Hey, everyone. I'm Kyler.
I'm an 18-year-old transguy. I don't like to introduce myself like that because gender identity is such a small part of someone's personality, it's ridiculous, but for all intents and purposes here, that's who I am...a transguy. Right.
So a little about myself...I've known that there was something different about me from a young age, but I couldn't really peg it. It was obvious that I didn't enjoy doing things that a lot of little girls my age enjoyed (this was blatantly obvious because I have twin sisters that are a year younger than me, so there was always the comparison), but I did like boy activities very much. I tended to hang out with my older brother whenever I could because whatever he was doing was usually more interesting.
When I was little, he taught me to fight, throw a football around, ride a bike, and play basketball. One thing I'll never forget is one day when we were younger (I couldn't have been more than 8 or 9 years old), he just looked at me when he was teaching me to throw a spiral football, and said, "Hey, *****, you're really just a boy trapped in a girl's body, ya know." At that time, I didn't even think about what he said, but years later, after struggling with my own identity for so long, I realized how right he was.
Part of the reason it took me so long to figure all of this out is that I was so ignorant as to what "transgender" even meant. I had never actually looked it up, but from what I could put together in my little kid mind, it was something sexual, something dirty, something--of course, I didn't connect myself with that. I just figured that I was a tomboy though that didn't fit well either. I never liked my name. I always had nicknames because my birthname is so painfully feminine, and it just never fit.
However, when I was about 16, I started going online more often, and I don't know what prompted me, but I made a fake account and identified as male. I made a lot of friends on that account, and it just felt so natural, so good, to be referred to as a guy and no one was any the wiser. But at the same time, I was confusing myself. I didn't understand my feelings, and I felt like I was doing something wrong, so I came clean (and managed to keep all those friends). But I ended up making another profile later because I missed that feeling again.
I thought something was wrong with me. Why was I doing this? Eventually, I got so depressed and I was looking stuff up online and I found a lot of trans sites and information. It fit me perfectly, and it was a relief to realize that I wasn't crazy but at the same time, until I really understood what it meant to be trans, I had that negative image in my mind.
Well, that was about a year or so ago, and now I am here. I still have yet to come out to family and friends though my online friends do know and I dress, act, and wear my hair like a boy. I'm nervous to come out, and I'm just looking for some support from other people who understand this and other feelings and problems that go along with being transgender.
Thanks for reading this long thing if you did.
Kyler.
Kyler
Welcome to Susan's family
There are a few here that should have information to help.
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Safe passage on your path, popcorn?
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Izzy
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i don't have many friends who matter, and i'm not enough of a man to care about what most people think i am.
but there are some that really are closer, and really need to know that i truly am the person i am.
still, how do i come out...
after a whole lot of thinking, i found out there is no natural way to sneak it into a conversation at all, and telling it without a context really makes too much out of it.
gender should be obvious, it would be, if only genders weren't assigned at birth. at least let the kid choose when they're old enough to know there is a difference.
and making a big deal out of it, makes it seem like a dirty little secret, rather than something perfectly natural and just a part of who i am.
i also made a "fake" account once. took me some time before realizing that was actually real. a real fake account, one that is more me than i display offline.
in one manga community, i am a guy with a kind of unidentified gender, seemingly gay with a preference for women.
only a few persons there know i'm trans. the one who was unaccepting was banned for generally bad behavior...
there aren't only problems with being trans. you just reminded me of some fun things too.
there's no need to view yourself as a transguy even if you have a rather female body. just a guy is enough.
i have problems being a guy at all times though, so i've even had odd breakdowns where i kind of expressed that i "wish i were a girl".
i hope you're less confused than me, it would make your life easier
Thank you for the welcome, Mrs. Izzy!
Taka...that is a dilemma, isn't it? I don't want to make it seem like a dirty little secret, but at the same time, I want people to take me seriously. At least, my friends and family.
I am very confused. I told one of my online friends that would love to be a guy who sometimes dressed up as a girl. What? I know that I should probably see a gender therapist but I'm not sure how to go about doing that without coming out first.