyone else a few weeks after that. Of course I started there with plucked eyebrows and earrings, I work in an engineering office. I sometimes wished I had started out in Female form, but at the time my references were not all aware of the new me. Though there is lots to learn being female and to pass with some percentage.
But there is no one right way to do things, so however you do it, just be you.
Beni