So I have been thinking about the type of transition I may have versus the dream scenario transition I would like to have.
In the few posts and limited time I have been on the site, some of you already fairly well, know my story. Fairly vanilla, suppressed anxieties over knowing my whole life I have been trapped in this body, highly twisted lately, early fifties, professional, husband and father about to FINALLY begin my HRT with advice from great professional help. YAY! Couldn't be more anticipatory and happy (besides my way twisted past few weeks, higher than the past few months, higher than the past few years (but I digress).
I know full well that with HRT Mileage May Vary. Having been highly analytical and succumbing to my most pragmatic side I know that:
1. My transition may be spectacular (and I will fight with all my resources to make this happen)
2. HRT is a complete bust and perhaps emotionally I will be in a better place without physical effects whatsoever and I will present Male forevermore.
3. Most likely I will be in a non-binary, androgynous world.
But here is the conundrum.
I no longer will need, or have a need for my male parts. I want the VJ in the worst way, and even if HRT has no physical discernible effects over a large period of time and I may full well be mired in a male body, why can't I just find a way to ramp the curve and get GRS prior to waiting to find the effects of HRT on my body. At the end of the day is it not unlike cis-females that want gender change to male without GRS for their anatomy to change?
Now I realize many will say it will be impossible for any Doctor to do this without verifications, letters etc...., but I disagree, anything can be had for a price.
Is it unfair to say I can get this and should do this if I really want this, and always have?
cis females do not want a gender change. with or without GRS.
I know that a few people are there who present male because they cannot manage to present female even with hormones and surgeries would not suffice - but they are still transsexual and thus want their bodies as close to what they need as possible, so they had GRS and Hormones anyways and some even breast augmentation - still they officially present male. I dont think this is needed for many as FFS and other surgeries can go a long way now if hormones are not as effective, but it can be done.
That said, I think with a proper hormone treatment there are good changes in it for everyone. Just sadly most endocrinologists dont know how to really do this.
The system is generally set up to prevent people from getting GRS without having had at least one year's FTE as their identified gender. Even if it were possible you would need to continue taking either E or T (if you didn't want full feminisation effects because of not transitioning). My advice is to wait (that dreaded word) until you have been on what your endo considers full strength HRT for at least a year before you start worrying about any of the above.
Okay, LordKat, the intent was correct, but worded poorly; Men born in a woman's body, transgender, that do not want GRS. Sorry.
Anyway, Anjac, I am seeing an endocrinologist, recommended independently, unsolicited, by my psychiatrist and gender therapist, highly renowned and accepted by my local community, in the space for over twenty years. All I can do is surround myself by highly significant and wholly cognizant, experienced professionals for our needs, especially at my age; this is what I am doing. But certainly, I know my expected limitations, hope the HRT is significant enough to deal with my psycological needs, and pray that it takes care of my physical needs to present well, eventually, FT. But having said all that, again the question, why not just get rid of the parts and make the change nonetheless?
Grace, I love you and your responses, mad props. Just a hypothetical, I AM a woman that usually gets what she wants, that's all. I can be patient, at a level.
Would it be possible? Yeah, sure..
Would it be wise? Not so much..
Ok, I do not see so much the urgency in it. Why not go the normal route for now, get a proper hormone therapy (in my opinion this means estradiol but not as pills, micronized progesterone and as few antiandrogens as possible) - see for some time how well it goes - maybe 1-2 years. Take into account the possibilities of FFS or voice surgery and breast augmentation and then see what happens. if you still have that issue, then skip on FFS and the other surgery stuff if you dont want it and reconsider just having GRS, but I am sure that the chances are you will change your mind by then.
I take it your avatar is not yourself then?
We had some very interesting discussions about this sort of thing. The most recent one is here (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,173875.0.html). Might be worth a read.
There are two issues with what you're suggesting.
The first is that the medical establishment is suspicious of those who want surgery without RLE. Personally, I think that is patronizing and devised by cisgender doctors who don't understand that social dysphoria and body dysphoria don't always go hand-in-hand. If this is the main consideration, I'd say go ahead and get what you need.
However, there is also a medical concern. My surgeon did not want to operate on someone who hadn't done HRT for some period of time (I don't remember which) because she had medical concerns. I don't remember what they were, but they might have had to do with how well you tolerate it. After SRS, you will need HRT, since you won't produce any T any more, and it's harmful to many body systems not to have sex hormones. She didn't want to remove the source of T only to find that the patient couldn't tolerate E and cause a decline in the patient's general health.
I hope this helps.
I'm pretty sure that if your smart, driven, and have money, then you can manage to do it. But when you start hrt you might find your thinking changing quite a bit. I've noticed the urgency for some things dropping significantly for quite some time after starting hrt or even when increasing the dose, although it does seem to come back eventually. And if you do attempt to work around the system, I'd imagine its going to be a lot easier if you've been on hrt as long as possible.
Quote from: m1anderson on October 21, 2014, 03:34:57 PM
Okay, LordKat, the intent was correct, but worded poorly; Men born in a woman's body, transgender, that do not want GRS. Sorry.
No worries, I wasn't personally offended but have seen wars started over less. Thank you for addressing it and the apology.
Quote from: m1anderson on October 21, 2014, 03:34:57 PM
Okay, LordKat, the intent was correct, but worded poorly; Men born in a woman's body, transgender, that do not want GRS. Sorry.
Anyway, Anjac, I am seeing an endocrinologist, recommended independently, unsolicited, by my psychiatrist and gender therapist, highly renowned and accepted by my local community, in the space for over twenty years. All I can do is surround myself by highly significant and wholly cognizant, experienced professionals for our needs, especially at my age; this is what I am doing. But certainly, I know my expected limitations, hope the HRT is significant enough to deal with my psycological needs, and pray that it takes care of my physical needs to present well, eventually, FT. But having said all that, again the question, why not just get rid of the parts and make the change nonetheless?
Yes, it can be had for a price.
I've seen someone get 2 psych letters AND their surgery within the span of ONE WEEK.without seeing ANY psychiatrist EVER before. (Not in your country though.have you considered other countries?) She was already presenting as a female and taking hormones, but honestly, everything is negotiable.
The system is really hypocritical anyway. Anyone should be allowed anything if THEY are sure.
If the system worked, you'd NEVER have people who go through it and then want to detransition. Clearly it doesn't work, which is why anyone with money circumvents it.
Start HRT first then reassess. I'm in your shoes but in my 40s. Once I started HRT my thoughts and needs changed. Wander down that road awhile first, I think much will be clearer after running on the right fuel for awhile. It sure did for me.
Hugs
Kay
Quote from: anjaq on October 21, 2014, 05:09:38 PM
I take it your avatar is not yourself then?
Anjac..... no, my avatar is from a surgeon friend with software taking into account weight loss, age, significant changes through procedures etc.... there is hope.
This was a hypothetical. Suzi, I get it, and I listen. Of course I will respect the process but was wondering if it was at all possible. Like I have said, a lot, I am certainly analytical and quite pragmatic about what or how the effects of HRT will be for me . YMMV. I get it. I fear the unknown and all the things I cannot control. This process is something I certainly know I cannot control, and I will get the results that my age and tolerance to drugs will provide.
Ladies, I am not rushing into anything, I do not rush into anything. I have great professionals that say I am more than ready to begin the journey and a journey it will be.
I love you all.
Quote from: m1anderson on October 22, 2014, 08:31:53 AM
Anjac..... no, my avatar is from a surgeon friend with software taking into account weight loss, age, significant changes through procedures etc.... there is hope.
This was a hypothetical. Suzi, I get it, and I listen. Of course I will respect the process but was wondering if it was at all possible. Like I have said, a lot, I am certainly analytical and quite pragmatic about what or how the effects of HRT will be for me . YMMV. I get it. I fear the unknown and all the things I cannot control. This process is something I certainly know I cannot control, and I will get the results that my age and tolerance to drugs will provide.
Ladies, I am not rushing into anything, I do not rush into anything. I have great professionals that say I am more than ready to begin the journey and a journey it will be.
I love you all.
It's not a bad idea though. Actually, since you have the money not to do either or but both, do orchiectomy right now. Fighting testosterone AND takinga higher dose of estrogen is a lot tougher on your liver, heart and whole body. There is no sense in keeping your testicles.
Hypothetically you can get whatever you want, but in practice I think that actually discussing how to do it here is probably against the sites terms of service and would get moderated.