I've been having trouble ever since I realized I was different with seeing my future as a woman. How do you keep perspective? What can I do to remain true to myself?
Hello Kayla! : ) First things to do is keep a positive attitude. I was full time for over a year and a half before I started Hrt and keeping a positive mind set really helped pull me through those times. I would wake up in the morning and tell my self."I'm a beautiful woman." Ever before I went full time I used up lifting words to help my soul.
Another key important thing to do is keep making progress. Even if it's baby steps! Do things that make you feel good! Ex. Paint your nails, buy new clothes etc.
Remember to stay safe!
With much love,
Ademie
I don't think it means all that much to be honest, Kayla. I have been asked this question a few times myself by therapists and all I can say is, I don't know. Then it goes on to, well in 5 years, do you see yourself as a man or a woman, and again I reply, I don't know. In all honesty, who can really see the future, lol? People who say they can see the future are labeled as psychos or locked up...
For me personally, it is not just what gender do I see myself as in the future that puzzles me, it's more, where do you see yourself in the future period that I cannot answer. Perhaps I just don't have any imagination? An example of this for me would be like what would happen to me after high school? I clearly remember thinking about this question during high school and my answer at the time wasn't I don't know, or I see such and such, this and this, etc, it was, there was no future after high school for me. It wasn't because I was suicidal at the time, because I wasn't, or even, I have no way of knowing because all I had known up till the point was school, or that I would flunk out, because wasn't close to that at all either; it was basically I knew I would die before I graduated, somehow someway. I mean, I just knew it, believed it, and have no clue as to why that was. But ya, I could never of imagined graduating and life after high school. Perhaps you are like me in some way, like by having no clue as to what the future holds for you and just being unable to even imagine about it? Perhaps just worry about now, and maybe the short term future may help you?
(By the way, I did graduate high school)
Thanks ademie! My parents aren`t supportive so expression is pretty limited :-\
I am all about planning and making moves slowly, anticipating the future, etc but there are things that won't really be clear until you live it. I know that sounds strange, but say you are going to a new restaurant, you aren't really going to know what your favorite dish there is until you try the food. But when you do like something you don't question that you like it, when you don't like something be honest with yourself that you don't.
That in essence is all it really takes to be true to yourself, just keep an open mind, March forward, and change things as they come up.
Hiya
Interesting question. Some people have a strong desire to envisage their future, and others absolutely don't care about it.
I'm a proponent of creating a mental picture of my desired future. I fully accept that I'm goal-driven, and that this isn't everyone's way of living, but it works for me, so I continue to do it. It's not a mantra or an "-ism", just a way to put some aspirations into the back of my mind, and the rest of me gradually works in that direction.
At the same time, being goal-driven does imply planning and execution. I get the impression that too many transgender people are actors in the film of their life rather than being actors and directors of their film. It's a question of control and who has it. If you're in control you have the capability to see your future because you will make it so.
The issue of perspective is important, but I will echo others and say it's a question of being positive, and feeling comfortable with yourself. We all lose it from time to time, and think we're stuck, or going backward, or too fat, or too hairy or whatever. But as long as those are sporadic occasional thoughts you're just being.... a woman! So relax.
I am a proponent, like Julia, of making a mental picture of yourself as you want to be.... follow the image with a list of the steps necessary to achieve that dream... sort out the steps you can take now, and persistently pursue them... never give up...
For our young folks my foremost advice is to secure your finical situation by acquiring and education, a profession, a trade.... with money at hand the dreams can more easily achieved...e
Courage... release your inner girl !
I know the feelings of not seeing the future. I also know the pangs of not having full parental support. This can really place a damper on the aspirations of life but it is possible to overcome! I came out to my sister and parents about 3 years ago. No one supported me and my wife wanted to run for the hills. Now as I type this to you I am still married, my sister is 100% supportive! and my parents have been slowly on the mend. They have come to the understanding that I have to do something... They still don't want to talk about it, but it has become more of a non issue on they want to learn on their own. Be positive and as stated, plan your moves. Patience can go a long way to acceptance and this patience is also how I can be open at work in a home improvement store.
Hugs! :)
The difference with me not having parental support is that I live in their house so basically anything I do I can get in trouble for :-\
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on October 08, 2014, 05:31:12 PM
Hiya
Interesting question. Some people have a strong desire to envisage their future, and others absolutely don't care about it.
I'm a proponent of creating a mental picture of my desired future. I fully accept that I'm goal-driven, and that this isn't everyone's way of living, but it works for me, so I continue to do it. It's not a mantra or an "-ism", just a way to put some aspirations into the back of my mind, and the rest of me gradually works in that direction.
But as long as those are sporadic occasional thoughts you're just being.... a woman! So relax.
This was encouraging
Thanks to all of the wonderful ladies who have replied so far! You've all given me great advice