I apologize if I sound like a research psychologist. It is very difficult for me to understand the behaviors and thought patterns of humans so I must study and ask questions to try to understand.
So I must ask: What is love? (I'm mostly taking about platonic but speak upon the other forms as well.)
I don't understand it. I'm not sure what it feels like. When I think of the people I was close to that I've lost in my life, I feel pain. That means I am capable of love, yes? Yet, it is still a mystery to me.
There is a dear friend who loves me. She tells me so, and I know it is true. I understand it objectively but I do not feel it innately. I what to say "I love you" back but it feels forced. It's like chronic emotional constipation.
I what to know what love feels like to you. How do you know you are feeling or receiving it? What evidence you have that it is happening? How meaningful is it? Is just an evolutionary adaptation? How do you know this love is not just utilitarian? Are you not considered about betrayal when your use has expired?
I feel like part of my recovery from illness is that I need to be open with my feelings, and learn to accept kindness from others. However, I feel that even if I can quench my suspicions of people, I will still face this road block of not understanding love (and most other emotions to be honest). Please enlighten me.
Wow, very hard question.? ???
Theres so many poems and written works on love, it's hard to add anything more.?
Love is when you want to put someone ahead of yourself in all things.. Its when you hold each other, and it feels like your one person, and totally complete in every way. It's when you look at someone at their worst, and treat them as your best.. It's when just seeing them after a long day makes you cry because you missed them so much. It's stepping out of your comfort zone, for the gift of stepping into theirs.
It's when they feel more important to you than life itself. It's a million such things..
;)
Love is the ability to look at someone flaws and all, and like what you see without feeling the need to change a single thing.
the above descriptions apply to me but they don't(and shouldn't) apply to any of my partners.
Change me for the better if you love me!
Love is too big for boxes. That's what love is :)
My love isn't your love...
I am in the same boat as you Satyranne,
I don't know what love is. All I know from what I've observed around me is that love can cause the most beautiful experiences and the most painful.
It feels unnecessary. I feel more comfortable with myself without getting involved with another person in a romantic or sexual manner. Platonic relationships are much more simple and more fulfilling - more fun too without the silly rules or suffocating standards of romantic relationships getting in the way!
To clarify, I don't look down upon people who enjoy romantic or sexual relationships, I just see no need to have one myself. I have had experiences of being in such relationships and they have only reinforced the reasons I was not interested in them in the first place.
In spite of this, I do have daydreams of experiencing romantic attraction to another person. Part of me is a hopeless romantic but the reality is I haven't been able to experience anything that resembles love but I am open to the idea. It is the same with enjoying sex dreams but in reality, sex is not of any interest to me. It is not a physical, intimacy, anxiety or mental issue. I am simply indifferent to love, sex, family and marriage. It may sound lonely to others but to me, it is freedom to be myself without having any strings attached.
I'm really sorry in advance. I saw this thread title and immediately had to think of this
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU-s2yWgEI8)
Please please excuse me. Okay now I shall read your post...
Okay sorry about that. In all seriousness now, I will do my best to describe the indescribable "love".
Love to me feels like a deep desire to care for a person regardless of any foreseen emotional obligation. Maybe it's a feeling of wanting to be with that person and see their life bettered even if it means you will have to make sacrifices or put in work of your own to make that possible. It might be kind of selfless, with the payoff being that you want to see them smile and be an even better person from the happiness you can bring them. It can be a range or combination of excitement for future happiness, fear for loss of oneself, or even nervousness like a challenge that you know you must accept in order to be with them. I think usually when people actually say "I love you" it is out of excitement, but there can also be a fear that the person will not feel mutually - especially in budding relationships.
Then there is friendly love, which can be much more lackadaisical. I know what you mean about it feeling forced to return those words sometimes. For a while I would return the words no matter what, but then realized that the lack of genuine expression in my voice was more harmful than good. Sometimes, I simply just take it as a compliment. And sometimes, I have found it best just to smile deeply with them as a form of thanks (that's why they probably said it in the first place). Sometimes a hug is in order, too :)
With friends, I no longer feel that I have to say it back if it doesn't feel right. I only do what feels right, and sometimes the right thing is to simply show appreciation of their kind words & presence with you in that moment. Being genuine is the most important thing for me.
I hope this helps. Sorry for the silliness at the beginning, I literally could not help myself.