My boyfriend recently came out to me as being FtM when I first fell in love with him as a lesbian partner. At first it was hard for me to accept, and it gave my system a shock which led, among many things, to us breaking up momentarily. After time to clear my head I've become the most supportive person in his life thus far about his coming out. What I need, is support. This, while an easy decision to make to support him and love him for everything he is, is also a struggle still trying to understand my own sexuality, and where to go from here after just coming out as a lesbian. Some things are still very confusing to me and I'm just looking for someone to talk to about this all. Hopefully I'll get a little help here. I love him dearly and I want to be the best I can be for him.
(https://38.media.tumblr.com/0bcb57ae53844128aff69edb4ef73307/tumblr_ndmdacsnS51qjxs5qo1_1280.jpg)
It's a tough spot to be in, but I think you need to remember that love isn't just about gender and sex, its about finding someone who understands and loves you, and vice versa. I follow a couple on youtube and the woman talks about that in one of their videos. I'll send you the link, I think this site allows that. It's not a position that I am in, so I can't really give you good advice. However, my boyfriend of 7ish years, who does not have bisexual tendancies, has been very supportive of me (FtM). I don't think he understands everything, and he has made some big mistakes, but who hasn't?He says he loves me and will continue to love me, even if I become a male...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4BFZ5cV0Kk&index=38&list=UUpBeAfdqXHnvM4mHYcfKArw
Thank you for the links, I really appreciate it.
Sure. If you have hours of free time, go all the way back to where Dade started, and look at how unhappy he was. Then work your way forward to now. Its amazing.
Welcome! I'm afraid I'm married to a trans woman and was happy to stop being seen as a straight woman, but being assumed to be a lesbian is still wrong now (I'm bisexual) and I definitely sympathize with the overall feelings of confusion and anxiety about what this means for the two of you. My usual advice is to try to take things one step at a time (not that I was any good at that!!) and remember that as long as you both love each other and are willing to work on this relationship, it can not only survive but thrive.
There are straight women who now consider themselves to be still het but have one exception based on "grandfathering in" a partner who presented as male once; you don't have to sacrifice your lesbian identity if you don't want to, though obviously you're probably going to be misperceived by strangers.
There are definitely some supportive partners here who are willing to listen.
I definitely can understand the confusion. My boyfriend is a FTM and had transitioned about 10 years before I met him. I honestly had no idea of any kind that he was before we met as he is one of the manliest men that I have ever met Lol. He told me right after we started dating and I chose to go with the flow because I liked him as a person. I don't actually consider myself to be a lesbian as in my mind he is 95% male - just missing the male genitalia.
Hope you find yourself getting more comfortable with who you are and don't worry about the labels.