We are running into a thing here where a few of us seem.to be trying to carry the forum, and some are dominating it and some threads, like the creatures thread that is so important and has now drifted away from its purpose, to reveal our hearts and genders and feelings... I am unhappy about that.
I know I am heavy in the forum, but I feel it is needed right now....
How do we get more non binary involvement? There are many reaching out to us...
What is your contribution to the Nonbinary forum?
Are you able to speak out more? Are you afraid to share? We all have much to offer, do not fear to speak out..
Love to.all here
Blessings
Satinjoy
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AM
and some are dominating it and some threads
I may have done this on a thread and I am sorry for that. I'm impulsive and talk too much.
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AMWhat is your contribution to the Nonbinary forum?
Not much lately, but I used to post here a lot.
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AMAre you able to speak out more? Are you afraid to share? We all have much to offer, do not fear to speak out.
Yes, I am afraid to share for a few reasons. I'm not sure if I'm considered non-binary enough and if I'll be shut out for not being non-binary enough. I'm afraid that people will start talking about gender roles as if I believe in them or as if I should base my sense of self on them which I consider extremely insulting and frustrating which only gets worse because no matter how many times I repeat myself, people don't listen and they keep doing it. I currently do want people's input on things because I want an outside perspective, but I'm afraid to ask for it because I'm afraid no one will know what the heck I am talking about and start saying all sorts of things that make no sense. Then when I try to explain, I'm afraid they'll ignore me in favour of insisting that their misunderstanding is correct.
i'm kind of dominating these days. taking last post in more than half of the threads here...
but i'm doing it for the sake of learning through conversation.
i hope anyone else who does this will have the same reasons.
it's also some boredom, i might need to playmore minecraft again.
time without internet has made this forum a really convenient place to pour creativity into...
non-binay enough is a weird concept that i don't even want to understand.
if there's one thing i'd change about the world, it is the thought that you need to qualify for an identity.
an ethnic identity may be a little different, as well as a political one.
but the personal ones, that really don't impact anything other than your own life...
where's the need to protect so fiercely?
i hope i haven't been making you feel too uncomfortable, edge.
i have a tendency to throw out thoughts and even assumptions, but it's only to get more answers, trying to understand a reality that isn't my own.
it's interesting to see how different people are. i really want more people to give some serious input in this section.
anything that isn't dictating someone else's life or right to an identity, is good.
the way i see it.
I wanted to encourage a member to open up about themselves in the creature thread, I was very curious to know about what they would express in written context but instead, getting sentences that have seemingly little relevance to one's identity... or maybe it did? Shadow guards, three wolves, three ravens... yes, yes, that's wonderful but what do those animals/figures symbolize to that person...? I am a curious creature, perhaps too much for my own good, I am always seeking to understand another person, even if I get frustrated in the process. A terrible flaw of mine, I admit. The person in question has demonstrated very creative writing skills when describing their dysphoria, I thought I would see a little more of that and a spark of hope within their writing... the similar hope that many of us share here in the forest.
I thought showering them with love and acceptance would help reassure them that they aren't alone in their journey, that many others have been where they are now... I was wrong.
Hope is the only thing that keeps me going nowadays, it is a strong emotion and I cling to it. Without it, the world would be a lonely place.
I am sorry for causing the drift in the forest. I should have thought better than to invite and pressure someone who wasn't ready to open up about themselves. I promise I will not do it again.
that's not your fault jacey. even vampires are responsible for their own actions.
some people have a strong attachment to their darkness.
some because they identify with the pain, some because it's the only thing that assures them they're alive.
i like my darkness because it's fun. but i can't just go around wreaking havoc in the unicorn forest at the expense of other creatures.
love and acceptance aren't always the right things for a person.
sometimes grief and anger must be dealt with first.
i have experienced that myself.
love feeling fake, the light only burning my skin and blinding my vision.
but i've always known that people mean it well, and rejecting someone for accepting me is something i know isn't right.
i'm not that desperate to become lonely and miserable until death.
I hope it's okay for me to hang around and post here... I don't really think I'm dominating any threads. I really don't post all that often. But I dunno... I do feel a little apprehensive about being here. A self-identified binary in the non-binary section. I wonder if people are thinking, "What are you doing here? You've got a section of your own. Stay over there. You have nothing useful to contribute." But I try to reassure myself that it's probably baseless worrying and no one's thinking that. Everyone seems really nice here. Taka has become one of my favourite posters on Susan's. I wonder if he (correct me if that isn't the right pronoun) thinks I'm annoying, though. :P
Anyway, I probably do post in this section less than I want to, because I worry people don't want me here.
I keep my lid on my darkness tightly closed. I had opened that lid once before, it caused my mind and dreams to entertain fantasies nobody with an ounce of humanity should ever fantasize about - much less enjoy it thoroughly. My darkness remains under my skin, hidden from view, much like the organs within my body. I once hated it, I more-or-less have since accepted it as a part of me. Fighting your own darkness can be a losing battle when it is part of yourself, something you cannot erase or suppress forever, something that has ingrained itself into the very core of your being.
I believe everyone has their own definition of what their darkness is. I now understand that another person's darkness is not a representation of my own - this misguided assumption causes my protective instincts to kick in for all the wrong reasons. Their darkness may not threaten their livelihood, the darkness can be something that is embraced in a positive manner. I realize this now.
Thank you, Taka.
And Pikachu, you are more than welcome to hang around. Please do not worry, binary or non-binary, we welcome you with open arms :icon_hug:
I've been busier than in years past and hunkering down a bit. My mood's been sketchier a bit more the last couple months (maybe work and exercising less, maybe low-mid/dose E being around a bit more but not "progressing" further), but for the most part I'm keen to not talk/complain about things; usually I have a pretty idea of what I need to do, I'm still gathering information, or there's not anything I can realistically expect others to help with.
I'm not sure that even when I have things to say that they are as thoughtful as in the past. I'm concerned about it, but that thought keeps getting driven out by other priorities. I have had stepped on another user's toes while trying to help them and don't know how, and that's probably not helping.
My feelings of identity are even weaker than they are before. Some people may look at this as "regressing," but I'm trying to break off identities and labels that don't confer anything I consider meaningful. Even declaring who I am in the unicorn forest feels forced. I can speak with greater confidence about what feels right for me, or what my values, talents, and interests are.
i dream of a world where gender does not matter, at least not the way it does now, and people are seen for who they are rather than expectations of gender roles.
how can i wish for something like this, if i don't welcome all to the forest?
this is a place to be free, not restricted.
to share of yourself to learn more together.
you're lovely pikachu.
i'd turn into a kitten to chase your fluttering wings, but without malicious intent.
i don't remember yesterday's events too well, this day is more important,
but i think i always found you lovely enough to chase playfully.
Awwww... Thanks, Taka.
You've got a really beautiful, expressive way of writing, you know. I really admire that.
Quote from: Taka on October 19, 2014, 10:09:03 AM
i hope i haven't been making you feel too uncomfortable, edge.
No, Taka. You're pretty open to trying to understand which I appreciate.
Quote from: EchelonHunt on October 19, 2014, 10:53:49 AM
I am a curious creature, perhaps too much for my own good, I am always seeking to understand another person, even if I get frustrated in the process.
I'm the same way, but I think it's a good thing. Not the frustration, but the curiosity.
Sometimes, the language gets a bit too flowery for me and I have no clue what anybody is saying.
Quote from: Pikachu on October 19, 2014, 11:43:23 AM
I hope it's okay for me to hang around and post here... I don't really think I'm dominating any threads. I really don't post all that often. But I dunno... I do feel a little apprehensive about being here. A self-identified binary in the non-binary section. I wonder if people are thinking, "What are you doing here? You've got a section of your own. Stay over there. You have nothing useful to contribute." But I try to reassure myself that it's probably baseless worrying and no one's thinking that. Everyone seems really nice here. Taka has become one of my favourite posters on Susan's. I wonder if he (correct me if that isn't the right pronoun) thinks I'm annoying, though. :P
Anyway, I probably do post in this section less than I want to, because I worry people don't want me here.
Honey you're always welcome here, this is my base camp being non-binary transdrogynous but I feel free to post in all the MtF forums and some of the FtM forums because being trans is not an (Us vs Them) sort of proposition. I like the idea that we are all extended family, members of a unique community.
Quote from: Shantel on October 19, 2014, 12:49:19 PM
Honey you're always welcome here, this is my base camp being non-binary transdrogynous but I feel free to post in all the MtF forums and some of the FtM forums because being trans is not an (Us vs Them) sort of proposition. I like the idea that we are all extended family, members of a unique community.
That's why I like calling you auntie, 'cause you're like a part of my family. Everyone here is. :)
Quote from: Pikachu on October 19, 2014, 12:52:31 PM
That's why I like calling you auntie, 'cause you're like a part of my family. Everyone here is. :)
:-*
Quote from: Edge on October 19, 2014, 12:41:13 PM
Sometimes, the language gets a bit too flowery for me and I have no clue what anybody is saying.
sometimes, staying here is a fight with my own instinct.
when things get flowery, i let sootball play. that thing is better than me at dealing with flowers that don't even try to eat little flies.
not that i don't appreciate cute things, i just don't know how to interact with them at all times.
Yeah I felt the forest got a little off track, sorry if I was a part of that. I'm quite open about my darkness I think, and I can understand if it is at times unsettling, but trying to repress it is actually quite painful, both mentally and physical. Yeah, the blade garden is more than just a metaphor.
I'm a dragon so I can be big and scary sometimes - I certainly acknowledge that the language I use can be intimidating, and I can be quite prickly at times (also hella sarcastic). I generally don't pick fights, this place is meant to be a safe space, and rowing doesn't help. I will however use the report button if I feel people are acting inappropriately (i think I've done it once, maybe twice).
I hope my input is relevant, it's nice talking to you all and trying to reach a better understanding of my gender.
i like cerys, would be sad to see you leave.
your input has been valuable to me, even if i think that blade garden of yours looks rather painful for my own taste.
if you want dark posts, i think i have made a couple of my own...
some destruction is playful, meant to ment rather tahn hurt.
but other times, it is a fight against a darkness that just won't be chased away.
i have found that expressing it, letting it exist, dwelling and contemplating on it for a bit, makes it easer to live with.
the darkness really is just another little piece of me that needs as much validation as anyone else in order for me to become complete.
I don't sweat it. The forest is organic. Forests don't follow rules, don't conform to expectation. When there are fewer people, more of us will dominate. When there are more, each one contributes a little less. As long as it stays a safe loving place, everything else is less important.
Yes, being able to express the darkness helps with the fact I dwell in it a lot of the time. Being afraid of it just makes it worse. I'm grateful for being able to get it out here.
It's authentic to you, it's part of you, I have no issue with it, tomorrow I will pull your tail in that thread... we can have fun, that's fine, it's part of it, just like life...
Satinjoy
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 19, 2014, 08:06:04 AM
We are running into a thing here where a few of us seem.to be trying to carry the forum, and some are dominating it and some threads, like the creatures thread that is so important and has now drifted away from its purpose, to reveal our hearts and genders and feelings... I am unhappy about that.
How do we get more non binary involvement? There are many reaching out to us...
What is your contribution to the Nonbinary forum?
Are you able to speak out more? Are you afraid to share? We all have much to offer, do not fear to speak out..
Love to all here
Blessings
Satinjoy
SJ
Your questions are important. But communities and forums are organic. I think that conversations can be seeded and ideas/questions introduced but it needs to be in response to perceived or expressed needs or interests.
A good start is encouraging visitors to stay awhile and read the posts. This is happening. It is happening a lot.
Listening, really listening and trying to support folk pays forward. Folk will read these threads, any posts made today are there for posterity. The posts and threads here are thoughtful, they are generally supportive.
Topics. Perhaps we could do more in seeding topics or discussions in areas that we may have personally resolved. While it may not be directly beneficial to us, sharing perspective and experience can be enormously helpful or comforting to those who are earlier in their journeys.
Tone. Perhaps we need to gently remind posters of the intent of a thread when it's meaning is at risk. The unicorn forest is a great example. The emphasis needs to be on 'gently', as inclusion is more important than excluding others.
Focus. The broader forum deals with issues common to all trans. Perhaps we should look at the questions being asked there and reframe those to fit with a non binary context?
Activity. Perhaps each one of us should commit to open a new thread every 2 weeks. With at least a dozen regular contributors as well as visitors this should generate more than enough activity to be a vibrant, dynamic and stimulating community. Metrics can be good.
Health Check. We are each invested in helping others and in progressing our own journeys. Perhaps we should discuss opportunities or concerns under this topic. If we regard any idea as valuable we may be surprised and delighted with what is suggested.
Better stop now, I talk too much.
Safe travels
Aisla
I question whether my emotional nature gets in the way... I feel off right now again, was way off yesterday. My passion can interfere.
It's all fluid, no rules really, and I questioned myself through the day. But I want to hear so many voices, and all the sages, everyone posting without worrying about how theyysound or if they are.trans enough, nb enough, strong enough, whatever enough.
Woof I am tired again, I can drive myself nuts quick.
So I don't want to be so serious here, I have poured my soul into this place, I care that deeply about it, about all of you.
Nowhere have I fit in like here, that was a long time to hurt from untreated trans.
I will keep throwing topics up and try to lighten up a little.
Blessings
Satinjoy
You're mercurial, it's part of your nature. We know and understand that :D
SJ
Take care. You have exhausted yourself before. We all have our limits
Aisla
I was reading this today, and just listening.
We all want to be supportive and be all of the positive things everyone mentioned above to each other, and we usually are.
I agree with a few of the earlier posters about sometimes our posts being ignored(often accidentally), or a post being disregarded and passed over by others concentrating on a more personal issue or conversation. It's okay though, most of us know each other well enough to sense whats going on, and give space where space is needed.. The bad part of that is that new members don't know us that well yet, or understand.
But in any group of different personalities, some are going to be stronger voiced and more spirited than some others, and most of us don't really care, and gladly accept that, if our comments and posts are treated with that same understanding.
Im sorry if my last post in the unicorn forest was negative, but I'm just not into all the dark stuff like some of you are. It's cool if others are enjoying it though, I guess thats whats important.
Aisla also had excellent ideas, and imagining them being implemented gave me a very good feeling that there is much we all can do and contribute positively to make our forest land the best it can be, and inviting to everyone to join us.
Bless us all. :)
just be yourself, mark. if you don't like dark, bring in some of your light.
i like that.
i'm not very good at making threads of my own. and if i ever do, it's usually something dark.
want one about nightmares? ...no, you say? okay, better to wait for a while with that one.
but i do enjoy posting in other people's topics.
sometimes we end up going off on a tangent, or discussing why a question is asked rather than the question itself.
or other interesting things.
been like that here for a while. derailing threads because of playfulness and curiosity.
like children chasing after butterflies when they were really planning to pick some flowers to bring back home.
many of the best discussions have come out of off topic discussions around things related to, but not directly concerning, the question asked.
i don't think i would want it any other way here, as long as the tangents aren't evil and posters aren't attacking each other.
we usually get back on topic as soon as someone posts on topic again.
I wonder if Taka has any idea how many people they have helped and how much of a difference they make
The tangents are fascinating, it is like, we plant a tree, the trunk forms, it branches out, all are helped if the tree is healthy.
One of the reasons I post so much is that it is how I hold onto my own sanity.
Like this morning.
One a person asked "Why me". the answer was "Why not."
Oh great.
I need the whole deal.... Personally I need to see it all, the good the bad and the beautiful, the whole spectrum.
So when its rough, I see its rough for others, when good, its very good, when someone is in trouble and I have life experience that helps, I want to reach out, if I can pry the time loose from my manically busy life.
I just want more people to be freed up to share theirs too, not to hold back any more, but to let go.
By the way pretty pikachu, I have no problems either with your posts, because you come from a place that appears real, and we do to, and neither side tries to change the other. That was the dream of many once. I for one am glad you are here, and unfortunately I trigger easily, we all know it, you have added to this place and not in any way hurt it.
So many lives reaching out, so many to touch here.... every one of us have so much to offer, survivors of trans, more than that, champions of it.
Nails out...hair down
Satinjoy
Muaaaaaaaah.. :D
Caution: Reflected sunlight from magical snail shells make cause temporary blindness..! :D
Its all good Taka.! I agree with lots you said..
Maybe sometimes we get a little intimidating to new people though.?
Wish we could pass out the knights armor and a shiny new sword to new members, give them a fighting chance.!! Lol.
Ha, I'm in a weird mood today.... :0
So am I, wait until you see what I do to that snail tomorrow morning LOL
that's a great idea, mark!
armor and swords to the knights, capes and wands to the mages, camouflage and a good bow to the archers. summoners probably already know how to summon.
it's always more fun in a party.
i should start making myself a magical spear. for some reason i always liked spears more...
wait. that wasn't the point of this, was it?
but yeah, we may appear frightening, but seriously.
this is a place where we can't afford to believe in anything other than that we all can become whatever we want.
and so can you lurkers out there!
i once saw someone comment on a yt video, that you can't become whatever you want because life isn't an anime.
they're right about life not being an anime.
but that's exactly what makes it worthwhile.
there is no author to control your life or possibilities.
you can be anything you want!
and if you're looking for a safe place to stay while figuring out how, this is it.
(looks like i've caught that weird mood too)
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 20, 2014, 07:41:08 AM
So am I, wait until you see what I do to that snail tomorrow morning LOL
:o :o I'll be waiting.! Sharpening my sword... and wit...! Hahaha.. :laugh:
Sounds great Taka..! :icon_archery:
also regarding the number of people i've helped.
i don't know that number, neither am i interested in knowing.
numbers do not matter.
every life is equally valuable, and if i start comparing, there will always be more that i haven't been able to help.
so instead, i count the one i'm facing right now.
if i can help you, even the tiniest bit, then that is all that matters.
You have. You are.
I am helped and you strengthen me.
By just being you taka.
Satinjoy
My goodness posting in the forest thread helps me fight depression, heavens...
Quote from: Satinjoy on October 20, 2014, 12:11:58 PM
My goodness posting in the forest thread helps me fight depression, heavens...
Glad it helps you hon! I'm going to drop out of "What animal are you in the Unicorn Forest" it's cute but not my kind of thing really. Thought I'd say in case someone takes note of my unresponsiveness there, no I'm not dead yet and all is well.
Quote from: Shantel on October 20, 2014, 12:17:52 PM
Glad it helps you hon! I'm going to drop out of "What animal are you in the Unicorn Forest" it's cute but not my kind of thing really. Thought I'd say in case someone takes note of my unresponsiveness there, no I'm not dead yet and all is well.
My reaction is similar. I read most of the posts there, but I have trouble getting into the whimsy. I love that the thread is there, but not really my thing.
not really my thing either, not violent enough for the playful part of me, tje darker parts prefer to play backstabbing games with kind of immortal family.
but the sootball likes it a lot. it only misses a bar to mess up and floor to sweep until they're blackened by its hard work...
funny thing was born in a bar thread somewhere far away from here.
Sometimes it can be quite twee, I come and go as I please though so it's all good.
As I've said before, I'm at a good place right now, and am around only to give what little support I can. Sometimes I feel as though I've run out of things to say, as I'm often repeating the same things over again. :)
Real life stuff interferes with my time to introspect here - I'd like to think I left enough of a toots trail for people to see how I've travelled. I have a few large time consuming things going on right now (not trans related, personal life is fine), that I need to be selfish and think of myself for a while.
I'll do short duck ins when I can, and I'm always more than happy to respond to pms.
I've been a bit put off here again lately, noticing most post replies getting stepped over and ignored, so I haven't contributed much in a while.. Its pretty obvious some of the more soft spoken, shy of the group hinted or complained of feeling similar, and seemed to have wandered away after nothing much changed.
But its been for the best for me i guess, its inspired me to spend more time sharing my walk and experience with a lot of new people on different sites who have no idea what non binary, or what trans even really means.. Anyway, the only way to educate others is to go out and do it, so maybe the problems amd past unrest here has had purpose. In the words of a wise man, we have bigger fish to fry than each other..
Quote from: Mark3 on October 27, 2014, 08:24:42 AM
I've been a bit put off here again lately, noticing most post replies getting stepped over and ignored, so I haven't contributed much in a while.. Its pretty obvious some of the more soft spoken, shy of the group hinted or complained of feeling similar, and seemed to have wandered away after nothing much changed.
It's felt the same way to me sometimes. Members of this site are typically going through personal struggles, right? So I think a lot of people don't always think of validating other members who post. I was certainly like that my first months on the site.
For me, a lot of times I'm not sure what to say in response to some replies. But I agree that it's always good to acknowledge replies. I get kind of an empty feeling when I put together a response carefully and than don't see any sign that anyone has read it.
replies are difficult to respond to when all i can say is "i read it" or "nice".
but i never just walk over a reply. i read them all before posting, and what i write is in response to everything i've read.
Keep posting mark
I need to do this better...
Sometimes, I just can't get a meaningful response to a post.
And I was raised to be silent if I don't have anything good to say.
So I don't post.
Sorry if it means you feel ignored. :/
Thanks my friends, aww, well you know I love everyone here..
Just sharing my thoughts.. I just felt a little lovely that day I guess..
I'm a happy bee though, just buzzing around the internet sharing my honey.!
:) ;)
Quote from: Mark3 on October 28, 2014, 01:16:24 PM
Thanks my friends, aww, well you know I love everyone here..
Just sharing my thoughts.. I just felt a little lovely that day I guess..
I'm a happy bee though, just buzzing around the internet sharing my honey.!
:) ;)
The Freudian slip here is priceless.
Wish I felt lovely .....
Maybe in a few hours....
Nails out
Satinjoy
I hope you feel better.
Bless you.