Ok, I'm having a little issue that's been bothering me for a few weeks now as I've gotten anxious about my RLE.
The thing of it is, I've been telling people I'll be "going full-time as a woman" or "presenting as female"
The issue that's bothering me...is that these statements sound sooo fake! Just by saying them, it's like I'm putting on another mask. Just saying the word "presenting" just seems like it's a stage performance rather than a genuine expression of my true self. I've tried saying I'm "going out as myself" but even that doesn't sound right. Everything I come up with to tell people just seems...weird. fake.
I know this isn't a performance, but just by saying those words it seems it. People don't realize that words carry so much more meaning for some people than they think.
Has anyone else had a similar issue with this?
~Fae
"presenting" refers to what society perceives as being male or female. the rle is all about adjusting to this perception.
I've been considering this dilema too, Fae, and have come to the conclusion that I will say, "I've quit pretending I'm a man" rather than give the wrong impression by saying, "I will be living as a woman."
I think that's a better approach plus it also implies the concept taht I've always been TS but am only now doing something about it.
hugs & smiles
Emelye
The only thing I every told clients or friends was that I would be living as who I had always been, A Woman and my name is ...
We are not "presenting" I agree that sounds weird.
Sarah L.
Right. I don't agree with the word 'presenting' either.
I am not transitioning because my circumstances are different than yours, however, when I was going to transition, I was not comfortable telling people I'd be dressing or presenting. It's odd because I had no problem telling them I'm not a man.
I believe the mysterious Emelye and Sarah have good ideas for you.
Peace, Love, Hugs,
Rebis
Your not going full time... or presenting as anything... how about Just being yourself... not going out as yourself, but just being?
Reintroduceing yourself to peope you know is probably the toughest thing, though kinda fun at times. "Hi, my name is "......" *Other person asks about male name* Ummmm, Sorry but noone by that name lives here anymore. >:D
Just be brave, try to enjoy yourself, and dont worry what to tell people..
Quote from: LynnER on August 11, 2007, 11:00:27 PM
Your not going full time... or presenting as anything... how about Just being yourself... not going out as yourself, but just being?
Reintroduceing yourself to peope you know is probably the toughest thing, though kinda fun at times. "Hi, my name is "......" *Other person asks about male name* Ummmm, Sorry but noone by that name lives here anymore. >:D
Just be brave, try to enjoy yourself, and dont worry what to tell people..
*laughs* I will have to use that line, thanks. :D
~Fae
if u want my opinion something say 2 me u r not ready yet, if u considering this. Maybe u want... but u r inner not 2
Fae,
I do feel for you at this a most contemplative stage in your life. The way in which the media perceive you is not just based on arguments like 'how one is dressed', or 'body language triggers', it also involves the observers' own idiosyncratic behaviour. So put these concepts together and it is very easy to arrive at a paradox. One danger here of course is that you get dragged into the middle of all this and can start to believe that the issues are down to you... that it is all your fault; that you are doing or behaving in an inappropriate way. Therefore with this in mind it is very important that you don't weigh yourself down with self-labelling.
The expressions' 'full-time', and 'presenting', are in such common usage that it is so easy to trip them off the tongue without, as you have pointed out, the realisation that they do sound so mechanical. Add to this the term, 'transition', and you have, as you rightly say, a clinical performance.
We cannot get away from these terms for their use is global within the gender field to describe our RLE, ooop's' there's another one. Therefore try not to ponder too much on the possible impression given; just be you. In my case I simply did exactly that... I was just a woman living my life. I do understand your concern though when trying to explain to those we know, it is, in consideration of paragraph one above, difficult to express with the right words... you are not alone here in feeling awkward. I used to say, 'I am now Rachel and I am living as my true self', which is similar in words to your statement.
I hope that some of this makes sense.
Rara. x
Just tell them that you will soon be dressing as your actual gender, female. Just leave it at that.
I know, it sounds odd, maybe embarrassing. Try this on: Today, I had a customer I sold something to months ago, and there was a problem. He looked right at me, and asked if Mike was around. I smiled, and said "Hi, I'm Beverly. I was Mike.... once. How can I help you?"
He didn't even blink. See, the thing is, you have to be self assured. YOU are doing the right thing. I'm afraid, though, that other people will soon be doing the wrong thing, so be prepared.
Bev
Quote from: Fae on August 11, 2007, 01:21:01 PM
Ok, I'm having a little issue that's been bothering me for a few weeks now as I've gotten anxious about my RLE.
The thing of it is, I've been telling people I'll be "going full-time as a woman" or "presenting as female"
~Fae
i don't really have a problem with the idea of presenting as female. i mean, your skin presents you as an adorable life form, rather than an improbable conglomeration of blood and organs. presentation is serious stuff. facts alone are not enough.
-ell