What's your favorite two liner? Mine is.... Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
What do you call a blind deer?
No eye deer!
What did cannibals eat before the discovery of fire?
Raw-men
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fish.
Do I have to pick just one.....
Two men walked into a bar
The other guy ducked
What do you get if you cross a cow and an octopus?
I strong rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding.
Dr. Frankenstein entered a body building competition and realized that he gravely mistook the objective.
A horse walks into a German bar and asks for a drink.
The bar tender turns around, sees the horse and shouts "MEIN GOT! A talking horse!"
How many transsexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to sit in the dark for a long time before they realize it needed changed.
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender asks why the long face
A horse walks into a bar.
Someone forgot to adjust the blinders.
Why do Bees hum?
Because they don't know the words
(told you all I couldn't pick just one)
Wanna hear a knock-knock joke?
You start.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
So I walk into my Therapist and say...."sometimes I feel like a wigwam and sometimes I feel like a teepee..."
And she says.... "don't worry about it sweety, you're two tense (tents)!"
and...
Whats green, and jumps from bed to bed?
A Prosti-toad!
What's the definition of a drawing pin?
An excited smartie
(US version / an excited M&M)
What do you call a deer with no eyes
No eyed dear
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no eyed deer
What do you call a red deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no bloody eyed deer
(Eyed deer = idea)
Mary had a little lamb
She stuck it on a pylon
Ten thousand volts went up its bum
And turned its wall to nylon
Mary had a letter bomb
It blew up mortar fashion
The note quite clearly read
Lambs against repression
Quote from: Jill F on October 09, 2014, 10:12:17 PM
How many transsexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to sit in the dark for a long time before they realize it needed changed.
How many transsexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change it and one to take a picture.