I am gonna be with my dad and she plans on moving out of state, so do I just start without telling her or what. This is one of the main reasons I again wish I was a normal bio male no one has time for the arguing and the tears at all, I wish I could have just gone through puberty how I should have so no one would complain or be pissed.
i think you should start it, then tell her you're doing it.
I think parents that feel they still have a chance to sway their child to not do this might try to, but if you're already on it and seriously going through transition then she might take it betteR? i dunno thats a tough spot :c
Tell her after you start. I'm in the same boat as you only difference is that I'm 25 and still living at home. I'm telling them after I start it cause I don't want them to think that they still have a choice in my decisions. I've already written out my letter and waiting 1 more month to give it to them.
I'm six weeks on T and haven't told my mom yet.
Then again I don't see her too much since I live on my own.
I'm seven months on T and still haven't told my mother I'm on T, but then she lives hundreds of miles away and we don't talk very often, which frankly is the way I like it. Eventually, when she comes for the holidays I will probably tell her. If you've already been on it a while, it gets harder to try to convince you to stop.
I'm planning to either text her, or wait until she asks. If she argues then I'm putting the phone down. I live the other side of the country now.
Quote from: BeefxCake on September 27, 2014, 09:11:13 PM
i think you should start it, then tell her you're doing it.
I think parents that feel they still have a chance to sway their child to not do this might try to, but if you're already on it and seriously going through transition then she might take it betteR? i dunno thats a tough spot :c
Nah she's not gonna take it better either way.
Quote from: Frank on September 28, 2014, 12:43:34 AM
I'm seven months on T and still haven't told my mother I'm on T, but then she lives hundreds of miles away and we don't talk very often, which frankly is the way I like it. Eventually, when she comes for the holidays I will probably tell her. If you've already been on it a while, it gets harder to try to convince you to stop.
Yea ill just start it without telling her and wait a bit.
As others said, I'd start without telling her. From what you've said of her in other places I'm sure she will try to argue and convince you not to start, but there's a little less chance of that if you've already started. My parents are mostly accepting and they still tried to argue about it until I started- now they're fine. Or at least they don't voice concerns anymore. If you wait until there are obvious changes, then your mom doesn't have as much to argue with.
If it was me, I wouldn't tell her. When you do talk to her she'll be the one who asks (about your voice.)
Quote from: CursedFireDean on September 28, 2014, 11:24:11 AM
As others said, I'd start without telling her. From what you've said of her in other places I'm sure she will try to argue and convince you not to start, but there's a little less chance of that if you've already started. My parents are mostly accepting and they still tried to argue about it until I started- now they're fine. Or at least they don't voice concerns anymore. If you wait until there are obvious changes, then your mom doesn't have as much to argue with.
That's my plan.
Quote from: makipu on September 28, 2014, 11:51:36 AM
If it was me, I wouldn't tell her. When you do talk to her she'll be the one who asks (about your voice.)
Yea most likely what I am gonna do, Just wish it didn't have to be like this.
I just dealt with this situation about 2 months ago with my sister since she is more judgmental than any of the other people in my family. I was originally not going to tell her until after I started T but ultimately I decided to tell her beforehand because no matter what, that talk/conversation was going to be hard. I really think it's the trans guy or girl's preference to tell when they see fit. I thought she was going to try to sway me but she didn't. That's a tough one man, just do it when you're ready. Good luck on whatever you decide.
That's all gonna be up to you bro. I guess it depends on whether you'd let her influence your decision or not. I'd say tell her up front before you start. Tell her what to expect. And then do you.
Quote from: KamTheMan on September 28, 2014, 06:41:04 PM
That's all gonna be up to you bro. I guess it depends on whether you'd let her influence your decision or not. I'd say tell her up front before you start. Tell her what to expect. And then do you.
Nah cuz she movin to AZ she's gonna try and stop me Ill wait until there is obvious changes she will most likely figure it out anyways bruh.
Thanks for this thread. I still don't think my mom has a clue what I'm in therapy for or why I'm up her ass about calling my doctor anymore.
An acquaintance of mine has told his mom (though she was the last to learn, I believe). She still sees her but she has never accepted it, keeps using "she" and so on. Though now that he has a beard, she is the one who looks nuts, and servers kind of shake their head when she calls him "she" or his birth name in public.
I would let her know at your own pace. Whenever that might be. Some family come around very very eventually and some just won't. Glad your father is accepting.
--Jay
Think this is going to be the hardest part of transitioning for me. I know that nobody will be able to change my mind but there's no way my mum's going to take it well.
I was planning to tell them before I started T. Thought it would be worse if they heard it from anyone else. But I really don't think there's ever going to be a good time to say this.
Hope it goes well for you.
Quote from: Daydreamer on September 28, 2014, 09:59:26 PM
Thanks for this thread. I still don't think my mom has a clue what I'm in therapy for or why I'm up her ass about calling my doctor anymore.
My dad is the one who has to take me to therapy, Cuz my mom just don't get it at all, Its so damn fustrating on everything.
Quote from: And_go on September 28, 2014, 10:19:50 PM
Think this is going to be the hardest part of transitioning for me. I know that nobody will be able to change my mind but there's no way my mum's going to take it well.
I was planning to tell them before I started T. Thought it would be worse if they heard it from anyone else. But I really don't think there's ever going to be a good time to say this.
Hope it goes well for you.
It depends on how quickly changes start like if the hair on my face starts getting thicker and my voice drops quickly its time to tell her even though she will be in a diff state.
I started before telling my mom. I took myself to all my endo appointments without telling her. I did after a few shots. For me, I noticed voice changes around the 2 month mark and facial hair came in around month 1. Although, all this varies by person.
Quote from: Darrin Scott on September 29, 2014, 09:20:47 AM
I started before telling my mom. I took myself to all my endo appointments without telling her. I did after a few shots. For me, I noticed voice changes around the 2 month mark and facial hair came in around month 1. Although, all this varies by person.
I know it varies, so how did your mom react?
Quote from: Brandon on September 29, 2014, 03:25:27 PM
I know it varies, so how did your mom react?
My mom wasn't happy about my transition, but felt it was my decision. I was 26 when I came out, though.