I'm considering coming out soon and I'm not sure Makenzie "fits" How did you choose your female name?I was born in the 1990s if that helps
I've started HRT and I still don't even know. Personally, I don't really care anyway. I didn't choose my current first, middle, or last name, so maybe I'll leave it up to my parents when I go full time.
And yes, I like Abby, but I have no preference and may feel different later. If I go with something else, I'll just use Abby Claire as my porn name. Lol
As a child of the mid 80s I have the same issue. I use Bella online as its a shortning of the name I use in MMO games, but its not something I would wanna spend the rest of my life called.
The best idea I have come up with is to look back at lists of popular names when you were born. That way you can go for a name that fits with the generation you were born in.
Either that or just pick one that you think you can deal with, after all, its got to last you a lifetime.
My name is Vera, which according to the SSA was more popular in the 1920s than it was in 1985 (it doesn't even make the top 1000 in that decade) but it doesn't seem to cause any problems or issues. What is important is that ultimately you pick a name that you like and that you can see yourself being called.
Ironically one of the appealing things about my name is that there isn't any real shortening of it....two of my friends call me "V" though so I guess there really is no way to get around people trying to shorten your name.
Quote from: Hikari on October 26, 2014, 02:53:29 AM
My name is Vera, which according to the SSA was more popular in the 1920s than it was in 1985 (it doesn't even make the top 1000 in that decade) but it doesn't seem to cause any problems or issues. What is important is that ultimately you pick a name that you like and that you can see yourself being called.
Ironically one of the appealing things about my name is that there isn't any real shortening of it....two of my friends call me "V" though so I guess there really is no way to get around people trying to shorten your name.
As shortened names go, V is pretty cool >:-)
For me, it was more of a practical decision process. When I sign my name, it's my first and middle initial with my last name, so I wanted to choose new names that would keep the same initials. When I told my significant other at the time, her only request was that I didn't go with Matthew or Michael as a first name. I didn't look into historical popularity at all when I was making my choice.
I had a tough time choosing either mine OR my kids' names.
For me (I have another thread on this) I wanted to ask my parents but they didn't know what they would have named me.
So I first looked up names that were popular on baby naming sites, from the late 70s through early 80s.
Kate is a placeholder but I decided that Katherine would be a decent middle name, so I stayed with that.
For my first name I was going with Kimberly then the initials were too close to KKK plus I didn't like "Kim" as the shortened version.
Then I tried Renee, and someone else in the thread also liked it. Now I absolutely love it and that's what I'm going with.
I'm keeping my last name, because I have kids, and let's be honest - I'm never going to be deep stealth. I have too much of a history behind me. Besides, I spent so much time hiding already, I don't mind being out, not necessarily to the general public but to my inner circle.
I've chosen the name Melissa one because I've always liked the name, and the second reason behind it is the meaning is Greek in origin going back to Greek mythology, where Greek gods transformed a servant who fed Zeus the Melissa plant as a baby. So as a reward. They transformed her into a bee to collect honey for the gods. The part that really stuck to me is the transformation part of the meaning as I am transitioning. As far as my middle name. I'm going with Ann, because to me it really seems to flow nicely.
Hugs,
Melissa Ann
I chose Mariah because I had always liked the name and it fit and works for me.
Mariah
I never looked into the background of my name. I only knew that my old name meant manly and I knew that was wrong for me. I went through over a dozen names before 'Sarah' just occurred to me one morning. It just seemed to fit. As for my middle name, I've had an exceptionally bad time convincing the parents, but one of my Grandmothers was amazing. So I've taken her's as my middle name.
Sarah Jean.
Find the name that resonants with you for you. You are young so don't stress. Maybe your parents may help?
GL hun
Hugs :)
Reposted from another thread on the same topic in another subforum. With some edits/additions.
For me this was a process. One that is still slightly ongoing.
For years I identified with a male name not my own. In part because I had a very, very, very old form name. Imagine being born in the 80s with a name last popular in the 20s. Irony is, the name is 100% androgynous and indicates nothing about gender. Probably about as gender non specific as name's come.
So, for years I used the feminized version of my choice male name; Alex, I used Alexis. I chose a middle name that began with the first letter of my real name (referred to from here out as a name artifact). After some research I learned that 90% of people who change their name leave some indication as to the original name, whether it be initials or some variation of their old names they almost always leave name artifacts.That little factoid about name changes to me (a psychology student in transpersonal studies) made me think about why I kept any artifacts and or remnants of my old name.
What was the underlying cause became a big personal journey for me.
I had left them because of familial reasons was what I ended up realizing. My first name is My grandfathers (paternal) first name, my grandmother's (maternal) shortened name people called her, my fathers middle name, and half of my sisters first name. My middle name was my fathers first name, and surnames are surnames. I was unhappy with my middle name but was generally okay with my first name.
Then my father committed suicide, blaming my transition on his choice. He cursed me up until his passing and wanted nothing to do with me.
That decimated any desire to leave even a single name artifact (named somewhat after him and my grandfather and the artifacts came from that tie) related to him, not even a last name. Since his name artifacts are in all three of my given names. My birth name is his birth name reversed....and it is his last name.
Call it father issues if you want. I called it liberation from the negative feelings I carried from our time together and a way of being truly reborn and moving on.
It was only compounded when my affluent and well off grandparents did some deplorable things as well, basically disowning 60% of the family for reasons varying from "not doing well enough on their own", to "was a druggie in their teens and will never change". Despite my transgender status I was about the only one on my side of the family spared, and only because I am doing well enough to pay for all my surgeries oop if I have to and own a yacht..... basically superficial reasons.
Again family issues, but a series of them that left me absolutely disgusted with carrying those names.
So I did some soul searching. Big time soul searching. Who am I? What cultural values do I prefer? What familial values do I prefer? If I could be anyone, in name, carry any identity in those words who would I be?
I looked to which cultures I most identified with, studied their name etymology, and then built my name much as I would for a daughter. I looked at most popular and least popular names. I looked at how names are derived from words. I studied who I was and who I wanted to be.
I found a word that meant little girl, in the language of a culture I not only identify with but am actually descended from; but not just any context of a little girl, one who has not yet finished puberty or who is stuck in puberty. An indication of my transition and a word that I actually found enthralling the first moment I saw it.
I took said word and namified it. What do I mean, it was not appropriate to be a name itself, but a slight derivation left me with a very feminine first name. Having studied name etymology had left me able to easily turn that word I liked into a name. And now a new name exists, one derived from that word. I have a lovely unique first name that sings with my soul.
For a middle name I sought out highly used names in the country that I had derived it from. This gave a commonality to my name with the region from which I was naming myself. But not just any name I wanted a name with an honourable tone, a bearing of a certain type and a strength to it. So I studied strong female names of that area and found the one that I most resonated with. The name of a Queen I have actually respected for my entire life.
Finally, I chose a last name regionally appropriate. It fit with the tone I wanted my name to carry, but it was derived from another area and an adopted name in the region I was building my name from. Since I have yet to fully change my documents it is of no concern, I will continue to evolve this one until it is absolutely me.
I ended up with a complete change of initials. A complete change of name. But I have sought a meaning for every part of it.
First name- Built by me with a word that describes in many ways what I will always be. Not Kamiki, Kami is a nym used to help keep me stealth, I cannot post my chosen. It is too unique overall.
Middle name- Regionally appropriate and one I find very attractive. Also carries with it a nobility as it is the name of many a Queen of England and her current Queen. A woman who I have held a great deal of respect for my entire life.
Last name- English derived, currently one of Danish origins and English adoption, but am considering another; the only part of my name I am not certain is locked is my last name, it does not yet resonate with me the way other parts do.
But yes, for me it was a process.
Kami
I chose my name with some input from my sister. I had another name in mind, Elizabeth Marie. Elizabeth was my sister's middle name and the name of our maternal grandmother, whom we both loved dearly. But my first name was David and I had never found a female name that had similar meaning to David (beloved). But upon prodding from my sister, "why don't you research a bit? Maybe you can honor mom's intent in naming you David?", I then began to do some research.
Our family's roots are English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, a dash of Dutch, and way, way back, the Ramzinovitch's came to England as mercenaries in the 13th century, becoming an English family along the way. With that in mind, I soon stumbled upon Cara (beloved friend/dear friend) as a close female Irish approximation of David. I mentioned this to my sister, suggesting Elizabeth Cara, and she said "How about Cara Elizabeth?"
Then I knew. It flowed beautifully and it struck a chord with me. So I get to honor my mother's intent in naming me and to honor my maternal grandmother, with whom I was very close.
And that is how I chose my name.
I taught school for so many years that while I liked most of the kids I taught, certain names have developed definitely negative feelings for me. This made it difficult when it came to naming my own children but now obviously with my own name as well.
I read somewhere that if you are not of the current generation, you should go back and look at the names in your high school yearbook. I eliminated some of those names based on my teaching background, others because they were similar to or the same as current friends and others that I just didn't like.
I did like the sound of Paula and have selected that - at least for now, but I do like it. I've given thought to a middle name as well but have not made any selections at this point.
Isn't it both a luxury and a burden to select your own name? For some of us a bit more of one than the other and yet still a mix, I think.
I've been off and on thinking about my name for ages. Partly because I have to think up ot find so many different ones for one of my favourite pastimes, Online Roleplay Gaming. My birthname is Lori, so to keep with the initial I tried Laurence. I like it, though I'm the only one who uses it yet, but I stumbled across Lorenz, which is the Germanic spelling and comes off the family tree, so I think it would be what my parents might have called me had I come out with male genitalia.
As for a middle name... Theresa is the Birthname... Terence doesn't work and I don't have a clue what else I'd want!
Edit: Just did some wandering through name sites. Thorsten, Theodor and Theophil would be my top picks. Just to see what works best for me.
I asked my mom, still waiting for her to get back to me...