My best friend and i own a hole in the wall gun store togethor. We opened not to long ago and business is booming. My friend knows about the whole trans thing and his only rule is not to flirt with him. I can understand this. Our store gets way more business than any that i have ever seen in our area. In fact we are going to expand the size of our building and hire a few more employees.
I have not started HRT yet but am hopeing my therapist lets me after this next session. I originally started wearing womens underwear to work and slowly added things like socks and then some jewelry. But i really wanted to take a step so i had our guy that makes holsters make me a pink carbon fiber holster for my pistol. All employees at our store have a firearm on there hip. So i started wearing my gun with this holster and a maching mag pouch. Basically i look like a big gorilla with a pink holster. I even put custom pink grips on the gun.
Well the issue is that we have had multiple occurences were a guest would ask if i was a ->-bleeped-<- or would just rudely call me gay. And even one that said he wouldnt accept service from a gay guy. Even though i am part owner i do not kick these people out. Although my friend will kick them out in a heartbeat.
I was wondering if you all would have any advise on how to handle this situation. For a few of the rude ones asking if im gay i normally start saying yes instead of trying to explain it to people that do not wish to hear.
Alice.. love that name.. my mom's name was Alice Ann..
Ok so... my advise.. and thankfully I can start giving it.. all i did for the last 10 months was ask for it.
Since you have to deal with the public especially a gun store might tone it down a little and just get started on HRT and let it start doing its work.. that will help you relax a bit.
Therapy.. the key in my opinion.. talk to them.. you have to make a living but also you will be changing.. more than you think on HRT.
My son set me down and told me I did not realize just how much I had changed...
Hard to give advise since I am not in your shoes.. but hope you enjoy the journey...
Carrie
I think I might challenges them to think. Prompts like "what would be wrong with that", "or does wearing pink make someone gay?" Most bigotted folks won't want to engage in an intellectual level and will back off.
They are baiting you for several possible reasons:
1. They are truly homophobic. Good luck with those.
2. They are confronting you to start a scene and hoping you drop a discount on their purchase.
Either way, it's not appropriate behaviour, but how you deal with it is key.
1. Deflect, and say that you are demonstrating how well things acan be customised etc. they are there to purchase, sell to them and make it a non issue.
2. Make it a LGBT confrontation - but is it good for business?
3. Switch to something less confronting colour wise that still allows you to express yourself.
Nothing wrong with any of the options, it's a matter of what is best for you, and your business.
Anyone who would ask someone with a loaded pistol on their hip if they were a ->-bleeped-<- is obviously nuts.
Shooting them would be bad for business. I think you have to give up the pink holster.
Quote from: Alice Bracken on October 07, 2014, 03:23:11 PM
Well the issue is that we have had multiple occurences were a guest would ask if i was a ->-bleeped-<- or would just rudely call me gay. And even one that said he wouldnt accept service from a gay guy. Even though i am part owner i do not kick these people out. Although my friend will kick them out in a heartbeat.
Quote from: Randi on October 07, 2014, 10:40:54 PM
Anyone who would ask someone with a loaded pistol on their hip if they were a ->-bleeped-<- is obviously nuts.
Shooting them would be bad for business. I think you have to give up the pink holster.
I have to admit that pointing this out would be my first thought, but, given that it's assault with a deadly weapon it's probably not the smart choice.
Quote from: Randi on October 07, 2014, 10:40:54 PM
Anyone who would ask someone with a loaded pistol on their hip if they were a ->-bleeped-<- is obviously nuts.
Shooting them would be bad for business. I think you have to give up the pink holster.
That's gold Randi! But agree, business relies on the customers, and bullets flying around may scare them off, worse yet might kill one of em, eeekk !
Scenario 1 - Alice Continues to wear the pink holster to work
Alice -> :icon_userfriendly: :icon_suspicious: <- customer
Can you have another holster and mag case made in a different color / s ??
Maybe a pink camo ? How about a purple shade ?
That maybe one of the options to explore further to help off - set some of the hostilitys.
Just my 2cent s worth of opinion.
Jamie
It was a pink and carbon fiber so basically black and pink. And no way am I not wearing it. We had a group of women come in today looking to buy guns. When one pointed out my holster i could see it coming. But surprisingly no jokes. But instead ended up selling a total of 5 holsters to 3 ladies. AWSOME! And one said she was going to bring her daughter by to get one as well.
This is amazing. I guess dealing with peoples Crap and blowing it off pays out.
When asked about it I would just use the line that I am just showing off a different style that some of my female customers may want. I might add that it does helps the customised holsters sell.
Gun stores... typical "alpha male" place unfortunately. Being yourself as an employee will elicit a response and that's unfortunate.
Here in NJ we are a bit more progressive (but we are AWFUL for gun rights) but some gun stores still have the typical alpha hotels behind and in front of the counter. I don't think I've ever encountered worse customer service than at some gun stores. Especially if you're not a good ole boy straight out of duck dynasty. The good news is that there are nicer more upscale gun stores and ranges that cater to a diverse clientele. For example a friend of mine runs a range and he says everyone walks in, from hasidic Jews to lesbians openly PDAing each other. He welcomes all of them, he doesn't care as long as they spend money and enjoy shooting. The last place I bought a handgun from, the person who sold it to me was an intelligent woman who served in the marine corps and who is also an instructor.
Women are increasingly taking up shooting and even LGBT are doing so. Did you know the plaintiff, Tom Palmer, in the CCW case in Washington DC is gay? He bought a gun to defend himself as he was previously attacked because he is gay. So there is hope. Hold your head up, as you said, people are buying... but you will need a thick skin to deal with the idiots.
You might also want to look into joining pink pistols. They are bascally an LGBT gun rights organization.
A thought just occurred to me.
Why not get one of those pink breast cancer ribbons and say it's for breast cancer awareness? I see a lot of guys wearing pink this month... might buy you a month or so.
Quote from: Jamie2.0 on October 08, 2014, 10:03:33 AM
Can you have another holster and mag case made in a different color / s ??
Maybe a pink camo ? How about a purple shade ?
That maybe one of the options to explore further to help off - set some of the hostilitys.
Just my 2cent s worth of opinion.
Jamie
I like this idea, I'm sure the pink holster currently doesn't go with Green army camo. So why not jazz it up a bit with pink and purple army camo. In fact if you drape around the shop some pink army camo netting, you won't stand out as much. You'll kind of be normalising the colour pink with all the macho bigots. This could be a really interesting psychological experiment.
Quote from: BreezyB on October 08, 2014, 07:31:09 PM
I like this idea, I'm sure the pink holster currently doesn't go with Green army camo. So why not jazz it up a bit with pink and purple army camo. In fact if you drape around the shop some pink army camo netting, you won't stand out as much. You'll kind of be normalising the colour pink with all the macho bigots. This could be a really interesting psychological experiment.
I MUST DO THIS!!!!! Ebay time!
Quote from: BreezyB on October 08, 2014, 08:46:21 AM
That's gold Randi! But agree, business relies on the customers, and bullets flying around may scare them off, worse yet might kill one of em, eeekk !
Scenario 1 - Alice Continues to wear the pink holster to work
Alice -> :icon_userfriendly: :icon_suspicious: <- customer
Bree that's why some of us go shopping to watch the staff interact with the customers. Come to my location and just watch me behind the counter.
Alice you mentioned a group of women came in saw your holster, pointed to it bought your merchandise and maybe be a repeat customer. Why stop there, why not become a walking advertisement for customized holsters. All in the feminine style in your case of course
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 08, 2014, 08:53:07 PM
Bree that's why some of us go shopping to watch the staff interact with the customers. Come to my location and just watch me behind the counter.
Alice you mentioned a group of women came in saw your holster, pointed to it bought your merchandise and maybe be a repeat customer. Why stop there, why not become a walking advertisement for customized holsters. All in the feminine style in your case of course
I could probably do this. I could get a few different holsters for multiple guns. Concealable and not and swap out.
Haha. I actual help run a shot show on YouTube with a friend of mine. I would bet if you said, "I'm sorry, but when did pink become gay?" They would stop pretty quick. I've noticed when I open carry, I don't hear any snickers about how I look...
Quote from: Ali girl on October 08, 2014, 09:00:16 PM
Haha. I actual help run a shot show on YouTube with a friend of mine. I would bet if you said, "I'm sorry, but when did pink become gay?" They would stop pretty quick. I've noticed when I open carry, I don't hear any snickers about how I look...
Well my normal open carry rig was alot different. I had a 1911 in a western style gunslinger belt designed for the 1911. Now i pretty much have fallen in love with this one.
1911=beauty. My dad has an original 1918 year military. I carry a stainless SR9c in the winter and use my classic PA-63 9x18 for female outings and summer weather. I also have a nice derringer for inside the thigh underskirt.
My choice of carry is Para black ops threaded. Its a double stack. And i fear that when i get a bit into transitioning that it may not be as easy to operate it.
Yea. That was my fear also. Hence why I stick around a 9mm.
Back on topic, do what you need to be happy! I used to get antsy wearing purple or pink shirts to work... Now I'll rock pink shirts and polish to match. Here in Western PA, its farm country and yet very few people have said anything about me to my face, or behind my back. Maybe it is the way I am about it, but yea. Many people have surprised me.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 08, 2014, 08:53:07 PM
Bree that's why some of us go shopping to watch the staff interact with the customers. Come to my location and just watch me behind the counter.
Alice you mentioned a group of women came in saw your holster, pointed to it bought your merchandise and maybe be a repeat customer. Why stop there, why not become a walking advertisement for customized holsters. All in the feminine style in your case of course
I'll definetly have to see that one day, I bet it's a hoot :D
I wouldn't change a thing. In fact, I might have to talk to you about a pretty pink holster for my 1911!
Ally :icon_flower:
God damn Americans are crazy. New Zealand (were I'm from) has one of the highest, if not the highest, gun ownership rates in the world... but nobody walks around town with them.. they go hunting in the bush with them in the weekend and then put them away. To own a gun involves psychological checks, a policeman coming to your house to talk with you and check that you lockable storage cabinet is up to current specs... ( I know because I have a lot of guy friends who are into hunting). The idea of everyone 'packing' seems ludicrous to people here, even the cops don't carry... I hitch hiked over 10 000 miles around the USA about 10 years ago, and I had to deal with homeless crazies, 'gangstas' and several times when I was almost raped and once when I was.. (I was drugged, so a firearm would have been absolutely useless) So I know how bad things can be there..
So just some perspective from the other side of the pacific... pink holsters are definitely a non issue here lol.
Quote from: lemon_ice on October 09, 2014, 02:38:54 PM
God damn Americans are crazy. New Zealand (were I'm from) has one of the highest, if not the highest, gun ownership rates in the world... but nobody walks around town with them.. they go hunting in the bush with them in the weekend and then put them away. To own a gun involves psychological checks, a policeman coming to your house to talk with you and check that you lockable storage cabinet is up to current specs... ( I know because I have a lot of guy friends who are into hunting). The idea of everyone 'packing' seems ludicrous to people here, even the cops don't carry... I hitch hiked over 10 000 miles around the USA about 10 years ago, and I had to deal with homeless crazies, 'gangstas' and several times when I was almost raped and once when I was.. (I was drugged, so a firearm would have been absolutely useless) So I know how bad things can be there..
So just some perspective from the other side of the pacific... pink holsters are definitely a non issue here lol.
I normally open carry in my store because if someone tries to rob me i can make it hard on them. In the USA alot of people here can get guns without anyone knowing. I would prefer to conceal but am not 21. Therefor pink holster rules. Now i have no worries of being harassed to bad because i look basically like a gorilla with a gun. But once i start getting far into transition I'll just hang out with more friends when out the house.
Quote from: lemon_ice on October 09, 2014, 02:38:54 PM
God damn Americans are crazy. New Zealand (were I'm from) has one of the highest, if not the highest, gun ownership rates in the world... but nobody walks around town with them.. they go hunting in the bush with them in the weekend and then put them away. To own a gun involves psychological checks, a policeman coming to your house to talk with you and check that you lockable storage cabinet is up to current specs... ( I know because I have a lot of guy friends who are into hunting). The idea of everyone 'packing' seems ludicrous to people here, even the cops don't carry... I hitch hiked over 10 000 miles around the USA about 10 years ago, and I had to deal with homeless crazies, 'gangstas' and several times when I was almost raped and once when I was.. (I was drugged, so a firearm would have been absolutely useless) So I know how bad things can be there..
So just some perspective from the other side of the pacific... pink holsters are definitely a non issue here lol.
Yes, it seems strange but the only people I have ever feared are those who illegally acquire firearms. I have a rather large collection, but most are locked away as collectors. The reason I carry is simple, to many people in the community either injured or killed by others here. I failed to become a statistic of suicide, so I will not be made a statistic by another hand...
And I hope that day never happens.
Just an aside. Until about the 2nd world war pink was the male colour and blue female.
Quote from: Cindy on October 09, 2014, 09:30:05 PM
Just an aside. Until about the 2nd world war pink was the male colour and blue female.
Thats amazing. Werent high heels and makeup originally mens things as well, showing wealth?
Okay so I'm just starting my FTM journey, but I've been living as gender queer for some time. In fact, I have always worn boyish clothes and have had a short haircut since I was in my early twenties and away from my parents. I get called a dyke on a fairly regular basis, or asked if I'm a lesbian, or butch, etc, etc. Depending on the tone of the person, it either gets under my skin or it doesn't. Customers on two occasions have refused to take drinks made by me and demanded another employee make them...
My advice would be NOT to back down as far as showing your "true colors". Wear pink. Simply deflect their aggression when it comes up. They demand another employee? Go get someone else and take a smoke or coffee break to cool down and separate yourself from the situation so you can't witness their further ignorance. They want to know if you're gay? Make up a story you feel comfortable in telling and memorize it. (Think Reservoir Dogs) Stick to that story if you don't want to tell them the truth. Don't let anybody rob you of your coming out. Don't let anybody rob you of being yourself. Lastly, DON'T let them make you do anything you'll regret later. I came really close to a fist fight a few years back and I'm really glad I took a moment to calm myself down and walk away. Otherwise I could have gotten hurt, or had assault charges pressed against me. Neither is worth it. Come here and vent instead.
Good luck!
P.S. I need a holster made for my FNS 9. I didn't know you could get them made in colors, do they make them in camo? :)
-Bear
Quote from: LittleBoyBear on October 10, 2014, 01:35:18 PM
Okay so I'm just starting my FTM journey, but I've been living as gender queer for some time. In fact, I have always worn boyish clothes and have had a short haircut since I was in my early twenties and away from my parents. I get called a dyke on a fairly regular basis, or asked if I'm a lesbian, or butch, etc, etc. Depending on the tone of the person, it either gets under my skin or it doesn't. Customers on two occasions have refused to take drinks made by me and demanded another employee make them...
My advice would be NOT to back down as far as showing your "true colors". Wear pink. Simply deflect their aggression when it comes up. They demand another employee? Go get someone else and take a smoke or coffee break to cool down and separate yourself from the situation so you can't witness their further ignorance. They want to know if you're gay? Make up a story you feel comfortable in telling and memorize it. (Think Reservoir Dogs) Stick to that story if you don't want to tell them the truth. Don't let anybody rob you of your coming out. Don't let anybody rob you of being yourself. Lastly, DON'T let them make you do anything you'll regret later. I came really close to a fist fight a few years back and I'm really glad I took a moment to calm myself down and walk away. Otherwise I could have gotten hurt, or had assault charges pressed against me. Neither is worth it. Come here and vent instead.
Good luck!
P.S. I need a holster made for my FNS 9. I didn't know you could get them made in colors, do they make them in camo? :)
-Bear
Thanks for the awsome advice. You can make kydex in pretty much any color or design. If you ever want to know if they have the color google "color" kydex sheet. But yes they have loads of camos.
About the moment to cool down. My version is kind of different. I wait until closing time or before opening and go to our range in back of store and blow a box for fun. By the end of the box its like nothing happened.
Quote from: Cindy on October 09, 2014, 09:30:05 PM
Just an aside. Until about the 2nd world war pink was the male colour and blue female.
When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink?
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/?all
Personally I would hide at work and take the money from the store rather than take the risk of losing business, but that's probably me being overly cautious. There's something to be said for having money...
It might also work the other way, especially since you're posting all this here. There cant be too many transgender gun shop owners around, and its an interesting story. You might be able get in the news and increase the business though all the exposure. I have to say though, the whole thing would make me very nervous.
Quote from: LittleBoyBear on October 10, 2014, 01:35:18 PM
Okay so I'm just starting my FTM journey, but I've been living as gender queer for some time. In fact, I have always worn boyish clothes and have had a short haircut since I was in my early twenties and away from my parents. I get called a dyke on a fairly regular basis, or asked if I'm a lesbian, or butch, etc, etc. Depending on the tone of the person, it either gets under my skin or it doesn't. Customers on two occasions have refused to take drinks made by me and demanded another employee make them...
My advice would be NOT to back down as far as showing your "true colors". Wear pink. Simply deflect their aggression when it comes up. They demand another employee? Go get someone else and take a smoke or coffee break to cool down and separate yourself from the situation so you can't witness their further ignorance. They want to know if you're gay? Make up a story you feel comfortable in telling and memorize it. (Think Reservoir Dogs) Stick to that story if you don't want to tell them the truth. Don't let anybody rob you of your coming out. Don't let anybody rob you of being yourself. Lastly, DON'T let them make you do anything you'll regret later. I came really close to a fist fight a few years back and I'm really glad I took a moment to calm myself down and walk away. Otherwise I could have gotten hurt, or had assault charges pressed against me. Neither is worth it. Come here and vent instead.
Good luck!
P.S. I need a holster made for my FNS 9. I didn't know you could get them made in colors, do they make them in camo? :)
-Bear
I like your style!
Quote from: Alice Bracken on October 10, 2014, 01:57:48 PM
Thanks for the awsome advice. You can make kydex in pretty much any color or design. If you ever want to know if they have the color google "color" kydex sheet. But yes they have loads of camos.
About the moment to cool down. My version is kind of different. I wait until closing time or before opening and go to our range in back of store and blow a box for fun. By the end of the box its like nothing happened.
Shooting off a few magazines in my AK works for me. ;)
I would be interested in a price for a purple holster for my PA-63...
I have a mean streak so I would probably tell them that it belonged to my mother who died of breast cancer and then ask them if they have a problem with it. (no offense to anyone who has lost a loved one).