I'm trying to grow my hair out. My dream is to have it long enough so that I can pull it back, at least into some kind of short ponytail.
The problem is, it's in that awkward phase where it's just a total mess. Maybe three, four inches long, some parts are longer than others. It's not the easiest hair to control, rather curly, wiry, and doesn't lay flat. It's neither masculine or feminine at the moment, just ugly, and I can't leave the house without a hat on my head because it looks so dumb. (Luckily, I work somewhere I can wear a hat, but still, it'd be nice to go out without one on for some occasions.)
Should I stick it out? Or should I give up and just get it cut in a neutral style for right now.
I'd be happy with something that is shorter but still feminine, but I'm also so afraid to cut it because I've grown it for so long and, er, I'm kinda attached to it.
Transitionwise, I'm still fairly early on. HRT for about five months so there's little in the way of facial changes so far. My hair was also receding a little, and while the HRT and my fastidious use of minoxidil and finasteride has somewhat fixed it, I still need some form of transplantation in the future. So the hair is a work in progress, not a final version, and I'm still very passable as male.
Thoughts? Suggestions for a shorter haircut that can go girly or masculine depending on how I feel?
Don't give up. If a ponytail is a goal of yours go for it. I myself had problems with the in between lengths. Hell now that my hair is long there's days I want it short mainly because I work outside and in the heat....ugh. But there's a lot of options with the long hair.
I've been thinking about hacking it all off to a pixie cut again cause I'm tired of the guys
I think you will likely regret it if you don't stick it out, even if you do decide to cut it after it has grown past that in the way stage. I vote leave it.
Let it grow. Hair like that is pretty useless to try and do anything with and won't do anything you want it too. I know, mine is like that. But once it got long enough everything sort of falls into place, unruly place but the curls are curls instead of sticking out all over. I stuck it out and I kind of sux because it takes twice as long to gain length with curly hair. Even if you trim it, which I would but very little, it is still gonna' be awkward. It will only last a few months and then it should get enough length to have a little weight to it.
Thanks for the "stick it out" advice. I was just about to get it snipped off this afternoon, and remembering how miserable I was the last time it was cut and the haircutter cut too much off, I'm sure I'd have regretted it afterwards.
Steady as she goes. Good advice for everything related to transition.
i know how you feel i was in the same boat a few years back, i had a really good length, but it was growing in very messy and hadn't been cleaned up for about a year.
Then i went to the salon and they took WAY too much off. My dilemma is i need to be somewhat presentable at work in terms of hygiene and appearance. So trying to figure that out is tricky if you work in a professional setting. I think i will try and get by with just using hair products. my hair is also very wild and frizzy, so sometimes just a bit of leave in conditioner or gel can help if you feel like you look silly.
It's worth it. Long hair is the single most feminizing thing that you can possibly have.
Maybe get a trim/style to even out some of the length incongruencies, but definitely just let it grow. It will be worth it in the end, as it's MUCH easier to see a girl in the mirror when you have long hair.
And it takes so damned long to grow, trust me, you'd probably regret getting it cut short again.
Mhmmm if it is so messy and can do nothing with it, trim it. Get a haircut you like and know you will be unhappy it is shorter though. Then grown it out till it is too long for that haircut. Wait a month or so then, then get a new hairstyle.
I didn't do this because I rather bad weird hair than it taking forever. I did although trim it every half a year or so and get a somewwhat new haircut. Getting there should be fun too so make it fun. You don't want to keep on hiding hair till it is long enough right o.o?
Ah that was such an awkward stage. It lasted about 8 months for. Tricks I used where bobby pins and these,
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.glitz4girlz.com%2Fuser%2Fproducts%2Flarge%2Fban356.jpg&hash=f95a8e36a190ad2f4b30428f4469f4fbdc9a2b0d)
Alice Bands
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.allure.com%2Fbeauty-trends%2Fblogs%2Fdaily-beauty-reporter%2Foscar-headbands.jpg&hash=565da7c6ee53c731ba5d8b8cc7d5412800dd0e1f)
and Headbands
I was even able to use them even when presenting male. (A little daring, but I never had an issue.)
About 4 years ago I cut my hair short for a job interview, I cried for days afterwards, doin't do it unless you HAVE to or really WANT to.
Gel and hairspray are your friends!
Thanks again - I think it's probably time to buy the hairspray, hair bands, bobby pins etc. I guess the good old guy days are gone where I could get up, stand under the shower for thirty seconds, scrub my short hair dry with a towel and not worry about styling it for the rest of the day.
Yes, step away from the scissors!!! Hair extensions can help while you are growing it out. I think almost every actress in Hollywood has used them from time to time.
I have extensions and they work wonders. I got mine for $60Australian at a hair dressers that was closing down. They match my hair very well and are resilient insofar as I can wear them all day and they hold up to almost anything. At the end of the day they can be brushed with a soft brush and they are easily stored for the next time.
I sadly cut my hair off in a rage fit as I was trying to hide my dysphoria worst idea ever. It was past my nose and I got a number 3 all over. Now it is above my eyebrows (2 months of growth) so I recommend waiting and just combing it back as best you can as the outcome of cutting it is horrible to say the least.
What you're experiencing is just the normal thing that happens when you have short hair for a long time and then grow it longer. When short, hair is lighter and tends to grow out straighter from the scalp. When you grow it longer, it sticks out like that. After a few months to a year of growth it will gradually train itself to grow at more of downward angle and lie more flat.
There are lots of tricks for managing hair during a grow out. I'm big on headbands, barrettes and other gadgets. I've also had success with smoothing it down and back with styling products. Use your creativity and pick a method that works for you. Trust me that once you get past the awkward stage you'll have great looking long hair and never worry about this sort of thing again.
It gets messy as you grow it out as not all the hair grows at the same rate.
You can get it trimmed and tidied up as it grows, but it will make the whole process of growing it out a lot longer, but it will be neater. Otherwise, leave it be and deal with it when it gets closer to the length you want. The medium length is awkward to manage as it is hard to style, and yet isn't long enough to tie up/bunch easily.
Remember it's only for another two months before it gets easier...
Been growing mine out for about 3-4 years now and its super curly like just a just a level down from African women's hair. It feels like its taken forever but its finally past my boobs, definitely stick with it. Curls are tougher to manage the longer it gets so its imperative you find a hair care regimen that works for you to ensure a maximum growth rate. I highly recommend figuring out your hair type and reading about it as much as you can.
http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types
Mine is naturally very curly but I just get it chemically straightened these days.
The awkward phase never really ended with my hair, it just generally sucks.
My natural hair is snow white and very thin on top. I would love not to have to wear wigs, but I am stuck with them for the foreseeable future. I don't want any of that snow white hair popping out, so I am keeping it short for now. Some CIS woman on chemo have to do that as well. But I am thinking about adding to wigs in the near future.
My last haircut was in January of 2013 and was cut fairly short.Next haircut is a long time in the future. My avatar gives an idea of the length about 3 months ago and that is my natural color its not dyed I was lucky and received good hair genes. An Alice band is very helpful in keeping it back when need be ,always wear one around my neck that blends in with my hair so you don't even notice it. It beats fumbling through my bag and finding the one in there broken when you need it and for some reason its always in the bottom.. :)
Ma'm, put down those scissors slowly and nobody will get hurt! [emoji12]
Stick it out. I'm trying to grow mine into a male style where it's longer on top and short on the sides and it's a nightmare. Been very close to chopping it off but fortunately, my hair dresser talked me out of it.
We can do it!
Don't cut them you will regret it. It takes years to grow out. It's just a lot of work. I don't know where u live but it's october the heat will eventually end lol.
I'm growing mine out at the moment and yes, it's in a bit of an awkward stage, but I looked for some short femme styles and just style it that way. It's a must to have a good hair care regime.
- Dont wet it everyday
- Wash it twice a week
- Use good shampoo and conditioner, I use morrocan oil
- Blowdry it
- If it's curly, straighten using a straightening iron. GHD mini is great for short hair
If I don't do this, my hair is a nightmare to tame. But I fnd it quite manageable during these difficult months. Takes a bit of effort but well worth it. I have wavy hair and I can get it perfectly straight without any product and stays straight all day.
Good luck, I know it's hard but I wouldn't cut it, I think you might regret it.
Also for curly hair, check out http://www.naturallycurly.com (http://www.naturallycurly.com)
Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 15, 2014, 09:35:43 AM
Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.
Most definitely. If it is curly the humidity will mess with it really bad. Mine looks pretty good when I let it do what it wants to do. If I blowdry it or straighten it with an iron, it just gets way to dry. Besides talk about work. And if one drop of rain hits it or it turns real humid, then you will have a mixed matched mess. Curly hair looks and feels a lot better when you let it dry naturally. Use antifrizz products, a little gel and then when that dries smooth it out and soften it up with you hands. It's actually less work than straight hair. You don't have to brush it even on windy days, just fix it roughly with your fingers.
Quote from: LordKAT on October 15, 2014, 09:35:43 AM
Blow drying and the iron is very bad for hair.
Better than chemical straightening at least. Unless there's another straightening technique I'm missing. I use a morrocan oil creme that helps to protect the hair from heat damage and my hair is healthy as.
Yep as long as you use a heat protector for your hair and don't flat iron everyday, your hair will be fine.
Quote from: Brenda E on October 14, 2014, 11:09:46 AM
Thanks for the "stick it out" advice. I was just about to get it snipped off this afternoon, and remembering how miserable I was the last time it was cut and the haircutter cut too much off, I'm sure I'd have regretted it afterwards.
Steady as she goes. Good advice for everything related to transition.
WHEW! Girl you scared me earlier. I thought this may require an intervention. Glad you kept it! :)
Hi Brenda.
The last time my hair was short was in 1991 before my accident. I hated it short too believe me. I have a small face and head and I look ridiculously unproportioned without my hair, lol. However since then I have had it cut sometimes to shoulder length. This is my hair's first awkward stage. It has several in between there and where it is now as is reflected in my Avatar. Even as long as it is now, it gets in my mouth, get's caught in my armpits, bra straps, and sometimes even my booby cleavage, lol!
Almost every time I sit down to eat I gotta pull a strand or two out of my mouth. When changing it get's caught in my bra, and booby's, bra band strap in the back, etc., etc., etc. You'd think with all this trouble I'd get it cut. But even with all of the difficulty, I wouldn't trade one inch of it, and plan to let it grow longer. You'll get used to the difficulties believe me. And once you find the correct hair care products for your hair type you'll have less trouble styling it too.
To be truthful, every time my hair gets caught in my bra, my boobys, and even when it gets in my mouth I get a wonderful warm feeling of femininity that is hard to put into words. It's so long now I gotta braid it when I take my boat out to avoid tangles. When I take the braid out I get that slight tight killer wave look for about 12 hours. There's a lot you can do with longer hair. And just having it long is a boost to our femininity.
So as others have said; put those scissors down hun, don't wash it every day, only about 2 or 3 times a week, and experiment with hair care products until you find those that work best for you, or ask a stylist which would be best for your hair type, and let her grow hun. You won't regret it! :eusa_dance:
(tip: a good leave in conditioner works wonders for even the most difficult hair types. I recommend Aussie's Hair Insurance leave in conditioner.).
Ally :icon_flower:
I cut my hair back in April in a meltdown when I decided to be a dude.. three days later back on Estrogen......have not cut since.. I am in that awkward time too..
My hair is actually in front over my eyes now.. and way over my ears.. I just dry it straight.. I have curly hair too... then pull over my ears...which makes me look fem for some reason.
I know you dont plan on cutting it.. now.. maybe you could get it styled a bit..
I am going in next week for highlights but no length taken.. I have what would be called dark blond.. so I want light blond highlights.. my wife did it for me a couple months ago and it looks ok.. but I want it done by a professional this time..
Anyway.. glad u did not cut it.... I know what your are going through....
Carrie
I'm also in that awkward stage where its long enough to be a pain but not long enough to do anything with. When I went to my hairdresser for my very last boy haircut she refused to cut it (she knows i'm trans) and she fiddled with it and eventually settled on a "greaser" look with it slicked back that I sported until I came out. Now it's wig time until I get enough to go without a wig.
My advice - don't cut it, stick it out until it gets longer.
A hairband is a must have at this stage or your hair is always in your face.
Ok, so a follow-up question...
Job Interviews: How to Hide Out-of-Control Hair?
Any thoughts on this? A sensible trim to tidy up the scruffy bits? Leave it as is and hope for the best? Revert to a male style in order to give myself the best chance possible of employment?
Quote from: Brenda E on October 16, 2014, 08:28:00 AM
Ok, so a follow-up question...
Job Interviews: How to Hide Out-of-Control Hair?
Any thoughts on this? A sensible trim to tidy up the scruffy bits? Leave it as is and hope for the best? Revert to a male style in order to give myself the best chance possible of employment?
Personally I would get a hydrating treatment at a salon or just use a hydrating treatment at home. Some thing like the hydrating mask from Morrocan Oil is good for curly out of control hair. http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/intense-hydrating-mask (http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/intense-hydrating-mask)
I would put a styling creme through whilst wet then Blowdry whilst pulling the hair taught using a small radial brush. It's hard on short hair but if the radial brush is small enough it's possible. The creme will protect the hair and the heat will tame it a little. I would then use a straightening iron.
http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/hydrating-styling-cream (http://www.moroccanoil.com/australia/h_au_en/hydrating-styling-cream)
The result will be hair that is straight and able to be styled in a number of ways. Such as;
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/img/5519/Alicia/974m.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.zimbio.com/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles/articles/5/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles%2BAndrogyny%2BAgyness%2BDeyn&h=231&w=191&tbnid=pImqeMb7DzzGNM:&zoom=1&docid=zedtWCKLUxzQKM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CDAQMygTMBM (http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/img/5519/Alicia/974m.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.zimbio.com/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles/articles/5/New%2BShort%2BHairstyles%2BAndrogyny%2BAgyness%2BDeyn&h=231&w=191&tbnid=pImqeMb7DzzGNM:&zoom=1&docid=zedtWCKLUxzQKM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CDAQMygTMBM)
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/short-hairstyles-for-women.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/short-hairstyles-for-women/&h=675&w=500&tbnid=NheCQA3CmIkgHM:&zoom=1&docid=WjSxxIb_SJYkmM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCwQMygPMA8 (http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/short-hairstyles-for-women.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hairstylespopular.com/short-hairstyles-for-women/&h=675&w=500&tbnid=NheCQA3CmIkgHM:&zoom=1&docid=WjSxxIb_SJYkmM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCwQMygPMA8)
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://lh4.ggpht.com/_hI4LSw6_poU/S2XQKbyl3zI/AAAAAAAABuc/AOEFTzNB1fc/Short-Funky-Hairstyles%252520(1).jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fashioncraz.com/page/2/?s%3Dshort%2Bhair%2Bstyles&h=393&w=334&tbnid=mjnudzfr2IWaIM:&zoom=1&docid=E_xvMPaE9B1_VM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCYQMygJMAk (http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://lh4.ggpht.com/_hI4LSw6_poU/S2XQKbyl3zI/AAAAAAAABuc/AOEFTzNB1fc/Short-Funky-Hairstyles%252520(1).jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.fashioncraz.com/page/2/?s%3Dshort%2Bhair%2Bstyles&h=393&w=334&tbnid=mjnudzfr2IWaIM:&zoom=1&docid=E_xvMPaE9B1_VM&ei=SM0_VK_vIIa48gXewIGABg&tbm=isch&ved=0CCYQMygJMAk)
As someone pointed out before though, key to heat styling is make sure you protect the hair. Also look after it!
I do like those styles, BreezyB. That's about how long my hair is now, give or take. Except very curly. And graying. And a bit bald at the front. Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg. Except uglier too. And broke. And fatter.
Now I hate myself again. :(
Quote from: Brenda E on October 16, 2014, 12:47:01 PM
I do like those styles, BreezyB. That's about how long my hair is now, give or take. Except very curly. And graying. And a bit bald at the front. Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg. Except uglier too. And broke. And fatter.
Now I hate myself again. :(
Well Hollywood magic makes some people look better than the everyday janes and joes. Curly, do like the Beatles said and let it be. I have tried everything and love the sleek look but I can't pull it off. I even tried chemical. I have tried straight irons, I have tried blow drying it and none has worked. Curly looks the bets and healthiest for my hair type. Not to mention the compliments I get from cis women, and even question of how I get it like it is. When I tell them it is natural, it kind of blows their mind.
Not more than two hours ago I had a twenty minute conversation with a ciswoman about my hair. But the old saying that girls with straight hair want curly hair and the girls with curly hair want straight hair is true. I don't want straight hair. I love my curly hair. Not to mention the femininity it adds naturally. Don't try bangs unless you want to look straight from the eighties but just let it grow. To have bangs you will have to straighten them to make them look somewhat close to being right and the rest curly?
Go talk to your doctor about the front and possible thinning. There are also herbal treatments that will make hair healthy. Saw palmetto, cold area fish oils and such or anything that may boost keratin. This is not self medication but adding different herbs as dietary supplements is not a bad idea. Never take more than the label says especially if it is a condensed type of supplement. There is a reason why some of these herbs have been used by indigenous people throughout history. Willow bark is one of the biggest. I remember something not too long ago about feces being in some of the herbal supplements but the FDA allows a certain amount to, let's just say roach parts and mouse feces into chocolate coming from the Hershey's plant in Pa. :o
Don't hate yourself Brenda. Do you know how many women have alopecia? I don't really know but it is on youtube and quite a bit so women do have pattern baldness or alopecia, high foreheads (Virginia Madson for one and she is a beauty), the "M" hairline pattern and so on. So stop all the hating on yourself, talk to your GP and it does seem like bald women are a thing on youtube and they have to either wear wigs or if brave enough go around proudly as being bald. ??? Hair don't make the woman. The Psyche does.
Hey Brenda
If it's at a silly length, you've got a few options, but DON'T CUT IT....!!
For interviews, work and whatever in boy mode, gel it and brush it back. If there's enough for a tiny pony-tail, do that too. I'm not saying that it's a fantastic look, but it works.
This exact same approach also works well if you wear a wig. I was not going to wait 2 years to transition. I did it after just 4 months, so that pretty hair you currently see in my avatar is fake. It will do for the 2 years that mine needs to grow, and also will allow me to hide the hair transplant until there's enough to show. Gelling your hair back really makes wiggy life easier.
xxx
J
My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):
A) Go to a proper hair stylist. Someone who knows what they're doing. I.e. not one of the "cheap shops". With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for ;)
B) Tell them that you intend to grow it long, and even mention that you want to look more feminine (you don't have to tell them you're trans*, just tell them you prefer a more feminine look). If you can find a pic of the hair style you're ultimately aiming for, it will help explain :)
C) After explaining what your aim is, ask them to trim it. It will take a little off of course, but tell them to keep it as long as possible. The aim is to get rid of split ends etc while not setting yourself back too much. By explaining you goal in the previous step, thy will (if they're worth their salt as a stylist) give it some shape to help it grow out the way you want it.
D) Let it grow out more, and book another "tidy up" appointment with the same stylist (same place, preferably same person if you can) around about the time it starts noticeably fraying at the ends again.
Hope that helps babe :) Obviously doing this will take a little longer than if you just let it grow wild, but it will keep it looking reasonable as you go along :)
♥︎*Hugs*♥︎
The last time I cut my hair was December 2011, I earned the length it is now ;)
Just hang in there! the awkward stage is just that and sometimes unbearable, but it will get better...trust me.
Awkward!!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi244.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg4%2FKR3259%2Fodds%2520n%2520ends%2F91FDAF03-3D4B-494B-A613-B4846B7A3336-9013-00000D1D951C6DAD.jpg&hash=c430e57468d690ffa1ba0f55cdecb329c837e91f)
Much Better, taken last week,
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi244.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg4%2FKR3259%2Fodds%2520n%2520ends%2F514E16BA-0D52-455E-99D0-5556E7CE2E61_zpsund2qhgk.jpg&hash=56f13fefc8714bca93dbaa254566c6a8e14d149b)
Quote from: KiraD on October 16, 2014, 03:40:45 PM
My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):
A) Go to a proper hair stylist. Someone who knows what they're doing. I.e. not one of the "cheap shops". With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for ;)
[
If I can add one thing, and I will say I had a cis girl tell me this a log time ago. Find a gay guy that is a hairstylist. I should have listened to her. That is all I am going to say. It may be different now but I have never tempted fate again. My hair guy is gay and we go back and forth but he always does me really with my hair.
But yeah, stay away from the "Cheap cuts". They are learning still and you would be better off going to a cosmetology school, at least they are trying to get a good grade.
Yep, you can bet when I DO get my hair trimmed or cut next I am going to spend what ever it takes to get it perfect :)
Quote from: Brenda E on October 16, 2014, 12:47:01 PM
I do like those styles, BreezyB. That's about how long my hair is now, give or take. Except very curly. And graying. And a bit bald at the front. Like this picture of Jude Law: http://www.moviecricket.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gallery_main-jude-law-bald-head-06.jpg. Except uglier too. And broke. And fatter.
Now I hate myself again. :(
Don't hate yourslf Brenda, it's amazing what you can do. Start with some colour to cover the grey. Then a really good home treatment for hair is olive oil. Put it through your hair, just a little, same as if you were using a hair treatment oil. Stick to the middle and ends of the hair, avoid the roots so it doesn't get too oily. Also look into why hair is curly and it helps a lot in knowing how to tame it. So all the methods such as chemical and heat work to break the proteins down in the hair. There are some new treatments available from the salon which don't exactly straighten hair, but more relax hair. It lasts 3-4 months and helps a lot. Now with the front, I would look to grow the fringe if you can. It does take some time, I haven't cut my hair in like four months but it's still short so it dos take a while, just be patient. But DONT CUT IT PLEASE! :)
Quote from: KiraD on October 16, 2014, 03:40:45 PM
My advice as a girl who's had many different hair lengths over the years (even as a guy):
A) Go to a proper hair stylist. Someone who knows what they're doing. I.e. not one of the "cheap shops". With hairstyles, it's my experiance that you get what you pay for ;)
B) Tell them that you intend to grow it long, and even mention that you want to look more feminine (you don't have to tell them you're trans*, just tell them you prefer a more feminine look). If you can find a pic of the hair style you're ultimately aiming for, it will help explain :)
C) After explaining what your aim is, ask them to trim it. It will take a little off of course, but tell them to keep it as long as possible. The aim is to get rid of split ends etc while not setting yourself back too much. By explaining you goal in the previous step, thy will (if they're worth their salt as a stylist) give it some shape to help it grow out the way you want it.
D) Let it grow out more, and book another "tidy up" appointment with the same stylist (same place, preferably same person if you can) around about the time it starts noticeably fraying at the ends again.
Hope that helps babe :) Obviously doing this will take a little longer than if you just let it grow wild, but it will keep it looking reasonable as you go along :)
♥︎*Hugs*♥︎
Excellent advice Kira. I did just this. Told my hair dresser I wanted to grow it out, showed her a pic of an androgynous hair cut on a girl and without saying anymore to her she got that I'm growing it long and in a femme style. Along the way though, I have short androgynous styles I'm able to do. The back is getting a little bit of a pain but apart from that it's very manageable. Mind you I spend a little time on it each morning :)
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on October 16, 2014, 03:27:29 PM. . . that pretty hair you currently see in my avatar is fake.
I had no idea. It suits you very well though!
Ok, I'm convinced now that it shouldn't be cut. If necessary, tidied up by a truly experienced hairstylist who is 100% aware that I'm trying to look like a girl one day, but nothing more.
My hair is in a completely bizzare state itself. It has some wacky layers in the back and flairs out to the sides. The good news is, I have made the decision to look for a more trans friendly job and will no longer cut my hair to make corporate America happy. I can form a tiny ponytail now, maybe another month before I can really get a hold of it and tie it back.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on October 18, 2014, 11:41:19 AM
My hair is in a completely bizzare state itself. It has some wacky layers in the back and flairs out to the sides. The good news is, I have made the decision to look for a more trans friendly job and will no longer cut my hair to make corporate America happy. I can form a tiny ponytail now, maybe another month before I can really get a hold of it and tie it back.
That is what I'm talking about. "Get a haircut and get a real job." George Thorogood did a pretty god job huh? Who in the world said that guys have to have short hair and girls can have long hair? Is there a Hair Czar in this country or the world? Note all the sarcasm. It is ridiculous. Everyone loves a rebel. But try getting a real job with long hair and they think you are rebellious. Well I'm trans, and yeah a little bit rebellious. So guilty for me, but what about all of our sisters that want a real job and have long hair? OMG I hope my rebellious streak isn't screwing other MTF from getting jobs. But I have a business of my own so I hope not.
Quote from: Jess42 on October 19, 2014, 04:00:43 AM
That is what I'm talking about. "Get a haircut and get a real job." George Thorogood did a pretty god job huh? Who in the world said that guys have to have short hair and girls can have long hair? Is there a Hair Czar in this country or the world? Note all the sarcasm. It is ridiculous. Everyone loves a rebel. But try getting a real job with long hair and they think you are rebellious. Well I'm trans, and yeah a little bit rebellious. So guilty for me, but what about all of our sisters that want a real job and have long hair? OMG I hope my rebellious streak isn't screwing other MTF from getting jobs. But I have a business of my own so I hope not.
Lol Jess, a hair czair :) yes I think there is, along with a colour czair, earring czair etc etc. it's just not right is it. Well I'm in Corporate Australia and already tarting to break all the rules, oh well, they'll just have to live with it ;)
Heh, a "real job".. it's pretty normal for men working in science or tech industries to have long hair. If anything those industries encourage rebelliousness, eccentricity and "thinking outside the box". Are those jobs "not real"? Because, you know, advancing the human race isn't like, important or anything lol ::) :laugh:
Sorry Jess, that's not directed at you hun ♥︎ That's directed at silly dinosaurs who say stupid things like that lol. This is why I'm so glad to be British - we don't have anything like the corporate mentality that 'Murica seems to always have lol :P (fyi Americans are generally lovely people, I just don't like the large corporations lol) ♥︎
Real worker here from Australia, :icon_wave:
I once worked at a bar when I was younger, where it was in the employee handbook "All males must have hair above the collar". It took them a few years before H.R came to me. Read that rule looked at me, looked at the handbook. Then asked
"Gypsy please at least make it a normal colour"
They knew they wouldn't be able to make me cut it without a fight >:-)
The times they are a changing. You might be surprised what you can get away with if you have the time and patience to go slowly.
Quote from: ♥︎ SarahD ♥︎ on October 19, 2014, 05:11:35 AM
Heh, a "real job".. it's pretty normal for men working in science or tech industries to have long hair. If anything those industries encourage rebelliousness, eccentricity and "thinking outside the box". Are those jobs "not real"? Because, you know, advancing the human race isn't like, important or anything lol ::) :laugh:
Sorry Jess, that's not directed at you hun ♥︎ That's directed at silly dinosaurs who say stupid things like that lol. This is why I'm so glad to be British - we don't have anything like the corporate mentality that 'Murica seems to always have lol :P (fyi Americans are generally lovely people, I just don't like the large corporations lol) ♥︎
I know hon. I was quoting George Thoroughood or however the crap you spell his name. One of our more famous musicians her in the US. I ain't never had a real job except for the military and that sucked for hairstyles. Other than that driving truck and no one cares what you look like or playing guitar and sometimes both. So long hair is pretty much a given.
I am in "Murica" as you say and I love this country but hat the freakin mentality when it come to looking "presentable". I hate corporations too. I have pulled up to many of them with an upside down cross in one ear and an upside down pentagram in the other with my long hair tucked behind my ears. I never stank like some drivers. My clothes were always clean and damn girlfriend, I actually smelled good. Even long and curly my hair was always neat. Or as neat as you can get with curls. I had so many call ins on me. The one that handled the calls asked if they wanted the crap there safe and on time or pulled by a driver with no experience in the snow and mountain passes? Guess what they really wanted? Funny how that works. Rebellious and Eccentric? Who are you taking about? LOL, just got to say it again LOL.
I definitely agree with you Sarah. But feeding the human race, entertaining the human race, delivering toilet paper to the human race and delivering undies to the human race is just as important as the tech industry. The coolest stuff I ever delivered was for Victoria's Secret and I had one whole box left over with nothing but thongs. Well guess who got a whole box of thongs? The box was 4'x4'. Oh yeah, I took what I wanted and sold the rest at a Wal Mart parking lot.
But yeah it is kind of crazy sometimes here when it comes to looks. Seems like everyone loves a Rebel but as long as they follow all the rules and look like everyone else.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 19, 2014, 05:32:38 AM
"Gypsy please at least make it a normal colour"
What were they talking about, I bet they were all normal colours Gypsy... We've got blue, green, pink, purple, indigo, I mean, are they saying these aren't normal colours? Hmm, HR can be so much fun to deal with sometimes.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 19, 2014, 05:32:38 AM
Real worker here from Australia, :icon_wave:
I once worked at a bar when I was younger, where it was in the employee handbook "All males must have hair above the collar". It took them a few years before H.R came to me. Read that rule looked at me, looked at the handbook. Then asked
"Gypsy please at least make it a normal colour" They knew they wouldn't be able to make me cut it without a fight >:-)
The times they are a changing. You might be surprised what you can get away with if you have the time and patience to go slowly.
Don't sound like any bar I have ever frequented or played at. Did ya'll get a bunch of stuffed shirts or something?
Quote from: Jess42 on October 19, 2014, 05:43:34 AM
But yeah it is kind of crazy sometimes here when it comes to looks. Seems like everyone loves a Rebel but as long as they follow all the rules and look like everyone else.
How do you say it? If you want to be a rebel all you have to do is dress the same way I do and listen to the same music I do
Quote from: BreezyB on October 19, 2014, 05:47:24 AM
What were they talking about, I bet they were all normal colours Gypsy... We've got blue, green, pink, purple, indigo, I mean, are they saying these aren't normal colours? Hmm, HR can be so much fun to deal with sometimes.
Have done all those so far Bree except green. That one will probably be next Christmas (red and green :P). Yeah they wanted a normal hair colour, and for some reason raspberry fudge on bleached hair doesn't look normal. It only took them about a month after I had that colour before they came to see me thou :laugh:. Yeah I never could understand H.R sometimes :-\
Quote from: Jess42 on October 19, 2014, 06:07:27 AM
Don't sound like any bar I have ever frequented or played at. Did ya'll get a bunch of stuffed shirts or something?
Close a Returned Servicemen L? club. (I forget what the L stands for). Had to wear long shirt pants vest and tie. You could always tell when I had finished my shift because the first thing I would do is take my hair out straight away before clocking off
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 19, 2014, 06:15:49 AM
Have done all those so far Bree except green.
Close a Returned Servicemen L? club. (I forget what the L stands for).
Well St Patrick's day could be a goer for green? Although it's just one day, but you could use that crazy colour stuff.
And the L stands for League. I bet that place was a blast to work at, bless our Service Men and Women :icon_2gun:
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 19, 2014, 06:15:49 AM
2How do you say it? If you want to be a rebel all you have to do is dress the same way I do and listen to the same music I do
Have done all those so far Bree except green. That one will probably be next Christmas (red and green :P). Yeah they wanted a normal hair colour, and for some reason raspberry fudge on bleached hair doesn't look normal. It only took them about a month after I had that colour before they came to see me thou :laugh:. Yeah I never could understand H.R sometimes :-\
1Close a Returned Servicemen L? club. (I forget what the L stands for). Had to wear long shirt pants vest and tie. You could always tell when I had finished my shift because the first thing I would do is take my hair out straight away before clocking off
1.I just ain't ever been to a bar like that before. Most of the ones that I have been to have been kind of rough. Even in the military I went off post, especially in Korea. So no NCO or O club for me. Mama San did me really good when I cam in. A tie? Wow, maybe I just been too much on the sleazy side of town. Hell hon the way you a\talk about the one you used to work at, I seriously doubt they would let me in.
2 I don't say it but that seems to be the "rules" nowdays. You can be a rebel as long as you do what I tell you. I do what I want. My drivers do, look and dress the way they want. I got two that do Sturgis and Daytona. I tell 'em go for it. Both of us make money and I make sure they make as much as I do when they sit for a week waiting.
Quote from: BreezyB on October 19, 2014, 05:09:07 AM
Lol Jess, a hair czair :) yes I think there is, along with a colour czair, earring czair etc etc. it's just not right is it. Well I'm in Corporate Australia and already tarting to break all the rules, oh well, they'll just have to live with it ;)
I guess I should shut up. With our government a hair czar may very well be possible. :P Along with a color czar and earing czar. Hell our pres just hired and Ebola czar with no background in healthcare and no knowledge of Ebola. I know more about Ebola than this guy.
BTW, this isn't political just pointing out.
Keep breaking the rules and pushing the boundaries Breezy. If the rules and boundaries weren't made to be pushed and or broken, then there would be no rules. Don't listen to me though 'cause when I was younger I lost a lot of jobs because of my attitude.
Quote from: BreezyB on October 19, 2014, 06:36:57 AM
Well St Patrick's day could be a goer for green? Although it's just one day, but you could use that crazy colour stuff.
I bet that place was a blast to work at, bless our Service Men and Women :icon_2gun:
Green hair chalk could be fun for a day. The place did have it moments because I ended up working in the TAB (betting area), we would joke I only worked two days a year. ANZAC Day (Lest we forget), and Melbourne Cup Day.
Quote from: Jess42 on October 19, 2014, 06:42:30 AM
2 I don't say it but that seems to be the "rules" nowdays. You can be a rebel as long as you do what I tell you. I do what I want. My drivers do, look and dress the way they want. I got two that do Sturgis and Daytona. I tell 'em go for it. Both of us make money and I make sure they make as much as I do when they sit for a week waiting.
That's what I love about my new job. As long as I'm clothed and have my work top on. My boss doesn't care how I look as long as I do my job and get them spending money, so there is money in the business at the end of the week.
Quote from: Brenda E on October 19, 2014, 07:59:22 AM
Cute!
I know, I saw the SPELLO but it just seemed to work :D
I use it's a 10 shampoo and cream styling gel, both with keratin. I have frizzy hair and it tames it. You can get it through Amazon.
I have another 18 - 24 months at least of hair growing and I will not cut it. I agree long hair is the #1 feminine cue.
I too love my longer hair.
I hope this helps.
Thanks for the recommendation, Cynthia Michelle. I'll order some - hope it has industrial strength defrizzing properties.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on October 19, 2014, 09:48:07 AM
I use it's a 10 shampoo and cream styling gel, both with keratin. I have frizzy hair and it tames it. You can get it through Amazon.
I have another 18 - 24 months at least of hair growing and I will not cut it. I agree long hair is the #1 feminine cue.
I too love my longer hair.
I hope this helps.
Thanks^^___^^ Cynthia. My hair isn't frizzy but I have a friend who's is -badly. She is trying to grow hers out as well and having a hard time dealing with the frizz. Although, she might need that industrial strength frizz control Brenda mentions, lol! :)
Hair Czars, Earring Czars, color Czars, fashion Czars, lol, y'all are too much! Thanks Jess, Gypsy I needed a good laugh today! :D
Ally ;)
Quote from: Jess42 on October 19, 2014, 04:00:43 AM
That is what I'm talking about. "Get a haircut and get a real job." George Thorogood did a pretty god job huh? Who in the world said that guys have to have short hair and girls can have long hair? Is there a Hair Czar in this country or the world? Note all the sarcasm. It is ridiculous. Everyone loves a rebel. But try getting a real job with long hair and they think you are rebellious. Well I'm trans, and yeah a little bit rebellious. So guilty for me, but what about all of our sisters that want a real job and have long hair? OMG I hope my rebellious streak isn't screwing other MTF from getting jobs. But I have a business of my own so I hope not.
Are you hiring?!?!? ;D
I used to have really long hair until I sold my soul to the business culture a few years ago. It funded my transition though. It's tough being the square peg in a world of round holes, as some of us know. The holes being ->-bleeped-<-s who generally don't like anyone that isn't a clone like them. My last job I
reeeeally stuck out like a sore thumb. A somewhat flamboyant not yet full time semi androgenous person in "guy" mode who wears earrings. Yeah. :icon_chick:
On the original topic, I am using John Frieda frizz ease to help my overly curly locks but it doesn't seem to be working. I think it will be more managable when I grow it out.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on October 19, 2014, 07:36:45 PM
Are you hiring?!?!? ;D
I used to have really long hair until I sold my soul to the business culture a few years ago. It funded my transition though. It's tough being the square peg in a world of round holes, as some of us know. The holes being ->-bleeped-<-s who generally don't like anyone that isn't a clone like them. My last job I reeeeally stuck out like a sore thumb. A somewhat flamboyant not yet full time semi androgenous person in "guy" mode who wears earrings. Yeah. :icon_chick:
On the original topic, I am using John Frieda frizz ease to help my overly curly locks but it doesn't seem to be working. I think it will be more managable when I grow it out.
No. Unfortunately I have all the drivers I need right now. And yeah, they dress and look how they want. But driving trucks, you can get away with just about anything except drug use. Well anything as long as you are a safe driver, make it seems like you follow the CVSA regulations, take care of the truck and equipment and don't have accidents. My rules are: Take care of my truck and equipment. Don't drive stupid and kill anyone. Don't trash the interior. Use your best judgment when it comes to the bad weather and sleep when you are tired, I will handle the company if they have a problem with it. And please take showers and be clean and don't stink up my trucks. And that is it.
As for Frizz Ease. That is some magical stuff for curly hair. It don't make your hair greasy or oily looking and keeps the curls really smooth and soft. I live in a high humidity area and it does wonders.
In my "past life" I owned a successful aircraft repair business and my customers included the most obvious richest men in the world at the time, to say I had to have a certain "appearance" is an understatement for sure.
Now I'm doing something completely difference using my artistic skills and my appearance isn't that important and long hair is no big deal at all, much better :)
Quote from: Michelle G on October 20, 2014, 07:51:37 PM
In my "past life" I owned a successful aircraft repair business and my customers included the most obvious richest men in the world at the time, to say I had to have a vp certain "appearance" is an understatement for sure.
Now I'm doing something completely difference using my artistic skills and my appearance isn't that important and long hair is no big deal at all, much better :)
Yeah, it kind of sux that in the land of the free, we have to look "presentable" to be successful in some areas. Could be why I'm such a failure. ??? But at least a free failure. 8)
Just go and get it styled, if it's long enough get extensions
Update...
It was just getting toooo crazy and I ended up having it cut. Trimmed, to be more accurate. I found a coolish little salon in town that was very highly rated - nothing fancy, just a few steps above Hair Cuttery. I explained exactly what was going on (early stages of MtF transition, want to grow hair out but it's just too unruly and scruffy at present, don't cut anything off the top, etc.) She was extremely understanding, trimmed only the teeniest little bit off the ends to smarten it up, and gave me a good education in how to care for it and style it during this awkward stage. I'll definitely be going back to her once it gets out of control again.
It looks far better now, even though it's probably been trimmed no more than 1/4" (half a month's growth?) Cost me $30 because it was still considered a guy's haircut. Literally the first time I've ever spent money on a haircut I've been happy with.
Quote from: Brenda E on November 03, 2014, 09:26:24 AM
...Literally the first time I've ever spent money on a haircut I've been happy with.
Sounds good. Be sure to get that stylist's name so you can make appointments when she's there. Good luck with your grow out.